The folks at GuardiansoftheGreenBeret just recently published a case on David T. Eschenfelder.
Apparently he claimed to a few people on LinkedIn that he was a Green Beret in Vietnam. This sparked some skepticism due to Eschenfelder’s age.
Summary of Eschenfelder’s claims:
- Special Forces in Vietnam
- Served for 7 yrs, from 1970-76
- Served in Vietnam for one (1) yr, one (1) month, and three (3) days from 1972-73
- Was sheep-dipped by the U.S. Government to clean his background
- Awarded a Ranger tab. Back then it would have been a Black Beret
- Six (6) combat commendations
- 18B Special Forces Weapons Sergeant
The NPRC was contacted to get Eschenfelder’s military records and they provided this after conducting a search:
We can go through each and every claim but the claims based on military service are a non-starter if there can be no records located.
I wonder if that is because he was sheep-dipped?
Please visit this case over at the Guardians of the Green Beret to get more info. We merely skimmed the surface here.
Sounds like David wasn’t “sheep dipped” enough. He needs to have been sheep dipped…….and held under until he stopped moving.
Since we all know that Stolen Valor is the Rancid Cherry topping the Shit Sundae, one has to wonder what is in his civilian arrest record?
Yes, that process is for the super-duper secret squirrels. It is known as being deep sheep dipped.
Well, well, well…Top of the morning to you, you lying POS David T. Eschenfelder. Welcome to your soon to be expanded Google Fame. Been awhile since the Real Special Forces Troops of TAH have had a Green Bay Ray…err green bidet to chew on. Let me be the FIRST to congratulate you on being the FIRST lying POS for TAH Freak Week. Ain’t you special.
So apropos that you hit right here at the cusp of National Cancer Day (4 Feb) You and your ilk are a cancer standing in the blood and on the bodies of True Warriors. ESAD mofo!
Damn! Last paragraph fell out somehow. Let me also be the FIRST to call for the deployment of the Hemisphere of Insults for the lying piece of sh^t never served as Special Forces David T. Eschenfelder.
Can I get a SECOND and an AYE?
Segundo!
Aye!
OK Guys,
I have a few days of catching up to do but as I stated on the other thread, the HoI is ready and waiting so away we goooooo!!!
Well Davy-Boy, you wanted fame and fortune and recognition….well one outta three ain’t bad and you’re going to live forever on the Google and intrawebs thingie and a fake, a liar, a fraud a phony.
I hope you drown in it you rancid fuckface…
b> The Hemisphere of Insults®™
(aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
THREE PASS AIRCRAFT BOMB RUN!!!!!
DANGER CLOSE!!!!
MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
TAKE COVER!!!!!
… David (Davy-Poo) T(ittybaby). Eschenfelder (Shitfielder). …HEY DICKLESS WONDER, We all hope you read this and come back here and try to defend your actions, but, you won’t because, YOU’RE A STRAIGHT UP COWARD, vile, flaming piece of skunk shit, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, You flaccid piece of tofu, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, Fucking one cell spermatozoon with a tiny flagella, gaping giant ass walking fungus shit nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, Cambodian cunt sauce, he deserves to have his private parts gnawed by angry badgers, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, bucket of ass chum, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, if you Mom would have known you were going to turn out like this, she’d have prayed for a miscarriage, Diaper-Sniper, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, suck a big diseased gorilla dick and open those ass cheeks for the bull elephant that has been eyeing your lying ass, Poster-child for post birth abortion, Testicle face, This twat waffle is dumber than a bucket of goat piss, I pray thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O thou creature of the pit!, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection bunghole tonguer, Klootviool, Dude–even your balls are made of pussy, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, you’re the afterbirth that slithered out from your mother’s filth, you have always been picked last, you are a puck shot, catcher’s mitt double dribble field goal miss, you are the trash bag after a barracks/frat house party, the Stanley Cup could be your Mom’s dildo, I wish you were an EOD training power point presentation. Not the cool, highly trained bad ass EOD guys, the recipient, He’s more fucked up than a spotted Zebra, shirt-lifter, This guy stepped on his dick so hard it made mine hurt, when your Mom was pregnant with you, the dry cleaner used to charge her double for extra coat hangers. She had bad aim, If this wasn’t so sad, it would be as funny as watching a monkey try to fuck a football, I’m surprised he didn’t award himself a Purple Heart for stepping on his dick., Anus tonguing shit slurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching dick lips wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping dickchops, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, Cuntosaurus Rex, Bulbous Bleeding Batrachivorous Butthole Burrito, enjoys being attacked by and being sunk by meat torpedoes, Pudwhack,
