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Bill Hightower; phony SEAL

by Jonn Lilyea••80

Our partners at Military Phonies share their work on this Bill Hightower fellow who claims to be a Navy SEAL on his Facebook Page;

He also claims to be a Navy Chief on LinkedIn, even though he can’t spell the rank;

He goes all secret squirrel when confronted;

Well, he was in the Navy and he served on the Gearing-class destroyer USS Bailey (DD-713) but the ship was in Charleston, South Carolina the entire time he was assigned according to her logs.

Based on Hightower’s FOIA Summary Sheet, it shows that he did just under 4 years of active duty in the Navy and not the 48 + years that he claimed. Bill was discharged as a Seaman Recruit (SR) E-1 vs. his claim of being a Chief (E-7).

There is no record of Bill Hightower attending BUD/S, NO jump school, and NO SEAL Command.

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80 thoughts on “Bill Hightower; phony SEAL”

  1. Hey, wait: Is that a rifle in his hand? Wonder if he was convicted of those felonies? Felon is possession of a firearm is not a good thing.

    1. Yep.

      Another 4-year, E-1 Shitbag.

      Surprised he does not have some faded tattoos on the unbelievably large biceps.

    2. Yep, another loser migrated to Florida after going to school in Michigan and other places. Sometimes I regret that this is such a nice place. If it were a shitty place it wouldn’t attract so damned many losers.

  4. Maybe someone wiser in the language of “LEO/Court speak” can enlighten me —

    Do the charges involving a 16 y/o girl mean he was whacking off in front of her or he was showing her his package?

    2. Depends upon the degree level of the crime, and by the way state law defines that particular crime.
      Sexual Conduct, in most cases, involves sexual activity without intercourse; wherein he fondled or had the victim fondle him, he was seen to be “pleasuring his nasty self” in front of the victim, or flashed the victim, etc.
      Whereas in Minnesota, as an example, the Sexual Conduct is 1st, 2nd, or 3rd Degree level, where each has it’s list of criteria that needs to be present during the act for a proper charge to be made.

    3. That’s sure what it sounds like. However like Mark, my experience is in MN statutes, which are a confusing mess.

  5. Not only does he have a meat gazer’s grin, he’s all flabby and pasty with a big head just like the bony eared assfish that he is. Oh yeah, he’s a ticklemonster as well and IMHO those damn things are usually better off dead.

  6. Bill “Low Basement” Hightower spent almost four years in the Navy and achieved the highly coveted rank of E-1 and was awarded an NDSM.

    They don’t just hand that stuff to you.

  7. I left Bill J. Hightower, NOT A SEAL, some love in a facebook message:
    “Usually when I message a phony, rather than take my advice, they block me on Facebook, probably thinking that it will make it all go away. It will not. There is a link below. At that link, every one who comments will initiate a google reference about you,. When anyone wants to look you up, they will see you as the shitstain that you are. Less than 4 years in the navy, on a Destroyer that didn’t cruise, getting out with the rank of Recruit E-1, and then being so fucking dumb that you claim SEAL? Claim E-7? You are a piece of work and surely not smart enough to click on the link, and go there to try to unfuck yourself. Blocking me will only prove what we already know about you.
    https://www.azuse.cloud/?p=79271“

  11. Suggesting a pounding for this obnoxious inflated, pustulent, creeping, oozing sore stuck on humanity’s ass is what I would normally do.

    However, a pounding is, I think, insufficient. I’d prefer the Mountain of Insults, if ChipNASA can get up from his chair and foist it upon us. It’s getting heavy, you know.

    I move that this hideous THING lower than Satan’s backward hooves get that award. Anyone want to second the motion?

        1. Happy Monday dickweeds.

          The NEW & IMPROVED Mountain of Insults®™ is coming…..and we’re going to be dropping it on gold old Billy Hightower.

          All conditions have been met per TAH Robert’s Rules annnnnndddddd away we GO!!

