This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here

Category: “Teh Stoopid”

  • Jeffrey Michels, deserter caught after 40 years

    Jeffrey Michels, deserter caught after 40 years

    The Miami Herald tells the story of Jeffrey Michels who deserted from the Air Force on July 6, 1977 to avoid his impending assignment to Minot Air Force Base, North Dakota. He changed his name and became a Floridaman until he was arrested by Seminole County Sheriff’s Office last week and turned over to the Air Force to face the consequences of his transgressions;

    How was he found? The Air Force hasn’t responded to a request for comment. But WTFV reports that a picture of Michels was posted in a Facebook group called “Veteran Doe” in July, along with details about when he disappeared.

    The Veteran Doe post on Michels was taken down after he was found, according to Amelia Brandt-Pearn, the site’s administrator.

    It looks like “Veteran Doe” is a Facebook page for finding missing veterans and troops. When they ran the story of the missing airman, someone must have recognized Michels.

    Because there’s no statute of limitations on military crimes, Michels can be charged and face trial in military court, according to the International Business Times.

    Michels, 64, was born in East Liverpool, Ohio, according to police records. He’s the owner of a construction business in Central Florida called Atlantic Development. Police were able to identify him based on a scar on his left leg near his ankle, according to his arrest report.

    Thanks to Andy11M for the link.

  • Stop Blaming Guns For What People Do

    As always, hysterical articles about gun laws and gun violence have erupted, right on schedule, in regard to the episode of pure evil in Las Vegas on Sunday evening.

    It’s always the fault of guns first, as if they have some unknown ability to animate themselves and just start shooting. I have yet to find any place on Earth that has robot guns in place. Even the Terminator had to go to a store to get his/its hands on ballistic weapons, and walked away disappointed that he/it couldn’t get a bolt-action laser bullet-firing rifle. “Just what you see on the shelf,” said the shopkeeper. And let’s remember that the  Terminator used a vehicle to ram his/its way into the police station, then proceeded to use a pump-action shotgun to blast away at everything in sight while the heroine hid under a desk. Oh, yeah — that all took place in California. The irony is blatant.

    Of course, politicians (especially DiFi) jumped right up out of the woodwork, brought their puppet Gabby Giffords front and center along with Shotgun Joe Biden, and wailed about ‘Stop gun violence’.

    As I recall, when Nichols and McVeigh set off a truck bomb in Oklahoma City, no one hollered ‘ban medium-sized rental trucks!’ or started a campaign to stop truck bombings. No one wailed, jumped up and down and pointed, and thumped a podium proposing banning rental trucks or legislation to take multipassenger transport planes out of skies and go back to driving horses and buggies or using a passenger trains only mass transportation system.

    Those were one-offs, right?  No, they weren’t. We know better, because we can find plenty of plane hijackings if we try. How about the PanAM Lockerbie bombing?

    Frankly, you couldn’t get me on a passenger flight now, for a good reason. The last time I flew any commercial flight anywhere was the fall of 2000. The guy next to me was an obnoxious gasbag who decided my reserved seat was his and wouldn’t give it up until I offered to get the flight attendant. The flight out was bad enough, but the return flight was worse. I used to like flying. You can’t get me near a commercial flight now. I’ll walk first. And it’s gotten worse since the events of 9/11/2001, because people seem to have become even more obnoxious and bad-mannered. Maybe it’s being in a captive environment that does it.

    I looked around for the volume of laws on the books that relate to gun control. At the Federal level, there are already nine in place. The number at state level varies from state to state. Why is “more gun control laws, there aren’t enough!” the first thing uttered? Why? Pure, unadulterated, intentional ignorance. Ask those morons how many laws are already in place. Corner one of them about it.

    What happened on Sunday in Las Vegas has absolutely nothing to do with guns, any more than parking a rented truck loaded with a homemade bomb near a federal building has anything to do with rented trucks or flying a plane full of passengers and fully-fueled into a skyscraper has anything to do with airplanes. Nor does it have anything to do with the crowbars and other things used by a beast like Ted Bundy to brutalize and kill women over a period of some 20 years.

    We have to face who and what we are. WE are a violent species. We are predators, first and foremost, not herd animals, whether the politicos like that or not. And believe me, they don’t like it. They do not view any of us as individuals. I blame most of that on the media, which panders to the false narrative that we are, indeed, dumb herd animals. WE aren’t dumb. THEY are.

