OK, so one of the people at the movie last night was Venus Flytrap from WKRP in Cincinati, real name Tim Reid. The prevailing wisdom in emails today is that I am a total loser for not ever having watched this show, or knowing who he was. Now, if they said “Lt Downtown Brown from Simon & Simon” that reference I would have got.
Anyway, does that qualify as a bona fide celebrity sighting? Blackfive seems to think so, but I am still up in the air.
In my defense, I never claimed to be anything other than what I am, a pretty sensitive guy who served in the Infantry. Probably the only guy in a war zone ever who never left the wire without a copy of Cyrano de Bergerac in my pocket in case I got plugged so I could go out reading my favorite passages. Wasn’t a Nancy Kerrigan beat by a bat sort of tear thing, just a few times needed to clear the eyesight. I certainly didn’t advertise it, but wasn’t exactly embarassed by it either.
I told you a week ago about the movie I was going to see. Wasn’t just the movie that got me going, mind you. The 5 Guinness at Bullfeathers and then the 4 Beam and Cokes didn’t help. But, I REALLY didn’t want at rehash of the PTSD episode from At War either. You know how you feel a little bump when you see people you haven’t seen in a while? One of the things exclusive to guys who went to war is seeing guys you served with, in a situation unlike what you experienced. I had my best friend, Sgt Donkey Dong Owens, and Sniper of course. And Sgt Lilly, wearing a full on pimp outfit from A-stan. And Sgt G, on his best behavior. And SFC Holt, who was in the movie. I ran into a former XO of my company, I even ran into my nom de guerre COL Ortner, and I ran into dudes I don’t even remember their names.
(more…)
This should come as no surprise, but Dahr Jamail has no fuggin idea what he is talking about. In a story about Victor Agosto, who Jonn has covered previously, Dahr asserts this:
On that day, Agosto was ordered to get his medical records in preparation to deploy to Afghanistan. He refused to do so. The Army threatened to take punitive measures, but Agosto wrote on the Counseling Statement, “I am not going to Afghanistan. I will not take part in SRP [Sealift Readiness Programme].”
Dahr, you are possibly the worst reporter of all time. Seriously, you can’t even get rudimentary facts right. I mean, we always knew you were dishonest, but now you’ve entered the ranks of truly incompetant. Ergo, I am here to endeavor to help you, since as another TAH Target Alum noted, we may call you all names, but we still demand you contact us first, before you engage in yet another charlie foxtrot.
So, the “Sealift Readiness Programme” [sic] is
A standby contractual agreement between Military Sealift Command and US ship operators for voluntary provision of private ships for defense use. Call-up of ships may be authorized by joint approval of the Secretary of Defense and the Secretary of Transportation.
Are you saying that Viktor has boats and the military needs them desperately? Perhaps he has a large innertube on which one might affix a slingshot, and then drag his ass behind Task Force 151 to take out pirates? Or perhaps he has made a raft, a la Huck Fin, upon which we will stage our ready reaction forces off the coast of Okinawa? Or perhaps you merely relish the thought of Viktor as semen a seaman?
Memo to dipshit: SRP is Soldier Readiness Processing, run at Ft. Hood out of building 42000. I mean, not that you would ever just rehash something told you without verifying, but there are no fewer than 8 phone numbers you could have called on the Ft Hood SRP Center to verify the info that Viktor was giving you. I love the fact that IVAW also threw up your article, and the screw up of SRP isn’t caught by anyone.
Why anyone besides Michael Moore would buy into your lazy ass reporting is completely beyond me.
Looks like Napolitano was right with her second response, we actually WERE the intended victims of extremists.
Meanwhile, certain “anti-jihad” blog(s) continue to use the abortion doctor killing as proof that right wing extremists exist in great numbers, and thus the report was empirically neccessary, while devoting a whole 2 paragraphs to jihadi violence here.
These aren’t the extremists you are looking for. You can go about your bitness.
There are some emails that just live in infamy. Perfect example of this was my friend Dud’s email from a while back (now lost to time unfortunately) wherein he discussed the notes he took at one of those Date-O-Rama things. It went along the lines of
Becky- Age 23, likes cats, looks like Kordell Stewart.
Jenny- Age 31, likes to camp, fish, hunt. Kept trying to figure out where she had a knife hidden. Hope she’s not into cannibalism.
Anyway, the more pertinent one is from a TV Star friend of mine, sent Feb 16, 2006:
I am now going to bestow some universal knowledge that may occur odd or strange but as they are teachings long before you and I have lived this lifetime, they are based in ancient wisdom and wizdum, and should not be taken for granted or taken lightly. So laugh and share but beware, for we are all going to die. This is my greatest prediction!
Phenomenal start I thought as I waded through this email that would change my life.
2012 is when the Mayan’s said the next earth shift would occur. They proclaim in their teachings that it will happen on or around when the last tree in the great forest is cut down. As the lumber industry continues to use Africa as its main source for wood (insert joke here), the last tree in the rain forest is going down in the next 5-7 years at the current pace.
Damn, no trees in Africa? But what does this mean for me? Well, the answer was written in typical Nostradamian fashion, and then Planet X made an appearance.
Dear Carl Webb:
You seem like a great chap, really, I mean, sure you an unrepentant communist, and a deserter, but other than that (and being a complete deadbeat) you seem like right swell droog. So, I’m coming to you out of concern. See, we got your military records in, and my coblogger is just chomping at the bit to tear you a new ass. (You know, besides the one you have your head stuck in.)