          Mountain of Insults®™
          (aka, “This Ain’t Hell” Thesaurus)
          FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
          TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
          TWO PASS AIRCRAFT BOMB RUN!!!!!
          DANGER CLOSE!!!!
          MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
          TAKE COVER!!!!!
          Bill “You have *GOT* to be FUCKING High” Hightower NOT a SEAL, vile, flaming piece of skunk shit, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, HOLY Baby Ape Shit Breath, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, You flaccid piece of tofu, Simply a fart in life waiting to be fabreezed away, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, DILLY DILLY!!, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, Fucking one cell spermatozoon with a tiny flagella, gaping giant ass walking fungus shit nugget, Bag of seasoned dog shit, Cambodian cunt sauce, Anyone who ever loved you was wrong, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, JERK OFF !!, Soup Sandwich, you’re such a pussy, when you get a haircut they charge you for a bikini wax, suck a big diseased gorilla dick and open those ass cheeks for the bull elephant that has been eyeing your lying ass, Poster-child for abortion, This twat waffle is dumber than a bucket of goat piss, I pray thou shalt be pursued into the mountains by sex-mad baboons, O thou creature of the pit!, If you are married, The only thing your wife wants for Christmas is a folded flag, Dick Swallowing Jerk Wad Spooge Sampling cum gobbling parasitic infection bunghole tonguer, Klootviool, should be ass raped and tea-bagged, at the same time, by a Rabid Rhinoceros, you were the kid that had to sit alone at lunchtime, you’re the afterbirth that slithered out from your mother’s filth, He’s more fucked up than a spotted Zebra, shirt-lifter, If this wasn’t so sad, it would be as funny as watching a monkey try to fuck a football, Anus tonguing shitslurping fuckwitted hemorrhoid munching dick lips wanktoaster, pud-knuckling pus-nuts, farting dive bubble cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping dickchops, Sloshing bucket of Hippo Diarrhea, short strand DNA ‘tard, a bathroom selfie loser, fake “death stare” makes you look like a semen sucking cum vampire on his way to a flying J truck stop hobo ball sac buffet, Cuntosaurus Rex, Bulbous Bleeding Batrachivorous Butthole Burrito, This pissant is such a genius of monumental proportions he can skullfuck his own asshole, You man meat munching, spunk bubble blowing butt sponge, You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper, banjo eyed, insignificant and inconsequentially ignorant imbecilic idiot, single strand DNA refugee from a blow job, not worthy to lick taint lint off my cats backside, dickwad that can’t make a good seal on Tupperware, Buttcrackiula, tit, You look like the product of an orgy at a family reunion, got-damn cum drop, You’re funnier than a sock full of frogs and tougher than a jar of marshmallow crème, Sharmouta, hey douche bag, I bet your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, as worthless as a Toyota airbag, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, meat-gazing walrus fart hamster queef that should have stayed a tittyfuck cumstain in the back seat of an AMC Pacer, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass,
          I believe you to be one of the few, proud pieces of shit that flies won’t fuck on, You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die, needle dick bug fucker, wad of fungus on a pile of roach turd, Drongo, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, pigshit fungus, grubby little dick-beater, You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john, Connoisseur ,worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, jejeongsin-iya?, whore-hopping fecal wart, Soppspiste Pitbulkukkforhud, stench-ridden, Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled, shiftless, monkey-buggerer, petrified shit biscuit, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, ignoble itching buttcrack, You’re the reason God created Irritable Bowel Syndrome, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, lickspittle, useless bag of monkey fuck, dickbutt, rectum circling colon goblin, Asshole casserole, Vafanculo, Nut hugger, People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore, salad tosser, gonorrheatic urethral cliff diver, smeerlap, fud, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, You look like something I’d draw with my left hand, Mayor Grundle Butter of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, Holy cupcake munching monkeys, clitwart, cuntscab, Fuck you, you nutless chickenfuck cocksucking rat-bastard piece of roach shit! Eat a whole fucking ConEx full of dicks!, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, malodorous odiferous felonious fido fucker, snowball, Coprophagous fop, Gonorrhea breath, swizzle tits, giggling beerflecked canker blossom, how did you survive infancy, rectal rapee, GonnoSyphaHerpaClapAIDS Patient Zero monkey buggerer, ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, R2-Dildo, You suck dick for beer money and you don’t even drink beer, secret squirrel masturbation specialist, hand in your badge, Adolf, you fart repeatedly just to make yourself smell better, spunk-trumpet, Bakrauf, face down ass up weak kneed pillow biter, wait of all the lucky sperms that came outta your daddy, you’re the one that WON?? Holy shit, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting, Pissflap, you’re as useful as Anne Frank’s Drum Set, overzealous polyp burglar, poser quim squirt, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, Fustilarian, less popular than a Cheese and Veggie Omelet MRE, You are so full of shit, your ears stink, I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral, butt-pirate, as popular as an SBD fart in church on a packed house Sunday, you should get dorked in the squeakhole with the Barbed Cock of Satan, toadstool slime-inhaling dick-drizzling sludge, putrid barrel of fermenting manatee prostatic fluid, prodigious jenkem huffer, You’re a dirty coffee mug on a Monday morning filled to the brim with steaming frothy panther piss, Asparagus-dick, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, You’re dumber than snake mittens, Wooden dildo, assplow, Piss Whistle, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, lintlicker, Wino sphincter/ballsack coinesseur, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Stronzo, Pie-Faced Crotch Pheasant, Road apple, Mule muffins, Buffalo bagels, Beaver biscuits, pony pucks & Pigeon pellets (Shout out to M*A*S*H Col. Potter) , Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, manpleaser, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, People like this make me wanna hatefuck a dumpster, on fire and then give sloppy seconds to a menstruating porcupine , Shit-Slot Cosmonaut, Proper Daft Cunt,