I mean, what in the roll tide, only has sex with family after Nascar, butt chugging box wine, mushy meth mouth, mountain dew snorting, corn dog anal injecting, only listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd when making cornbread, fuck, is going on, Fucking less worthwhile, hairier, dirtier and uglier than Hillary Clinton’s taint, if this guy even *had* a woman, or any balls, he’d keep them in her purse anyway, failed fido fluffer in doggo pron, even using an entire jar of top quality, organic, gourmet, peanut butterIf you started fucking off today and kept fucking off until the sun burns out you still wouldn’t fuck off far enough to fuck off, Fuck you Fucksicle, You’re so fucked up that his imaginary friend took a Restraining Order out against him, This pissant is such a genius of monumental proportions he can skullfuck his own asshole, You man meat munching, spunk bubble blowing butt sponge, You are a disease, worse than a crotch tick, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper, Boy, you couldn’t lead a fresh turd down the bowl, Thinks that he is in the “dark” secret ops, not realizing that he has his head up his ass, You were born stupid and had a prolapse, In need of an appointment with a brass-knuckles Amateur Dentist, exposure to diseased posers is also known as “the Result of Cyclospora” with * “Symptoms of cyclospora include diarrhea and frequent, sometimes explosive bowel movements, according to the CDC.” I say, I say, That boy’s about as sharp as a sack o’ wet mice, Dear fucking 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus on a cement tricycle, banjo eyed, insignificant and inconsequentially ignorant imbecilic idiot, single strand DNA refugee from a blow job, not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, Unable to prevail against his one brained celled activity taking him over, so he types, talks, acts as if a retarded ghost possessed him. dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, Oh, fuck you sideways with a roll of horse liniment coated concertina wire…you sorry, miserable, posing, shit eating goat fucker, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion, got-damn cum drop, You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, hey douche bag, I bet your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, I heard you volunteered to go to the Middle East to take on terrorists…dressed as a goat, I believe you to be one of the few, proud pieces of shit that flies won’t fuck on, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, pigshit fungus, grubby little dick-beater, You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john, Connoisseur ,worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab,
Fuck you, you nutless chickenfuck cocksucking rat-bastard piece of roach shit! Eat a whole fucking ConEx full of dicks!, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee, Dude looks like he smells like hot dog water, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, maybe this hero could strap a suicide vest to himself, go out in the open desert and make people confetti out of himself, Wait, of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON??, He’s so much of a dickhead he takes Viagra thru a nasal spray, and he’s still limp, How I the fuck do assholes like this sleep at night? With one hand on their tiny dick and the other thumb in their ass, Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, A butter knife amongst razor blades, Rusty Trombone Virtuoso, he is the kinda guy who likes meeting up with two strange men so they can sword fight in his mouth, he’s the kind of guy you’d find hanging out around highway rest areas because he’s frequenting the public bathrooms trying to gargle marbles for change, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, fucknuckles, is about as real as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket, Menstrual quimsquirt, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, Knobgobble, prancing pony penis puffer, Likes to turn his mouth into a day care center with guys baby gravy behind the local truck stop, I hope his rectum is popped so hard, he will achieve liftoff on Mr. Tiny’s launch pad, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as an SBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, you should get dorked in the squeakhole with the Barbed Cock of Satan, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, putrid barrel of fermenting manatee prostatic fluid, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) (Not Colonel Potter but if he’d have thought about it, he’d have said it. ) one giant pile of Moose marbles, Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, People like this make me wanna hatefuck a dumpster, on fire and then give sloppy seconds to a menstruating porcupine , Shit-Slot Cosmonaut, Proper Daft Cunt, you thought you had a hair on your dick until it peed, zombies would take one look at you and walk the other direction, Do you know who has more friends and is more popular than you? The Shit Pool at Kandahar Airfield Afghanistan, he has less brains than a bony eared assfish if he thought he would continue to get away with his bullshit, Fair suck of the sav, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, he is just a rock with lips rocking the dick head look, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes,
