This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: “The Floggings Will Continue Until Morale Improves”

  • An Updated “How Bad You’re Getting Screwed by Social Security” Calculator

    About 2 years ago, I published an article here at TAH on the above subject.  That article dealt with how we might have privatized Social Security in the early 1980s (the proposal was seriously discussed).  It also included a downloadble Excel spreadsheet to calculate what benefits a hypothetical “Super IRA” based on individual contributions with mandatory employer matching in the same amounts as your Social Security taxes (the OASD part) would have provided.  The assumption was that this “Super IRA” was invested in a hypothetical investment fund tracked the Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA), much like many mutual funds do today.

    The subject came up again yesterday in the comments to this article. So I decided to update the previous spreadsheet with new data.  It’s now current through July 2014.  File format is Excel 97-2003.

    Use it by filling in your own data, then using the links in the prior article on the subject to get an estimate of your possible future Social Security benefits.  (If Congress doesn’t reduce or eliminate them before you become eligible for them, of course.)  Embedded comments in the spreadsheet should answer most questions.

    Be forewarned – if you choose to use the spreadsheet, there’s a good chance you’ll probably be rather . . . . disappointed.  Or disgusted.

  • Army to Cut 30,000 Troops Over Next 17 Months

    I’ve written previously about BCTs affected by the Army’s cutback plans.  Well, courtesy of the Army Times we now have some additional information as to how the Army plans to implement the required personnel cutbacks.

    Short version:  10,000 will have to go this year.  And next year, another 20,000.

    On 1 Apr, the Army’s end strength was a hair under 520,000 – 519,786, to be precise.  By the end of FY2015, it must be 490,000.

    The math is pretty simple.  520,000 minus 490,000 equals 30,000.

    About 15% of the expected reduction is projected to come via officer and NCO early separation boards.  The source for the rest was not explicitly identified. However,  those sources can be inferred from the Army’s drawdown strategy, which

    . . . features a combination of reduced recruiting and re-enlistment missions, early outs for short-timers who are headed to college or are in units scheduled for inactivation, and strict enforcement of disciplinary and performance standards. The strategy also includes selective early retirement and reduction-in-force boards for officers, and separation and early retirement boards for NCOs who are in overstrength career fields and specialties.

    However, per the current CSA, GEN Rayomond Odierno, voluntary separation incentives are currently not a part of the strategy.  I guess R&R and $400 million helicopters must be more important.

    Well just Bless Our Hearts, It’s Christmas Almost.

  • Letters from Bernath, homophobe edition

    Always nice to hear from a friend:

    Counselor:
    As a further sign that I wish to meet and confer to resolve all differences short of litigation; I know that being an open homosexual is now considered to be a great thing, with open homosexuals serving in the US Army and Navy. So, your “coming out” really can’t be considered a bad thing, right?

    I also want to tell you how “brave” you are for coming out and I am sure that all your colleagues (esp. the lesbians Valkarie and Ex PH2) will stand with you firmly, like a ramrod crossing shit river.

    Daniel A. Bernath
    Attorney at Law

    I totally get why he thinks I am gay. I dress superfluously and flamboyantly. In fact, Joan Rivers once said that I do more for her in my Patriots hoodie than any other man has done for her since 1927. I get it. Look, I am a sexy man, there is no escaping that fact. When Bernath sees pictures of me, I don’t doubt he feels a stirring in his loins. I’m his Tom Brady.

    The problem is, I am happily married. To a woman. So I just don’t see it working out between Dan and I. However, I really hope he does find the courage to come out himself. As he says, I have NO PROBLEM with gays at all. Heck, I even saw a gay midget dancing to Copa Cabana a few weeks ago, and it was one of the highlights of my life. Any of you on my Facebook know that to be true. It was a thing of sublime beauty.

    But Dan is trying so hard to fight off the gay. Like Jacob wresting the Angel, poor Dan is being held down by his homosexual latencies. Which got me thinking, would Dan actually make a good gay?

    I report, you decide:

    Push play for the music as you peruse Dannie-Boi’s pictures.

    Dan could live his dream of being bathed by men.
    Man bath

    Or be a unicorn.
    gayunicornman

    He and Richard Simmons could hawk Obamacare together.
    Daniel Simmons

    He could finally start dating Johnny Weir.
    skating gay

    He could march in the Phony CPO Pride Parade.
    prideparade

    Heck, he could even create his own video game.
    video gayme

    You’ll never convince anyone that you aren’t, as Ace of Spades would artfully state it, “a pack a day smoker of the cock.” So you might as well set yourself free Dan. You’ll feel better about yourself.