    Nor are we, as Americans, likely to submit obediently to being told to go live in “special” places and wonder what’s going on while more and more of us are brought in by cattle car to join us. Read up on the revolt at Sobibor. Not everyone went quietly. Some of those rebellious souls used guns they had taken away from their Nazi guards. We’re more likely to be those guys at Sobibor than the sheep that Stalin, Hitler, Mao Tse-Tung, and Pol Pot slaughtered by the millions.  I have no idea how many people Saddam Hussein killed off but he can rightfully be added to that list, along with his two offspring.

    You can pass all the idiotic legislation you want to but until politicians stop using puppets like Giffords and Brady as poster-children for their need to be control freaks, and take a hard look at how dysfunctional they themselves really are, nothing will stop the violence.

    You cannot legislate it out of existence. You can heavily punish the offenders. You cannot legislate the Paddocks and Bundys and despotic dictators out of existence.

    In the meantime, the screeching and scrambling to pass more laws, the ignorance about current legislation which is more than adequate, and the lackadaisical attitude that pervades the HERDS of people who just don’t believe anyone could possibly want to hurt them (seriously, ask one of them) are the real problem.

    We do NOT need more gun laws. There are plenty on the books. We do NOT need more legislation. We need more public awareness of what is already in place.

    We do NOT need a news media environment that squawks and points about gun violence, pesters already-rattled victims for interviews like the carrion eaters they are, and gathers like groupies at a head-banger concert when these events take place. That needs to be stopped right now. The blood lust they display is appalling.

    I blame the news media for what happened in Las Vegas – all of it.

    We need to do whatever is necessary to get people to stop being careless slackers about their surroundings. Please tell me why some stupid young woman thinks it’s okay to be out jogging after midnight, wearing headphones, when personal violent crime is rising in Chicago, and she is assaulted, beaten and raped. And then she wants the city to pass laws against that. The sheer stupidity about this that I see in people between 18 and 45 is astounding. And their rebuttal is “Why shouldn’t I be able to go jogging at midnight in a bad neighborhood? Why would anyone hurt me? I’m so nice!”

    Whether you own weapons or don’t, WE need to argue the opposite side of that coin that has political animals jumping right in front of TV cameras with their puppets, and make it clear that there is enough legislation in place already. It hasn’t stopped anything. The world is a harsh, violent place that wants to terminate your existence by any means.

    If we are going stop this, we have to stop blaming inanimate objects for what WE do and take responsibility for it.  And blame the news media for everything – all of it.

  • Post-Combat Drunken Orgies Okay

    Image result for pictures of ancient roman armor

    6th Victrix Tribune (Ret.) Fabius Flatulus Maximus was kind enough to give me some of his time in retirement for another interview. He’s been fascinated by the game of golf, but can’t imagine anyone chasing a little white ball around a mowed lawn with holes in it.

    I did explain to him that it was a game invented by the Scots, who used to be known as the Pictish tribes.

    “Oh! Those birdbrains! Why didn’t you say so!” He laughed. “Yeah, we just called all of them Gauls or Galicians and ignored their tribal cacaisms. Pissed them off no end. We built the Antonine Wall under Antoninus Pius, after ol’ Hadrian built his wall to keep them on their side of the fence. Ours was bigger. And longer. Kept the troops busy, too. How can I help you?”

    I explained the whole business of sexual harassment and sexual misconduct in the units, and he stopped me right there.

    “Whoa! Misconduct?” He shook his head and snorted. “Sexual misconduct?”

    I nodded.

    “I did not know there was such a thing,” he remarked.

    I gave him a copy of the latest bit of tight-as-a-drumhead lecture on ‘look but don’t touch, and don’t look, either’. He let out a bellow of laughter, which went on until his eyes were watering and he finally caught his breath.

    “Who wrote this nonsense?” he asked. “What is he? Castratus? Oportet mihi te cacare!1”

    I answered ‘No, it seems that it has to do with a lack of understanding of things like the fight or flight response and human nature’s need to breed, once territory is confirmed in friendly hands. The modern military is very, very uptight about such things. They don’t like the troops patronizing prostitutes, either.”

    His response to that was quite straightforward.