He looks like the kind of guy that really needs to take a bath…with a toaster. baby cave, analconda, Grade A chode yodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, you were born after your Dad cream-pied her asshole then finger fucked her vagina, your “heroic “ career is less believable than UFOs, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, you are the poster child for ED, when I want to terrorize my children, I tell YOU are under their bed, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid, Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid, you emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid, nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, a black hole would spit you out, the founding fathers said all men are created equal….except for you, you make scientists contemplate the possibility that there’s a negative IQ number, if you an 2 other guys ran a race together, you’d come in fourth, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, You make PTSD/TBI look like a state fair, a 3 ring circus and Disneyland all rolled into one, likes to gargle with a mouthful of unborn crib midgets, He can shit and fall in it as far as I am concerned(This one is for the Ladies and Medical Staff) this prancing fairy is about as popular as a failed Episiotomy with a 4th degree perineal tear, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Deputy executive assistant jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, turbo douche & enema nozzle, mental midget, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, 100 retarded monkeys could jerk off in a stagnant swamp and generate a better life form than you, You are about as useful as a knitted condom,
if I had the taste of you in my mouth, I’d lick the taint of a dead rotting water buffalo in the Vietnamese jungle just to get the taste out, just to fix your shit, you could make a Jew deny the Holocaust, consuming connoisseur of the chocolate starfish, Cocksucking Catfish, anal & vaginal prolapse, giant anal Q-Tip, this freak fancies himself performing fellatio on a variety of pinnapeds, He went all vaginal. You *never* go all vaginal, fucked himself faster than a horny chihuahua by lying about his Military Service, you are the reason Jesus can’t play peek-a-boo, he has holes in his hands, you are a 0 EPR/OPR, you are worse than a Dishonorable Discharge….from your Mom’s vagina, Massive, back alley, bucket of schlong fuck juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut, Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, you’re such an embarrassment to your family and your father is so ashamed of you, he’d refuse a free blowjob out of fear of further spilling his seed, Forrest Gump points and laughs at you, you suck so bad, AIDS and Cancer have nightmares about you, your shit is about as funny as Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Terri Schiavo having an orgy in the showers at Auschwitz, you suck so bad, puppies, kittens and babies hate you, you are so loathsome, looks like the kind of guy who lets his wife gets her shit pushed in by Mr. Ouch while he watches, Gandhi would ass rape you for giggles, you are about as welcome as a yeast infection, hemorrhoids, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, genital wards and herpes, you’re one of the reasons Trump is President, you make God want a do-over, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby,Rear Admiral of the Butt Piracy, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, deep sea crotch lobster, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee Ermey, R.I.P), Not a Veteran, Not Military Not a GOT-DAMN thing, NOTHING!! so then, NOT Special Forces in Vietnam, NO service, Zero, None, zilch, nada, definitely not 7 yrs, from 1970-76, NOT in Vietnam for one (1) yr, one (1) month, and three (3) days from 1972-73, NOPE!!, NOT sheep-dipped by the U.S. Government to clean his background, 9ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?), did NOT earn the following and I repeat NOT!!, a Ranger tab and therefore not a Black Beret, did NOT have Six (6) combat commendations and was totally NOT a 18B Special Forces Weapons Sergeant, WTF< Did you think you were on the A-Team Too Mr T?!?!, you are worse than the Devil’s Hemorrhoids, TOTALLY a retarded, soul patch ball dusting, burn pit of worthlessness, you know the old saying “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water?” You would be the exception, he can go fuck a hill of dildos, you’re so fugly, you could make the Sun go down and not want to come up again, you make people that know you, want ass cancer, you make Hillary Clinton’s vagina look attractive, should be blowing everyone in cell block D and taking it up the ass, simultaneously from everyone in cell block C, You fucking LAND WALRUS, shit snorting stain on Hillary Clinton’s yeast infected kootchie covers, you’re lucky we don’t dress you up in drag, drop your ass off somewhere in the Middle East and let an entire battalion of ISIS soldiers and supporters butt rape you until you’re turned inside out, remember that story in the news a while back about a guy that was arrested for fucking his girlfriend’s dog that had been dead for a few days, in front of a daycare center? Yeah, you’re worse than that guy, you make child rape and crib death seem funny, you are such a fuckgasim, you’d leave Don Rickles speechless, you could make Goodwill, the Salvation Army and the Red Cross give you the finger, You make your own Mother cry on Mother’s Day,
