Author: TSO

This is the most strained logic imagineable, but it is VoteVets, and that’s what we’ve come to love about them.

Some notes:

1) The tax structure and reporting mechanisms are set by Congress. Mitt Romney has never served in the Congress. If you have a problem with the tax laws, why not go after the people that make them instead of the people following them?

2) Soltz: “this is something the public has a right to disclosure on.” Really? Where does that right originate from? I have a right to say that Jon Soltz looks like an uncircumsized penis, and that he looks like he should be enticing kids with candy into his windowless van down by by the river. The First Amendment gives me that right. Now, explain to me what right someone has to the tax filings of another citizen. Show me where that is. Rights have to stem from a source, and I’d love to know what source he is referring to. Also, would Jon have also argued back in the day that troops have a right to see their Commander-in-Cheifs birth certificate? Because I don’t remember hearing them say that. Granted, I think the birther thing is horseshit, but no more or less so than an imagined right to see a candidates tax returns. (As a sidenote, when Ed here says that everything Romney is doing is legal, and that while it might not seem right to the average Joe but it is legal, he’s the only one with even a modicum of common sense.)

3) He did a poll with Celinda Lake. Oh, you mean a Democratic strategist did a poll for a non-partisan group? That’s interesting I think, no? I’m sure you’ll use Frank Luntz next time just to ensure that you aren’t aligned with a political party, right Jon? “These people are appauled to find out…” Wait, I thought it was a poll? So you educate them, and then ask them about what they just learned?

4) Regarding that poll, VoteVets only has the summary up, not the indepth stuff, so we have no idea how the questions were asked, what the samples were, how they played with the numbers, etc. What we do have is this asinine statement:

“At a time when our men and women in uniform are putting their lives on the line for America, and paying taxes, we need to know if Mitt Romney is making a fair contribution to America, our troops, and our veterans,” said Jon Soltz, Iraq War Veteran, and Chairman of VoteVets.org. “We need to know if, as a multi-millionaire, he is paying his fair share to provide for our troops in the field, and their care when they come home. It would be extremely disconcerting to have someone running to be Commander in Chief who is paying a lower tax rate than the majority of our troops and military retirees.”

No, you don’t “need to know” you want to know.  You don’t need to know shit, since as long as he has an R after his name, you aren’t voting for him anyway.  If it would be disconcerting to have Romney paying a lower rate, why don’t you use your extensive influence with Harry Reid to change the tax code?  Romney pays what the Gov’t tell him to pay, not what some penis-headed jackwagon running a faux-veterans group wants him to pay.

5) You know who’s taxes and financial info I want to see?  VoteVets.  I can’t find it, but maybe one of you can.  I don’t think they file a Form 990, because they aren’t even a real Veterans Organization, and are not under 501(c)(19) either.  I’d like to know how much they pay this moron, and I’d like to know where that money comes from.

 

Saw this posted somewhere, touting a job initiative/transportation venture in San Fran.

Mayor Gavin Newsom today joined the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency (SFMTA) and numerous elected and community leaders to celebrate the beginning of construction on the Central Subway, which is Phase 2 of the Third Street Light Rail Project. When service begins in 2018, this 1.7-mile extension of the existing T Third rail line will connect communities from Visitacion Valley to Chinatown with modern, convenient light rail service.

How many jobs?

The project will serve as an engine for economic growth and recovery in San Francisco, creating thousands of job opportunities. Recent estimates indicate that the Central Subway will support between 37,000 and 43,000 jobs over the life of the project.

The ratio on that is interesting. There are 5,280 feet to a mile, and you times that by 1.7 to get total length of 8,976 feet. Now, they can probably work on both sides at the same time, so let’s just double it, to 17,952 feet. Also, I would imagine that they’ll work on this thing like the Panama Canal, 3 shifts of 8 hours, round the clock. Through rain, snow, hail and NFC Champiomship games, so let’s just times that number by 3 (for the three shifts) giving us 53,856 feet within which those workers will be working.

That means that 24/7 working both sides of this track, each worker will have 1.25 feet, or 15 inches.

Dude, those sonsabitches really know how to work. Just imagine those folks all lined up, shoulder to shoulder, shovels in hand, digging holes and laying track. Just an awesome sight to behold, no?

ALSO: A friend noted that if we put San Francisco folks in charge of the Keystone Pipeline, it would employ 9,068,928 people. Which is a shitload of people, no matter how you do the math.

ADDED: Also, under my proposal, all of them will be veterans as well, I need to get VoteVets and their tens of supporters behind this in order to bring it to fruition, so based on that, I will expect the email touting the TSO Jobs Plan for Veterans from Dicksmith any second now.

This gag NEVER gets old.