    “There is nothing wrong with having a little post-combat orgy, as long as too much wine isn’t spilled and no one gets into knife fights. It’s okay if they have chest bumping contests for amusement, too,” he said, “or a javelin throw using leftover skulls as targets. Relieves stress, you know.  And no patronizing prostitutes? How are those girls supposed to make a living? About all they have is their good looks, you know.  But you’re putting women in combat?”

    I nodded.

    “Must be wretchedly mulierii ieiunio2. Carnarius sum, sed pinguiarius non sum3. If they’re really worried about this misconduct issue, they could try recruiting women from the Isle of Lesbos over near Greece. But are these Amazons any good at killing the barbarians?” he asked.

    I assured him they were trained properly for the job. But the general concern was that post-combat stress would lead to improper and inappropriate sexual conduct.

    He stared at me for a moment, then burst into more raucous laughter.

    “Inappropriate what??? Whoever comes up with this stuff,” he said, “has to be psychotic! Iignosce mihi4, but we always approved drunken orgies after a battle. Spoils of war and all that. It relieves the troops’ stress as long as no one really overdoes it. Takes the cork out of the amphora, so to speak. We let ‘em party until they pass out. Then they get to work hard the next day, doing things like armor repair and carpentry and building stone walls. In the sun. Under really bad-tempered centurions.”

    “Well, what about the rape of the Sabine women?” I asked.

    “Hey, I had nothing to do with that! It happened six hundred sixty years before I was born. My granny told me it was half and half. Some of those Sabine women were desperate for real men, so when the Romans showed up, off they went. Those flabby Etruscans like to lie their asses off about everything, you know, and they didn’t want to lose their monopoly on trade with local farmers. When we showed up, we brought competition. That, and muscles.”

    “Well, I’m glad we got that straightened out,” I said. “So Livy was wrong?”

    “Mostly. And anyway, who cooked up this nonsense? Some pig-eyed male virgin with a squint?”

    I said no, it was purported to have been the fault of some jug-eared guy with a big nose who talks to himself a lot.

    “Figures,” he said. “Sounds like something Little Boots would do. Or Commodus.”

    Rough Latin translations below:

    1 A eunuch? You gotta be shittin’ me!

    2 Bony broads

    3 I’m a meat lover, not a fat lover.

    4 Excuse me, but…

  • The Dazzling Brilliance of Poodle Logic

    One of our frequent commenters made a comment the other day that caught my attention. I felt compelled to respond.

    Why?  Because that comment reached a new low, even for “That Guy”, in terms of fallacious argument.  So I thought I’d point out to the individual the error of his argument, just in case he might possibly learn something from the correction. Based on past experience, I rather doubt he will; but you never know.

    The comment in question can be found here.  It purports to show, by giving examples of their behavior, that “of course the Nazis were right-wing” (or words to that effect).

    Now, people who are even passingly familiar with logic probably already see the problem with that argument.  Since That Guy often seems to have a problem grasping simple concepts, I’ll spell things out for his benefit.

    The major fallacy in that argument is that it assumes that a particular behavior by government is reliably indicative of whether that government is “right wing” or “left wing.”  That is, “If a government does a certain thing (‘X’), then it is a ‘right wing’ government.”  If that assumption is incorrect, the argument falls apart completely.

    Unfortunately, that assumption is not universally true.  Given similar circumstances both “right wing” and “left wing” governments often behave similarly.  Therefore, any argument that “because a government did “X”, it is therefore “right wing” (or “left wing”) is invalid – because here the “if” doesn’t invariably lead to the “then”.

    In order to demonstrate just how asinine this particular false argument really is, I’m going to have a bit of fun.  Below, I’m going to use literally the individual’s own bogus argument to “prove” that the government of the Soviet Union was “right wing”.  I’ll do so by making minor revisions to the individual’s comment – which will be presented in italics – but I’ll leave the original logical structure, and most of it’s original language, completely intact.

    Enjoy.

    (Note:  the grammatical errors and awkward/incomplete sentence structure in what follows are present in the original; I left them in place because I wanted to make as few changes as possible to the original.  I’ve marked many of those errors carried over from the original appropriately, but I won’t guarantee I got them all.)

    . . .