you’re the reason proctologists are a thing, seeing you frolicking around in all your finery makes me understand why Abba wrote the song Dancing Queen, I’d rather watch AFRTS than see this guy’s shit on the Internet, if you were a planet, you’d be Uranus, YOU are the reason monkeys throw poop, you stupid toilet mint licker, Hitler wishes he had you as a mentor because now he feels like a failure, you weak-kneed no-load pus-nuts pisspants needle-dicked cockroach-fucking slug-licking bucket of lying cockroach shit!, Ball Basting Boy Wondor, What an oily little meatgazer, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Impacted breaching turtle head, Rumpleforeskin, parasite on society, What in the bipolar fuck, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tapping glory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, pisses off more people than the clackers on an abacus, prepare your anus, karma is going in dry, You are a moron. A window pane licking, urinal cake eating, lying moron, YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, I heard you were created via frozen embryo, you must have thawed, obstreperous shit-whistle,what’s gross, a truckload of dead babies, what’s grosser than gross, a truckload of dead babies with a live one in the middle trying to eat its way out, what is more disgusting than that? You, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, needle dick buttfucker, Putz, rectal inspector, this swollen, sweltering manhole should be infected with herpegonasyphilaids, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Fiction-flinging Richard Gere’s Ass Gerbil Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian bag of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, You couldn’t make a point if someone gave you a pencil sharpener, should be pounded in the poop hole with a turret of a M1 Abrams, and then fired a WP round therein, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt, And a new addition thanks to Sarge I hereby introduce you to the ALPHABET ASSAULT:
Annoying asinine Ampharos asshole assistant to APL; bulimic ballsack biting butt buddy at Brucie’s Bathhouse (entrance in the rear); chronic cocksucking clymidiacic chickenfucking cretin; dumbass dumbshit dickguzzling dimwitted douchebag; erratic earwax eating enema expert; fowl felching monkeyfucking ferret fluffing Uncle Fester look-alike; gregarious gangrene carrying Grinch; hypocrtical hippo humping hackeysack full of horse shit; idiotic inbred imbecile with a low IQ and impotence issues; jumping jackass with jockey shorts full of jellyfish jism; kooky kommunistic klown kitty fucking knave; lying loathsome limpdick lillylivered lazyass llama blowing loser; manmeat mooching meatslapping moosecock muncher;
no good ninja nippled needlenutted nobody; obsolete overfucked octopus orgy observer; penis pumping pee filled poster child for proper prophelactic usage; queasy queef quaffing quantum horsesqueeze; ratt fucking rump ranger who plays the rusty trombone; Shit surping semen burping dick sucking sorry sonavabitch with syphilis; taint ticking test subject for tits on men at Tiny’s Truck Stop; unclefucking ugly ass unborn umbilical discharge; valor Vulture and volunteer for vile vaginal discharge vacuum duty, wanks to blue waffle porn while waiting for winos to blow at the aforemention truck stop; useful as an upset ugly unicorn uterus; yodleing yellowbellied yak yanker; zipper gazing zealot with zits on his zero inch dick. Fuck off, eat shit, die in a fire.
If any of this offends you, I’m sorry. If something here *doesn’t* offend you, I’m not trying hard enough!
We now include the NEW & IMPROVED
OFFICIAL TAH BINGO CARD®™
/FREE with every deployment of an equal or greater value The Hemisphere of Insults®™
https://imgur.com/nGqi3aR
FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
Can I get an AMEN?! (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
Here endeth the lesson.
Oh and one time Blake Morgan said: “ I swear I was hearing “O Beautiful for spacious skies… For amber waves of grain” playing as I was reading this…. “
So without further ado, here is a link to the New York Orchestra performing America the Beautiful, at Carnegie Hall, for your listening pleasure, if you want a musical accompaniment to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HgeYRROlk8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxXdE7pBTjQ
AEFFINGMEN!!!! ALL HAIL CHIPNASA AND THE HOI!!! ALL HAIL
Cocksucker.
Boom!
That better not be the coveted always earned, never given NDSM he’s got on his chest in that photo. National defenders assemble! We have to avenge
The NDSM Defamation League has been alerted.
As the song goes, [NDSM] Clan Ain’t Nuthing ta F’ Wit.
Total phony with zero days of service…
Doesn’t come close to the Gunga Dan Line because he never played to begin with…
* David T. Eschenfelder graduated in 1974 from Capt Shreve High School (Shreveport, LA) where he was a Corporal in ROTC and a member of the Gator Band. Found his Senior High School Portrait. He was 18 years old (born January 1956).
* Was heavily involved with Civil War history, especially the Confederate Army and in 1974 was a member of the Betty Youree Chapter of the Children of the Confederacy.