I received this book from my “friend”, Jimmy Pike, shortly after my ex-wife absconded to the plains of northern Florida with our gardener, Rodrigo Figueroa. (Yes, that’s right you smarmy, back-stabbing twit – I’m calling you out!) In her wake, she’d left me with little else, but a microwave and a suspicious and malodorous rash. For better or worse, a few nights of panicking, challenging urination and a 2-week course of antibiotics soon left me with only the former. As I began to regain control of my faculties, it became apparent that my steady diet of Polly-o cheese sticks and mustard would not do. Still, while my appetite was returning, I found it impossible to operate the aforementioned microwave. That’s when I recalled that I had in my possession the one book that could help me. I am, of course, referring to Sonia Allison’s “Microwave For One”. Rarely has a tome so accurately captured the quiet desperation of post-marital cuisine. The chapters are well-organized and provide very simple, clear instructions on how to prepare a wide assortment of meals. (I would caution you, however, to try and pick-up an unused copy of the book. The one gifted to me was clearly secondhand as some of the writing had been smudged out by what I’m assuming were the previous owners errant tears.) From her Cheetos Souffle to her mouthwatering recipe for Canard A’la Sunkist, Ms. Allison does not disappoint. (Yes, of course she is single.) Bon appetit!

H/t to AR, the 3.4 kid.

For some inexplicable reason I have subjected myself all day to listening to Colin Cowherd tell me how that Pats suck. Naturally he keeps bringing up the stat that we have the worst defense in the NFL. Mind you that stat is based on the ridiculous “yards allowed” which is fine, except that games aren’t decided by how many yards a team has. From there it was how the Pats lost 3 games in October, and thus they suck, but the Giants are awesome because they are playing so hot lately. This is the same team that 3 weeks ago would only make it in if they beat the Jets, and that game was questionable, with half the ESPN guys taking the Jets.

Apparently the Ravens are going to blitz every down, and double team everyone on the Pats, which means the field could get crowded with 15 of those dudes running around on every play. But I’m not going to hate. I was certain the Pats would win 2 years ago, and they were circling the bowl like a corn encrusted turd about 5 minutes into that game, and my phone was melting down from all the VT Woody phone calls I was skipping. So look, I don’t know who wins, and until Sunday, I don’t really care what anyone else thinks either. But, remember all the way back to a week ago when Tebow was unstoppable? You may have seen it on ESPN. Yeah, not so much.

Anyway, I did like Conan’s take on this. (The mousey Conan, not the one who worships Krom and fought in the gladiator arena because he wasn’t a natural citizen.)

I was proud to have him as my battlebuddy, despite the obvious gayness of his weekend activities. A nicer guy, more dedicated to his brothers and sisters in arms you will never meet. And, he’s also part of the 1%.

I give you this without commentary, because it must be savored without any accoutrements….

Golds” are permanent or removable mouth jewelry, also referred to as “grills.” See Mouth Jewelry Wearers Love Gleam of the Grill, South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Feb. 4, 2007, p. 5, 2007 WLNR 2187080. See also A. Westbrook, Hip Hoptionary 59 (2002) (defining a “grill” as a “teeth cover, usually made of gold and diamonds”). 

I will say, however, that a “Hip Hoptionary” site before a TAH linking by Justice Thomas makes me a sad panda.

Per CNN:

 Salt Lake City, Utah, is known for breathtaking mountain scenery, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, the 2002 Winter Olympics.

But today it was also named the Gayest City in America by The Advocate magazine.

The Advocate ranked cities according to its own admittedly nonscientific criteria, including the number of gay and lesbian bookstores, elected officials who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, and some edgier metrics like the number of International Mr. Leather competition semifinalists and the presence of nude yoga classes. This year’s list intended to examine cities that are outside the usual orbit of San Francisco, Boston, Miami and New York, and came up with several surprises – Grand Rapids, Michigan, Knoxville, Tennessee. Even Little Rock, Arkansas, ranked 11 out of 15.

 

Um, call me old fashioned, but if I were a gay chap (again, loving Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. is not gay) I would just want to be left the hell alone. Being the home of the “Mr Leather competition semifinalists” wouldn’t really change the equation. And nude yoga strikes me as bad gay. I went to a nudist volleyball tournament outside Albany one time, and it was disgusting. There was fat, more fat, and sand stuck in celulite craters. In the movies it’s always hot broads bouncing. In the real world, hot broads don’t play nude volleyball.

The fact that it wasn’t Hyannisport, Key West and San Fran as the top 3 tells me the advocate doesn’t know how to rank things. Which for some reason reminded me of this scene:

I promised on Facebook that I wouldn’t blog this, but I am so flabbergasted that Yahoo had this picture up, that i just had to.  Since Fenway and Mosby woke me up at 3am this morning, coming up with captions to this picture is the only thing keeping me from Canine-icide.

 

Mitt Still up in New Hampshire.