    [BEGIN RE-WRITTEN ARGUMENT]

    So lets (sic) look that (sic) the characteristic (sic) of SOVIET SOCIALISM based on what THEY ACTUALLY DID. Not merely the rhetoric of speeches made during the decades after they rose to power.  (sic)

    Powerful and Continuing Socialist Symbology: They used symbols of  Soviet Socialist unity everywhere. Flags, slogans, songs, pins, banners, and other regalia. (sic)

    Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights: The Soviets approval (sic) the use of torture, and summary executions of prisoners. Their disdain for human rights was particularly true when targeting political dissidents or ethnic minorities desiring autonomy.

    Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause: The Soviets were notorious for blaming foreign influence, capitalists, and “reactionary elements” for the problems in the nation.

    Supremacy of the Military: The Soviet military was given a disproportionate amount of government funding. Soldiers and military service were glamorized.

    (Sidebar:  there’s a very good reason the Soviet Union during the Cold War was on occasion referred to as “Upper Volta with Missiles”.  Outside the larger cities, the  infrastructure and civilian economy of the Soviet Union reputedly was closer to third-world than first-world standards during much of the Cold War.  The reason?  An absurdly huge fraction of the Soviet Union’s economic production was going towards the nation’s military.)

    Rampant Sexism: Soviet Leadership was almost exclusively male-dominated (one member four members in Politburo history were female). While either gender was in theory free to “be all they could be”, in practice traditional gender roles remained traditional and largely unchanged. Rampant homophobia and anti-gay legislation and national policy. (sic)

    Initially Blamed and Scapegoated the Media, then Took Control of Media:  Prior to the October Revolution, “the Bolsheviks denounced the press itself as being openly hostile and protecting the ‘rotten’ regime of Nicolas II”.  And when they took control they targeted the press and immediately took control over it (e.g., during the October Revolution, by decree).

    Obsession with National Security: The Soviet government’s use of fear and the constant rhetoric of threats post (sic) domestic and international as a motivational tool by the Soviet  government over the masses was ubiquitous.

    Religion and Government were Intertwined: The Bolshevik leadership was overwhelmingly Atheist and when they took power the (sic) persecuted Orthodox Christians and Muslims. Lenin, Stalin, and later Soviet leaders attempted to substitute State Atheism as a de facto state religion and unifying force. That failed, but notions of a unified and pure Atheist Soviet Socialist State obsessed Soviet leadership. They thought religion was a corrupting and dividing influence on the purity and strength of Soviet Socialism and it (sic) needed to be replaced for the good of Soviet Socialism. Their long game was a ubiquitous state-sponsored Atheism that would replace religion and become a source of unity in the country rather than one of division.

    Labor Power was Suppressed: Because the organizing power of labor (particularly independent worker movements) was a threat to Socialist government, in the Soviet Union labor unions were either eliminated, co-opted, or controlled by the Soviet government.

    Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts: In the Soviet Union, free expression in the arts was openly attacked. Intellectuals and artists were targeted and jailed.

    Obsession with Crime and Punishment: In the Soviet Union, police and other internal security personnel were given almost limitless power to enforce laws – and if necessary, to act completely outside them. Physical abuse and violence by police and other government security agents was overlooked because it was very unwise to criticize the government because it was regarded as taking the side of “reactionary elements”. (awkward, run-on sentence structure from original)

    It is clear that in actual ACTIONS that SOVIET SOCIALISM was  a RIGHT WING movement.

    [END RE-WRITTEN ARGUMENT]

    . . .

    Astute readers will note one omission in the above.  The paragraph in the original comment beginning, “Corporate Power is Protected:  . . . .” is not addressed.

    That was by design.  I didn’t address that paragraph because it was absurd on its face.  “Central control via a combination of coercion, intimidation, appropriation, and regulation” is decidedly not the same as a “partnership”.

    A cursory review the 1931 National Socialist Program – particularly points 11-17 – clearly shows that the Nazis envisioned government control over the means of production if and when they gained political control. After they attained power, they took action to achieve this.  They were so successful that none other than Albert Speer himself opined that “a kind of state socialism seemed to be gaining more and more ground”, and further warned that Germany’s industry was becoming “the framework for a state-socialist economic order.”  In short:  the Nazis were actively working to gain central control of Germany’s means of economic production – and were succeeding.

    Oh, and starting in 1936 the Nazis also instituted “Four Year Plans” for the German economy.  Sound familiar?  It should – and it also sounds to me as if they were trying to “one-up” the Soviet Union’s well-known Five Year Plans.