* In October 1978, the Shreveport Journal had a story about him where he and his friend claimed they encountered BIG FOOT. There is a picture showing him and his friend FLEEING BIG FOOT (BIGFOOT is NOT in the picture).
* At one time in the late 1980s, he and his wife were in the Porcelain Rose Making Business in Shreveport.
That is just a FEW tidbits about Ole David. He probably considers himself a Viet of the Nam Times Veteran because he was a member of a High School ROTC.
I like his story about fleeing BIGFOOT better.
*grin*
“…Was heavily involved with Civil War history, especially the Confederate Army…”
He was a Gray Beret and served in a CIDG (Confederate Irregular Defense Group) camp leading Cherokee highland tribesmen to defeat NYA (Northern Yankee Army) infiltration from across the Oklahoma Border…
Here little David is in 1970 when he was supposedly runnin’ and gunnin’ with the Green Beret in Viet of the Nam.
Davey’s first war story: “This one time at Band Camp, we were out in the woods, a night, and we heard a banging sound on trees. My best buddy, Willie, the tuba player, said it was Big Foot. After we wet our pants, we ran screaming all the way back to our camp counselor. And that’s no shit!”
I would imagine the narrative to be more along the lines of two assclowns tossing salad in the woodline.
LA Vet License Plates? Interesting.I actually feel bad for his son, most likely having heard the BS stories all of his life. Of course, this is only my humble opinion.
Hold on, pump the brakes. Photographic evidence has emerged that David Eschenfelder WAS in Special Forces. In his 1973 High School yearbook when he was a Junior, he is listed with the Drill Team as a Special Forces medic.
Pentagon done effed up; it plumb forgot to “sheep-dip” this picture…
I guess Eschenfelder made a typo when he claimed to be a 18B instead of a 18D (SF Medical Sergeant). LMAO
And I thought you could actually be civil. I guess we’re both disappointed.
SFC D – can’t be disappointed if you don’t expect too much of those types.
Just sayin’.
The bar wasn’t set very high, GB.
LOL
David T. Eschenfelder is not a veteran.
David T. Eschenfelder did not serve in Viet Nam.
David T. Eschenfelder is a liar.
David T. Eschenfelder is not to be trusted around women, children, or animals.
David T. Eschenfelder is a phony as a $3 bill.
David T. Eschenfelder did not go through Special Forces training.
David T. Eschenfelder did not earn any color of beret.
David T. Eschenfelder has less of a claim on being a Viet Nam Era vet than I do (JROTC in 1968) and I ain’t squat, militarily.
David T. Eschenfelder is not going to enjoy his well-earned Goooogle Fame, but he brought it on himself.
Go pound sand, David T. Eschenfelder.
Graybeard,
I didn’t have enough coffee this morning and didn’t copy your message, did you say:
David T. Eschenfelder is not a veteran.
David T. Eschenfelder did not serve in Viet Nam.
David T. Eschenfelder is a liar.
David T. Eschenfelder is not to be trusted around women, children, or animals.
David T. Eschenfelder is a phony as a $3 bill.
David T. Eschenfelder did not go through Special Forces training.
David T. Eschenfelder did not earn any color of beret.
David T. Eschenfelder has less of a claim on being a Viet Nam Era vet than I do (JROTC in 1968) and I ain’t squat, militarily.
David T. Eschenfelder is not going to enjoy his well-earned Goooogle Fame, but he brought it on himself.
Thanks!
Graybeard to Sarge,
Your copy is correct:
David T. Eschenfelder is not a veteran.
David T. Eschenfelder did not serve in Viet Nam.
David T. Eschenfelder is a liar.
David T. Eschenfelder is not to be trusted around women, children, or animals.
David T. Eschenfelder is a phony as a $3 bill.
David T. Eschenfelder did not go through Special Forces training.
David T. Eschenfelder did not earn any color of beret.
David T. Eschenfelder has less of a claim on being a Viet Nam Era vet than I do (JROTC in 1968) and I ain’t squat, militarily.
David T. Eschenfelder is not going to enjoy his well-earned Goooogle Fame, but he brought it on himself.
Go pound sand, David T. Eschenfelder.
5x5x5
(((OVER)))
So, what you’re saying is:
David T. Eschenfelder is not a veteran.
David T. Eschenfelder did not serve in Viet Nam.
David T. Eschenfelder is a liar.
David T. Eschenfelder is not to be trusted around women, children, or animals.
David T. Eschenfelder is a phony as a $3 bill.