But for a guy with a GED, you seem like a real Rhodes Scholar. And I hate to see another IVAW member/deserter/marxist/leninist/trotskyite take another dive over an error that is clearly not your fault. So, I have sedated Jonn for a bit, that will let you come out and correct the record before he takes your skinny ass out behind the woodshed (you know, notionally).
See, the Army totally F’d you my man. I mean, more than when they enlisted you through our fascist poverty draft, and the stop loss. Would you believe those silly sonsabitches have documentation that doesn’t match your stories? I mean, I was shocked as well. It’s like I tell everyone all the time, if you can’t trust Carl Webb, who in this world can you trust, eh?
But this excitement/anticipation is giving Jonn a stiffy. And I don’t think that his doctor can help him, even if it does last 4 hours or longer. Jonn has a big heart, and this could really kill him, you know, to put out information received through the Freedom of Information Act on a guy from New Orleans who also served in the GA National Guard, and then have to find out that the Army screwed up the paperwork.
I don’t want to see that happen. I mean sure, in the darkest depths of my heart I often dream of staging a coup, but let’s be real, I can’t even insert pictures without Jonn’s help. So, I need my man healthy, and only you can help.
How ’bout you just send us one shred of paper that proves the record you claim. You know, something from say, oh, I don’t know, the month before 9/11/01 through now. I know you have it. I mean, you loathe everything about the military, but shit, you’ve been living off the legacy of it since you enlisted on December 16 of 1982, so you must have a love me folder. (Damn dude, kinda old to be crashing on folks couches ain’t cha?) So, won’t you look deep into your heart and help me save Jonn’s life. Only you can do so, and prevent forest fires if that furry bastard Smokey the Bear is to be believed.
Anyway bro, Peace, Love and long live the proletariat!
TSO
UPDATE:
Carl Webb Says:
May 30th, 2009 at 12:47 am edit
Exactly what have I claimed that you need me to verify?
NGB 22 showing service in this millennia. Also, an MOS that shows Nurse. Or, any form, document, scrap of paper, hieroglyphics or other confirmation from someone NOT YOU, that shows you were ever a deserter. IVAW should have it on record since they verify all memberships, and none of your info shows you are.
Or something like that. He’s such an over-enunciating turd that it’s hard to tell. He literally sounds like a retarded Captain Kirk. “We must…..break free…(huge sigh)…of this….force….field….”
OK, still listening. He really is suffering brain damage.
Man, this just keeps getting funnier to me. This is what some chick he managed to snooker in with his bullshit has to say about the video:
He describes the underbelly of sexism and prostitution and how it’s messed him up. It emerges that he like a lot of US soldiers have been used as human guinea pigs in medical treatments.
This is quite a harrowing story and it’s real. It is the reality of what the US government is doing to its own young men and women.
Mathis is a brave man who has fought the US Government and won but not unscathed.
He has the brain of a guinea pig, he’s self medicating, it’s harrowing someone thinks this is real, he’s no man, and he didn’t win. But seriously, other than that some of the words are used correctly.
A coke head, prostitute raping moron says what they want to hear, and so they love him for it.
Good grief, fast forward to 20:30 and listen to him turn on the people there. You are right dickweed, if any of this happened, it wouldn’t be funny. What is funny is your complete inability to differentiate truth from fiction.
H/t to NYC Vet
Let’s say you joined IVAW and marched in the street advocating peace, love and unicorns for everyone. Let us further stipulate that in the name of peace you advocate the death of Gathering of Eagles members…
So, your own crazy ass group throws you to the curb. Hell, your group even issues an apology on your behalf. But then you apologize, and they say, “Ok, you are really a peaceful guy” and they let you back in….
How on earth can you follow that up? How about engaging in domestic violence against your wife?
An outspoken peace advocate and Iraq War veteran pleaded guilty Thursday, May 21, to harassing his wife.
Evan M. Knappenberger, 24, of Bellingham pleaded guilty to domestic violence harassment, a gross misdemeanor, at a hearing in Whatcom County Superior Court. He was sentenced to 30 days on work crew or work release.
[snip]
After an argument, his wife went into their bathroom and he followed her, sat down in front of its door and would not let her out until she called police, according to charging documents filed in Superior Court.Knappenberger is a member of the Bellingham chapter of the Iraq Veterans Against the War, has been a vocal advocate of nonviolence and ending the war in Iraq, and has organized rallies and protests against the war.
I’m guessing Karl Rove somehow framed his ass. Non-violent Peace activists seem rather violent at times, no?
Anyone else holding their breath waiting on the lengthy explanation from IVAW on how this isn’t his fault? I know I am. I’m guessing they will roll it in with the “Rick Duncan” apology tour.
Google alerts rock the monkey house. We are in your cheezhous, eating your brains!
UPDATE: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Savor the Peace. Relish the Peace. May the Peace wash over you. And now, a reading from Evan’s letter to the Washington Blogger.
Sam,
Eat [expletive deleted] applies to you too. I hope your family gets accidentally targeted by the US Army, a la Multinational Corps-Baghdad. I hope you accidentally get waterboarded knowing that your life is irrevocably changed by the political forces you contributed to. I hope you get to spend time huddling in a basement when the US Air Force starts dropping white phosphor in your neighborhood.
You have no idea what you are advocating. You are a coward and a fool. You can hide behind your journaling all you want, but someday you are going to wake up and see exactly how much of a coward and [expletive deleted] fool you are. If you have convictions, act on them. Otherwise you are as worthless as you are stupid.
Eat [expletive deleted],
And peace be onto you as well Evan.
Sam Taylor, we shall know your quality by the enemies you make. Congrats bud!