    Bottom line:  that paragraph in the original comment was so absurd on its face that IMO it was already a parody of historical reality.  So I didn’t bother to even attempt to re-write it as parody.

    . . .

    As I said above, I hope most readers have enjoyed this article.  Or, if you’re a leftist tool who doesn’t like looking like an idiot . . . maybe you’ll take it’s lesson to heart, learn to think – and use logical reasoning – before you wax ignorant once again.  But I’m not holding my breath.

    Especially if you’re going to imply, inaccurately, that I’m lying the next time you wax ignorant, clown.  For that bit of mendacity, let me pass along to you a message from TG – which I heartily endorse.

     

     

    Let me know if you need that translated.

     

     

    (Author’s Note: Edited to account a minor factual error in the original article. Later research showed that three women besides Yekaterina Furtseva had briefly been members of the Soviet Politburo/Central Committee – one during the immediate post-Revolutionary period, and two others near the end of Gorbachev’s regime.)

  • A Crumpet! My Kingdom for a Crumpet!

    A short while ago, there was an unfortunate incident in Portland, OR, a fracas over two women who started selling breakfast burritos out of a food truck.  It was because they had “stolen” a recipe from local women while on a vacay in Cabo San Lucas. The so-called food protest in Portland, OR, was not about culture or ethnicity or inclusion. No, it was about separation. Division. Distances.

    When those SJW busybodies went to the trouble of making a chart of which restaurants were owned/run by ethnically-correct owners, it was a slap in the face of that slacker metrosexual president they lusted over, who whined in public: “Can’t we all just get along?” before he had that ‘meet & grumble’ episode in the Rose Garden. Remember that one?

    Yeah, I’m quoting Obama, the guy who looked good in a suit but couldn’t have done more than he did to be divisive. Not going to waste time on that, because he’s gone for good, but he did have a point there.  Uh, yeah, can’t we all just get along?

    After these two silly women came home from their stay in the Baja, they tried to duplicate the buttery stretchy flatbread produced by the women down there and sold as wraps with fillings. When they bragged about it, they were slammed by the self-important divisive twits whose argument was that if those two women “stole” the recipe, they were “stealing culture” somehow. That doesn’t make any sense at all. Forcing those women to shut down, and then going around Portland to demand that restaurant owners stop producing and selling food that wasn’t in their “ethnic group” (whatever that is), shows a complete disconnect from the reality that there are Japanese chefs running restaurants that serve Nigerian cooking, and Italians cooking Chinese food and running sushi restaurants. Should Wolfgang Puck stop selling French onion soup?

    I can cite dozens of similar examples, but the point is that this imbecilic protest was not about how diverse we are. It was about divisiveness, controlling what other people do, and making sure we all know that there is a vast gap between “you” and “me”, whoever we are. Instead of doing something constructive, the self-important birdbrained authoritarians not only shut down a thriving street vendor business, which generates tax revenues, they also deprived the owner of the street vendor truck, a Mexican fellow, of rental income.

    How’s that for being blind and stupid all at once?

    But you see, that doesn’t matter to these narrow-minded little snots, because They Say it’s not politically correct to be a unified species. And yes, they go by skin color. My skating coach was Polish, her husband was Chilean. They were both European in appearance, as is a huge population group of Latinos.  But we have to note our vast differences and never bridge that gulf, not because the distance between me and my Latino/Chicano and black neighbors is so great, but because The They said so. They have said it. It is an order. Thus it shall be.

    Uh, no. Not just ‘no’ but ‘N-O’ NO!

    First of all, if you want to come up with a product you can sell, do a better job of doing your homework. Those two bimbos who got slammed didn’t bother with that. They really were/are a pair of numbskulls. They could have found at least six flatbread recipes online to use and developed their own from those instructions. The same buttery, stretchy flatbread that had them all ga-ga in the Baja is a universal food item, not something special from Cabo San Lucas housewives. They were incredibly lazy and dumb.

    Flatbread is the oldest human-produced food on the planet. The grain emmer, for instance, came into use around 17,000 BC. The use of emmer as a cereal food is considered to be contemporary with that of einkorn. Similar to einkorn, the earliest civilizations initially consumed emmer as a porridge prior to developing the process of bread making.  It’s still in use today.  The history of bread and cake starts with Neolithic cooks and marches through time according to ingredient availability, advances in technology, economic conditions, socio-cultural influences, legal rights (Medieval guilds), and evolving taste. The earliest breads were unleavened. Variations in grain, thickness, shape, and texture varied from culture to culture.