David T. Eschenfelder did not go through Special Forces training.
David T. Eschenfelder did not earn any color of beret.
David T. Eschenfelder has less of a claim on being a Viet Nam Era vet than I do (joined in 91) and I ain’t squat, militarily.
David T. Eschenfelder is not going to enjoy his well-earned Goooogle Fame, but he brought it on himself.
Go pound sand, David T. Eschenfelder.
5x5x5
(((OVER)))
He also claims to have been “Commission Lt. Col. in the Alabama State Militia”.
Note how he spelled the Rank of a Lieutenant Colonel in the US Army. “Lt. Col.”
The US Army uses “LTC”, not “Lt. Col.”
Another sad case of someone who has a Brain Hiccup and lives in an Alternate Reality World.
🤔
Well, the US Army abbreviates the 05 rank as LTC, but maybe Cletus Spucker’s Trailer Park Militia does things differently?
Is the Lt. Col the one who brings the moonshine or the one who plays the jug? I’m pretty sure the Colonel of the Regiment is the one who has a full set of teeth.
I know no one is ragging on them, but please Do not confuse the Alabama State Militia with the Alabama State Defense Force. The ASDF is an official part of the Alabama Military Command and is under the command of the Governor of Alabama, and The Adjutant General of the State of Alabama. It is legit. These guys and gals work for no pay and provide all of their own equipment to help their neighbors and their communities. Usually, it’s little things like traffic and crowd control at an event, sometimes a SAR, but they’re also called on when the SHTF. During Katrina, the GSDF worked out of Dobbins AFB and helped receive over 2500 injured and sick evacuees from the Gulf area. I know, because I was there.
To my knowledge, this “Alabama State Militia” is not an official State Militia.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alabama_State_Defense_Force
Guess I should have said “was”. What a stupid waste of resources.
https://web.archive.org/web/20131217171819/http://www.examiner.com/article/alabama-bureaucrats-squander-away-alabama-state-defense-force
Georgia’s DF is still going strong.
http://www.gasdf.com/
Bubblehead Ray:
Thank You for sharing all of this.
Awesome.
Just fucking awesome.
ninja, I did some reconnoitering on the Alabama State Defense Force (State Militia).
Per Wikipedia, it appears that they had an authorized strength of 1,000 members. As of November 2013, it was stood down. After the Alabama State Defense Force was disbanded, some of its former members formed the Alabama Volunteers. As of January 2019, over six years since the temporary suspension began, the state of Alabama has not yet finished its reorganization of the Alabama State Defense Force.
One of the things I always found interesting, was that most individuals claiming to belong to state militias, also claimed to have officer ranks. Never heard of one that claimed to be just an EM. Who does the grunt work?? (grin)
They did have a cool patch, though.
David T. Eschenfelder, you ain’t chit!
https://web.archive.org/web/20131022025517/http://sdf.alabama.gov/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alabama_State_Defense_Force
Thank You for the information, Sky!
This is what he claims:
“Commission as Lt. Col. of the Alabama State Militia Governor, State of Alabama”
“Commissioned Honorary Lt. Col. Alabama State Militia for archaeological research and Preservation of sites and artifacts from Confederate defenses surrounding Mobile Bay.”
He wrote it as “Lt. Col.”, so he was probably commissioned in the Alabama State Militia Air Force…
CH:
I don’t think there is an “Alabama State Militia Air Force”.
Yes, I am aware how the Air Force addresses O5s.
The point I was trying to make was that he claimed to have served in the US Army. The majority of folks who serve or have served in the US Army knows an O5 is a “LTC”, not a “Lt Col”.
I was being sarcastic; I should have put the (sarc) at the end of my sentence… 😉
Thank You, CH for the clarification!
😎🤗
It’s Monday morning and no Seal phonies today. What’s going on??????
Nancy Pelosi is a crusty old incompetent hypocritical skank and AOC is a clueless dumbass.
There, you feel better?
He does look a little like the Bernath of recent fame here on TAH…..
I wonder if he has his piloting skills up to snuff…. As it were…..
Someone just needs to pimp slap this queef.
David T. Eschenfelder is another outed employee that works as a “towel fluffer” at Brucies Bath House (Entrance in the Rear).
Another one of his many claims:
“SCV War Service Medal Vietnam”
“The SCV War Service Medal is reserved for Members of the Sons of Confederate Veterans who have served Honorably in the various Military Conflicts in service of the United States of America. Form DD214 is required for consideration.”