          1. Do you know who has more friends and is more popular than you? The Shit Pool at Kandahar Airfield Afghanistan, he has less brains than a bony eared assfish if he thought he would continue to get away with his bullshit, Fair suck of the sav, is so unimaginably and extraordinarily vapid and mindlessly stupid that he could get lost in an elevator, Meretricious, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, he is just a rock with lips rocking the dick head look, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, He looks like the kind of guy that really needs to take a bath…with a toaster. baby cave, analconda, Grade A chode yodeler, tittilating scrotalator pole smoker, Vaginal Sand Fairy, Drollenpijper, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, feral abacus, leg humper, You look like you were conceived through anal, meadow muffin, ax wound drippings, you’re such a loser, when you spank your little wee-wee, your hand falls asleep, horse squeeze Ball Cheese, when I saw this sperm receptacle, soggy biscuit eater, my eyes rolled so hard I saw my own brain stem, I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid, nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know, Schlumpadinka, wazzock, Tampon Tunnel, used toilet paper-sniffing Turbo knob vacuum of a meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, roach turd-munching shit-for-brains, dick pickle, gòrach pìos de cac, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, You make PTSD/TBI look like a state fair, a 3 ring circus and Disneyland all rolled into one, (This one is for the Ladies and Medical Staff) this prancing fairy is about as popular as a failed Episiotomy with a 4th degree perineal tear, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, feejackapeesack, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, bunghole warrior, cockwomble, bread loaf end slice, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant, If Mr. Rogers were alive, he’d piss on your grave, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, Uncle Fucker, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, Herp-Burger, poofter, intergalactic cunt muffin, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Deputy executive assistant jizz mopper in training, chronic hemorrhoid, stugatz, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, Sea Donkey, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, can go suck a fat baby’s dick, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Bellicose ball gnashing raper of babies with rabies, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, bawbag, about as useful as a white crayon, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, scunner, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, fudgepacker, turbo douche & enema nozzle, mental midget, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, 100 retarded monkeys could jerk off in a stagnant swamp and generate a better life form than you, You are about as useful as a knitted condom, Massive bucket of schlong fuck juice, cockalorum cum-guzzling gutter slut,
            Dalton Coldiron’s bunny-butt buddy atomic sphincter goblin, If you stuck your brain up a gnat’s ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar, Jackanape, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, pussytits, Milksop, you’re such an embarrassment to your family and your father is so ashamed of you, he’d refuse a free blowjob out of fear of further spilling his seed, you suck so bad, AIDS and Cancer have nightmares about you, your shit is about as funny as Anne Frank, Helen Keller and Terri Schiavo having an orgy in the showers at Auschwitz, you suck so bad, puppies, kittens and babies hate you, you are so loathsome, Gandhi would ass rape you for giggles, you are about as welcome as a yeast infection, hemorrhoids, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, genital wards and herpes, you’re one of the reasons Trump is President, you make God want a do-over, You vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert, pillock, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby,Rear Admiral of the Butt Piracy, donkey raping shit-eater, twatface, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, deep sea crotch lobster, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee Ermey, R.I.P. ) NOT a SEAL, NOT an E-7 Chief, is a massive dickstepper, E-1 SUPERHERO, Should go to jail being a felon in possession of a firearm, OH LOVE THE GIANT HAT PATCH, LEGIT!!!, TOTALLY a retarded, soul patch ball dusting, burn pit of worthlessness, should be blowing everyone in cell block D and taking it up the ass, simultaneously from everyone in cell block C, You fucking LAND WALRUS, shit snorting stain on Hillary Clinton’s yeast infected kootchie covers, you’re lucky we don’t dress you up in drag, drop your ass off somewhere in the Middle East and let an entire battalion of ISIS soldiers and supporters butt rape you until you’re turned inside out, remember that story in the news a while back about a guy that was arrested for fucking his girlfriend’s dog that had been dead for a few days, in front of a daycare center? Yeah, you’re worse than that guy, you make child rape and crib death seem funny, you’re the reason proctologists are a thing, seeing you frolicking around in all your finery makes me understand why Abba wrote the song Dancing Queen, I’d rather watch AFRTS than see this guy’s shit on the Internet, you stupid toilet mint licker, Hitler wishes he had you as a mentor because now he feels like a failure, Ball Basting Boy Wondor, What an oily little meatgazer, planetary level atomic flaming douchebag, Santorium, lying shitbag wanna-be fucknozzle cleaner, Impacted breaching turtle head, Rumpleforeskin, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, anal bum cover (LOL SNL Jeopardy), taint cookie, Mr. Men’s Room Wide Stance toe tappingglory hole hero, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, YOU’RE THE REASON ALIENS COME TO EARTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STICK THINGS UP OUR ASSES BECAUSE EVEN ADVANCED CIVILIZATIONS CAN’T FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twatscicle, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed slimy toadstool on a Swamp Donkey turd, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, needle dick buttfucker, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack,
            Fiction-flinging Richard Gere’s Ass Gerbil Felcher, dingleberry circling ass buzzard, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, bukakke glazed shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, you lying sack of mosquito, Siberian and of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.
            If any of this offends you, I’m sorry. If something here *doesn’t* offend you, I’m not trying hard enough!
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            FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
            Can I get an AMEN?! (Or your choice of exclamation/interjection.)
            Here endeth the lesson.