    Beer was developed in Mesopotamia during the production of bread using grain that had been sprouted and dried, and subsequently letting the water ferment. The addition of yeast to flour was probably accidental, but yeast is also used in brewing beer. In ancient Egypt, women were the producers of both bread and beer. The Egyptian process was to bake the bread, then break up the loaves and put them in the sprouting water and allow them to ferment, and then drink the fermented liquid. – – Source: http://www.foodtimeline.org/

    And what do we have now? Glad you asked.

    Malaysian crisp, pulled flatbread: Roti Canai (Malaysia) or Roti Paratha (Singapore)

    Roti: buttery Indian flatbread

    Agege flatbread: stretchy Nigerian flatbread

    Naan bread: a tandoor bread , baked in a tandoor oven on a ghee-lubed baking sheet; or just buy it at the grocery store

    Tortillas: hard or soft; made with wheat flour or maisa (corn flour), but  not all that difficult to make. It’s simpler to just buy them at the grocery store, too.

    Parotta or paratha: south Indian layered flatbread

    Rghaif: Moroccan flatbread

    Markouk saj: paper-thin Lebanese flatbread, stretched on a pillow

    Pita bread: Greek flatbread, just thick enough to cut in half and split into pouches

    Malawach: Yemenite Jewish flatbread

    Jachnun: another Yemenite Jewish flatbread, rolled into sticks and fried

    Crepes: thin eggy pancakes: France

    Pancakes: your grandma’s kitchen and the Better Homes & Gardens cookbook; but very old and European in origin; made for Shrove Tuesdays.

    – and last but certainly not least:

    PIZZA! Yes, the pizza crust is a light, stretchy dough that can be thrown into a large, flat disc shape, loaded with sauce (make your own!), cheese, pepperoni, olives, mushrooms, garlic, hamburger, ham, sausage, extra cheese, extra pepperoni, and extra extra pepperoni. And the honorable modern pizza? It supposedly started in Italy with focaccia bread made by a Neapolitan baker named Esposito for King Umberto and his wife, but in reality, pizza was first documented in AD 997 in Gaeta. Basically, it’s flatbread with toppings, just like the others, but if you want a Neapolitan pizza, it must meet certain specific standards. And it isn’t just Napoli, either, it’s a universal European flatbread.

    I was almost ready to set up a roach coach and start selling the Premium McWrap, which I dearly love, because McD’s quit selling it. Why? Simple. They have higher revenues from their all-day breakfast offerings than they got from the McWrap, so they did what all businesses do: they followed the cash flow. The McWrap isn’t so hard to put together, either: big flour tortilla, crispy chicken tenders, lettuce, shredded cheese, some diced tomato, ranch dressing. How hard is that?

    All of this info comes from sources available online, including the recipes.  Now, if those two dumb broads had bothered to do their research for the 45 minutes that it took me to find these resources, they might still be in business, and that ridiculous, petulant, butthurt, not-your-ethnic-group crap in Portland might not have happened.

    Instead, we get more divisiveness, more anger over imagined, nonexistent wrongs, and more online articles about how butthurt someone is about it all.

    To make it clear just how I feel about the screechingly idiotic Social Justice Warrior Howler Monkeys (thanks, Nicki!) , I’ve come up with a list of foods that they can have, and they must not stray from this list, or suffer the consequences.

    Here we go: Oreos (now made in Mexico); Lifesavers; Hostess cupcakes; Baby Ruth, Oh Henry!, Mounds, Mr. Goodbar, Mike and Ike, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfinger, Heath Bars, Nestle Drumsticks (1920s); Twinkies; Snickers, Tootsie Pops, Fritos, 3 Musketeers, Ritz Crackers, Frito corn chips, 5th Avenues, Krispy Kreme donuts (1930s); Girl Scout Cookies; Cheetos; Pop Tarts; hot dogs; hamburgers; Doritos; Campbell’s condensed soups; Sunbeam white bread, well-known for its rubbery texture and bland flavor, and finally, peanut butter and jelly made with high fructose corn syrup, which is now quite well-known for causing cirrhosis of the liver.