Another Claim:
“UDC Cross of Military Service Vietnam Conflict”
“The Highest Award presented by the United Daughters of the Confederacy, the Cross of Military Service, an outgrowth of the Southern Cross of Honor, is awarded to United States Military Veterans who are lineal descendants of Confederate soldiers, sailors and marines and who themselves have served Honorably in the Military Services of the United States in World Wars I and II, the Korean War, Vietnam Conflict and the Global War on Terrorism. Form DD214 is required.”
CROSS OF MILITARY SERVICE
The Cross of Military Service, an outgrowth of the Southern Cross of Honor, is presented to veterans of World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam Conflict and the Global War on Terror who are lineal blood descendants of Confederate military personnel.
Even though he did serve in Korea, he doesn’t qualify for the CROSS OF MILITARY SERVICE because it was only awarded to those whom served in Korea during the following dates:
“Korean War Cross of Military Service is for service between 27 June 1950 and 11 November 1955, in Korean or on land / in airspace / in waters contiguous to Korea”, per the following site.
http://www.rdonmcleod.org/military-service-awards.html
Guess since David T. Eschenfelder couldn’t grow a pair, he decided to manually inflated them.
“…Even though he did serve in Korea, he doesn’t qualify for the CROSS OF MILITARY SERVICE because it was only awarded to those whom served in Korea during the following dates…”
Eschenfelder is a complete phony with zero days of military service. I think you are referring to Warren Reiten in the other post, who did serve in Korea in 68-69 but lied about serving in Vietnam…
My bad Combat Historian. Had too many TAH pages open.
Thanks for the correction.
Someone’s getting their phony’s mixed up in their head. 😉
Wow.
Check out his many College Degrees:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-t-eschenfelder-ph-d-008435102
Am now wondering if he really has a PhD or a Masters or even a Bachelors Degree.
He forgot to add to his claims that he FLED FROM BIGFOOT.
Next thing you know, he will be on History Channel’s “Ancient Aliens” explaining that Beings From Other Planets initiated the War Between the States or that he is Bobby Lee reincarnated.
😎😉
P.S. As noted before, I ENJOY watching “Ancient Aliens”.
It IS entertaining.
😎😉
Hey ninja, maybe he get in bed with this guy if he lands the gig. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giorgio_A._Tsoukalos
😆😅😄🤣😂!!!
He claims to have fled from Bigfoot. What’s next, a claim that he got bit by the Loch Ness Monster?
I wonder if his various professional reports that he wrote for clients were phony.
We should ask “Phony” Phil Monkress.
Well, I’ll just be damned! Ladies you are going to have to pardon me for a moment. This lying, mofo’ing, piece of sh^t, sumbitch has done pissed in my cheese grits AND got into my lane. Had to make a provision run and play catch up on what I missed. Where do I start?
I’ve made no secret about my work with various Veterans Groups, Historical Societies, ie; SCV, SUV, SAR, DAR, UDC, CoC, Re-enactment, and Living History Organizations. I hold a legitimate appointment from a Past Guv of the State of Georgia as a Colonel of Militia. I also hold that same elected rank in a Georgia State (Confederate) and a Pennsylvania State (Federal) Re-enactment Unit. I wear a Gray or Blue Uniform and sing Dixie and The Star Spangled Banner with EQUAL ENTHUSIASM! I have coordinated and Commanded Events from as small as 6 people on into the thousands. I have been a consultant and an extra for Hollyweird Movies, done interviews for broadcast, helped produce books on the WBTS and am an international reach magazine. And all that AND $10.00 will get me the All Star Breakfast at any Waffle House in the State. Go past the Big Chicken. I have mentored massive amounts of kids not only in the CofC, but in any number of other groups. This piece of sh^t, David T. Eschenfelder is in no way like any of them. One of the requirements for being in the CofC is maintaining the truth in all things. I know of older ladies in the UDC that would wash David T. Eschenfelder lying mouth out with soap, and know of a large number of younger UDC Ladies that would bitch slap him back to 1861.
Eff you ass hamster. Rocking your lies in Alabama cause you got run out of Louisiana? You are probably one of the ones that show up at a re-enactment, look around to see who is there, goes back to your truck and gets the next highest rank out of the briefcase and attaches it to the velcro on your uniform. You are as fake as a Civil War issue polyester wool blanket. Met a lot like you. You have now brought dishonor down on your Mother, Grandmother, and your Confederate Ancestor, all of which were most probably honorable people. If you are currently a member of the SCV, you won’t be for long. National Headquarters frowns on dishonorable pieces of sh^t. May nor even need your membership #, the name of David T. Eschenfelder ain’t exactly as common as Joe Johnson.