    Now with new Poll Goodness:
    VillageBernath

    Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.

  • More “Help” for Members of the Military

    Well isn’t this “special”.  It appears that one of the uniformed services is about to “help” its members by further restricting their behavior.

    Specifically, it’s been reported that the Navy is considering a ban on tobacco sales on both bases and ships.

    Hey, I understand that tobacco is (at least arguably) a nasty habit, and can have bad effects on one’s health.

    But it’s legal.  And apparently unlike the Navy, since it’s legal I don’t see any reason why adults can’t choose to use tobacco if they so desire.

    Sheesh.  Give me a freaking break.

  • Disciplinary Crackdown

    I’ll just leave this one here.  You might want to read it when no kids are around.

    US Military Cracks Down On Troop Masturbation In Afghanistan

    I’m guessing this is a joke.  If so, it’s good to see that the troops still have a sense of humor.  (smile)

    And if it’s not a joke:  I think the author of this policy has just self-identified a billet – and an individual – that are prime candidates for elimination during the upcoming drawdown.  They obviously don’t have a meaningful mission.

  • Tell Us Something We Didn’t Already Know, General

    The headline says it all, but the article is fairly short and worth reading:

    Current funding makes hollow force ‘inevitable,’ 3-star says

    No surprise, really.  Some of us are old enough to remember post-Vietnam and the Carter years.

    Looks like it’s gonna be, in the words of Yogi Berra, “Déjà vu all over again.”

  • Hate to Say I Told You So . . . .

    The Army has announced that more than 20 central boards meeting next year will also consider soldiers for involuntary separation, according to the Army Times.

    All senior NCO promotion boards meeting next year will also serve as QSP/QMP screening boards.  For those unfamiliar with the difference:  the Army’s QSP (Qualitative Service Program) is intended to reduce senior NCO populations in over-strength MOS, while the QMP (Quality Management Program) is a program that targets senior NCOs with derogatory information in their personnel files for termination of service.  This means that every E6, E7, and E8 being screened for promotion next year will also be screened for involuntary termination or forced early retirement.

    The article doesn’t specifically address officer selection boards.  However, traditionally officer promotion boards are also used to screen records on a “show cause for retention” basis.  I’m guessing that the O3, O4, O5, and O6 boards are the others not named in the article that bring the total to “more than 20”.  However, I could easily be wrong.

    This is nothing new, and this should be no surprise.  The same thing happened during the Bush(41) and Clinton administrations.  (I’m guessing it happened after Vietnam and during the Carter administration as well, but I can’t say for sure from personal knowledge.)  Hell, some QMP boards occurred during the last couple of years of the Reagan administration.

    I’m guessing the other three services are all doing something similar.

    Welcome back to the Peacetime Army.  “Bless Our House It’s Christmas Almost”.

  • Sex No Longer Sells – at AAFES

    Well, that’s apparently true when it comes to magazines, anyway.

    According to this article (emphasis added),

    Playboy, Penthouse and other sex-themed magazines will no longer be sold at Army and Air Force exchanges _ a move described by the stores’ operators as a business decision based on falling sales, and not a result of recent pressure from anti-pornography activists.

    Raise your hand if you believe that politics had nothing to do with this decision – especially in light of the recent public claims that the presence of “sex magazines” contributes to military sexual exploitation and sexual assault and that DoD needs to “change the culture” to fix things.

    Yeah, I didn’t think so.  Me either.

    The timing of this decision is ironic, however.  Apparently DoD recently released a letter indicating that sales of magazines such as Playboy and Penthouse were OK for sale by military stores under Federal law “because they were not considered ‘sexually explicit.’ ”

    So, legally they’re not “sexually explicit” – but they are “sex magazines” anyway?

    Ooh-kay.  And the tooth fairy leaves a quarter for every baby tooth lost by good kids and left under their pillow, too.

    Hey, I’ve got an idea.  Why don’t we try treating the troops like the adults they are – and hammering the few miscreants and fools who can’t or won’t act responsibly?

    Oh, wait.  We used to do that, but were told to stop. I forget why.