    The SJW Howler Monkeys absolutely must not stray from this list. The consequences will be horrendous if they do: a prolonged line of Republican presidents will rule the roost and ignore their howling, and they will be forced to find real jobs instead of living off their doting parents.

    Teh HORROR!

  • “Never underestimate the power . . .

    . . . of human stupidity.”

    For last week’s eclipse, proper eye protection was a must. Well, it was a must if you wanted to see normally afterwards.  Staring directly at the sun without eye protection for just a few seconds can cause retinal damage, even during a partial solar eclipse.

    Still:  despite the public warnings not to look at the eclipse without proper eye protection – or due to counterfeit merchandise – some “fine individuals” just didn’t acquire proper eye protection beforehand.  So a few such enterprising people without proper eyewear found a novel way to “protect” their eyes during the eclipse.

    They used sunscreen. On their eyeballs.

    I’m not joking.

    Reports have come from healthcare professionals in two different states of this abysmal idiocy. And yeah – one of the states was indeed the Granola State, California. (The other state where this was reported by a healthcare professional to have happened was Virginia.)

    (sigh)  God must love fools; he made so many of them.

     

    (In case you’re wondering: yes, this article’s split title/intro was shamelessly stolen from a great writer – the late Robert A. Heinlein. It’s one of his more famous quotes.)

  • Shoulda Seen This Coming

    The University of Southern California calls their athletic teams Trojans – after warriors from the ancient city in Asia Minor, not the other kind of Trojan. (smile)  That’s pretty much common knowledge.

    Traditionally, at home football games a sword-wielding Trojan warrior rides onto the field on a horse; that horse doubles as one of the USC athletic department’s mascots.  That too is relatively common knowledge.

    Well, it seems as if this has attracted the attention of the SJW crowd.  And, predictably, they       are hell bent on proving to the rest of the world that they are freaking morons       have their panties in a knot       are “not amused”.

    You see, the horse ridden by that Trojan warrior at football games happens to be white.  And the horse is named “Traveler”.

    So, what’s the problem?

    Well, Confederate General Robert E. Lee was white.  And his horse was similarly named, too.

    There were some differences, though.  Lee spelled his horse’s name differently (“Traveller”).  Lee’s horse also was grey, not white.  And the rider at USC games is wearing Bronze Age armor – not a Confederate uniform.

    But those differences apparently don’t matter.  According to the SJW crowd at USC, the horse is clearly a symbol of “white supremacy.”  So it must be renamed, pronto – or replaced!

    I really wish I was making this sh!t up.  But, sadly . . . I’m not.  The abject idiocy I’m describing here really happened.

    Sheesh.  What’s next – a claim that typing paper is a”inherently racist” because it also happens to be white?

    GMAFB.

  • If You Want to See A Real Liberal Jerk in Action . . . (Part 2)

    Well, here ya go.  Different kind from that highlighted Poetrooper’s last article on the same subject, though.

    This one’s a CNN host – Fareed Zakaria.  Yeah, I know: that’s a “shocker”. (smile)

    Here’s the money quote from a recent interview (emphasis added):

    “The election of Donald Trump is really a kind of class rebellion against people like us, educated professionals who live in cities, who have cosmopolitan views about things.”

    In short:  according to      “Progressive” tools      those highly educated,      Metrosexual Euroweenie      “cosmopolitan” types like Lord Fareed here, anyone from the      peasant      working class – or who otherwise doesn’t agree with him – should just shut up and color.  Obviously, they should let their “betters” (AKA the     Socialist      “Progressive elite”) run the show.

    Oh, and later in the interview he plays the “racism” card, too. What a surprise.

    Sheesh. And his ilk claims that his side represents the interests of the “Little Guy”? That’s like an English Lord from the 1400s claiming he understands the peasants’ concerns and issues – when in reality he doesn’t give a damn about what happens to them at all, so long as he’s safe and comfortable in his Manor House.

    Yo, Zakaria:  did you ever think that maybe 8 years of failed      Socialism      Progressive policy under the previous SCoaMF – which Clintoon sought to continue – might have had something to do with Trump’s election? Along with the fact that Clintoon was one of the most personally disagreeable and seemingly financially corrupt Presidential candidates in history?

    Both Fox News and the Washington Free Beacon have short articles giving a few more quotes from Lord Foot-in-mouth here.  They’re worth a read.

    Sheesh.  What a freaking arrogant, elitist ass.