Eat sh^t and die Sissy Punk!
David T.Eschenfelder NEVER served in the US Army according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder looks like he enjoys cruising highway rest areas in a windowless van in search of a date.
David T. Eschenfelder is likely a reject Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear).
David T. Eschenfelder is as genuine as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket.
David T. Eschenfelder was never a Green Beret according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder NEVER attended the US Army Ranger School according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder NEVER served in Vietnam according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder is APL material.
David T. Eschenfelder looks like he should NEVER be left alone around Women and/or Children.
David T. Eschenfelder would fit right in with a certain group in Elko NV.
David T. Eschenfelder WAS NEVER part of ANY US Army Ranger Unit.
David T. Eschenfelder will now wallow in Internet fame as David T. Eschenfelder gains The Power of Google ®™️!
How copy,
((((OVER))))
You don’t say!
David T.Eschenfelder NEVER served in the US Army according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder looks like he enjoys cruising highway rest areas in a windowless van in search of a date.
David T. Eschenfelder is likely a reject Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear).
David T. Eschenfelder is as genuine as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket.
David T. Eschenfelder was never a Green Beret according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder NEVER attended the US Army Ranger School according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder NEVER served in Vietnam according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder is APL material.
David T. Eschenfelder looks like he should NEVER be left alone around Women and/or Children.
David T. Eschenfelder would fit right in with a certain group in Elko NV.
David T. Eschenfelder WAS NEVER part of ANY US Army Ranger Unit.
David T. Eschenfelder will now wallow in Internet fame as David T. Eschenfelder gains The Power of Google ®™️!
Clear copy,
((((OVER))))
I copy:
David T.Eschenfelder NEVER served in the US Army according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder looks like he enjoys cruising highway rest areas in a windowless van in search of a date.
David T. Eschenfelder is likely a reject Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear).
David T. Eschenfelder is as genuine as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket.
David T. Eschenfelder was never a Green Beret according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder NEVER attended the US Army Ranger School according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder NEVER served in Vietnam according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder is APL material.
David T. Eschenfelder looks like he should NEVER be left alone around Women and/or Children.
David T. Eschenfelder would fit right in with a certain group in Elko NV.
David T. Eschenfelder WAS NEVER part of ANY US Army Ranger Unit.
David T. Eschenfelder will now wallow in Internet fame as David T. Eschenfelder gains The Power of Google ®™️
Good copy,
((((OVER))))
API, I copy
David T.Eschenfelder NEVER served in the US Army according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder looks like he enjoys cruising highway rest areas in a windowless van in search of a date.
David T. Eschenfelder is likely a reject Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear).
David T. Eschenfelder is as genuine as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket.
David T. Eschenfelder was never a Green Beret according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder NEVER attended the US Army Ranger School according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder NEVER served in Vietnam according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder is APL material.
David T. Eschenfelder looks like he should NEVER be left alone around Women and/or Children.
David T. Eschenfelder would fit right in with a certain group in Elko NV.
David T. Eschenfelder WAS NEVER part of ANY US Army Ranger Unit.
David T. Eschenfelder will now wallow in Internet fame as David T. Eschenfelder gains The Power of Google ®™️!
((((OVER))))
THAT is correct:
David T.Eschenfelder NEVER served in the US Army according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder looks like he enjoys cruising highway rest areas in a windowless van in search of a date.
David T. Eschenfelder is likely a reject Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in the Rear).
David T. Eschenfelder is as genuine as a Civil War Issue polyester blanket.
David T. Eschenfelder was never a Green Beret according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder NEVER attended the US Army Ranger School according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder NEVER served in Vietnam according to records found.
David T. Eschenfelder is APL material.
David T. Eschenfelder looks like he should NEVER be left alone around Women and/or Children.
David T. Eschenfelder would fit right in with a certain group in Elko NV.
David T. Eschenfelder WAS NEVER part of ANY US Army Ranger Unit.
David T. Eschenfelder will now wallow in Internet fame as David T. Eschenfelder gains The Power of Google ®™️!
Good copy,
((((OVER))))
This dude got some nerve…never served, yet calls out a National Guard dude and telling him he didn’t see any action.
His whole conversation about “declassified” is pure comedy. Was he drunk when he wrote this?