  12. Buttt…..no dog…no vest….no motorcycle……he just has to be legit…how can that not be???

  15. What a great phony Seal start for this Sunday morning.
    FYI- A week or too ago, I found out that if I left clicked the mouse over all those DD 214’S and the other material for me to make out, they get enlarged where they are now nice and clear. Using my fingers on the screen only made the print blurry when I tried to enlarge them. Another learning curve for myself not being a computer savvy person.

  16. The closest I ever got to BUD/S was seeing some trainees marching across the road when I was doing LPO Leadership Course at Coronado.

    That being said, I’ve got fingers thicker than this guy’s arms, and he wants to bullshit us about being a SEAL?

    But then again, 6 year SR. Ain’t no shitbag like an old shitbag. Wonder if that last two year stint at Bainbridge might have been as a “guest”?

    I do, however, particularly like they blanked out all the marks, rate/rank, etc., on his Page 5, but if you look at the top it gives an average of all marks; the 2.83, 2.76, etc. Now I know I was never SOY material, but Jesus man, you have to REALLY work at getting marks that fucking bad!

      1. I used to get bud’s from Mr McDope…
        They didn’t look anything like Bill J Hightower…
        Although, they were usually bigger than Mr Bill H Hightower’s arms !!!
        A lot more fun too |!!!
        Speaking of fun, here’s hoping the cherry on top of the shit sundae for Bill J Hightower get a chance to be popped by someone we all know and love, Mr Tiny !!!

    2. I use to keep a boat at the Little Creek Marina, right across the creek from the SEAL base. Good fishing in that area.

    3. Best mark was 3.0 in Military Appearance, the easiest area to ace (4.0 scale at the time). This clown was a dick-stepping dirt bag from Day 1 of what passes for his “service.”

  17. WTF is with these slick sleeve assholes that do 3 weeks or 3 years that get discharged as E-1’s and self promote themselves to E-6,7,8,9 ? Do the people around him notice he wasn’t gone for 20+ years ? are they that stupid and unobservant in his neck of the swamp ?

    1. “self promote themselves”

      It’s like getting college credits for “life experience”.
      I served in Viet of the Nam so I don’t need no stinking college transcript

    2. These are the same assholes who walk around bragging, “I could have been a nuke, but…”

      And about 90-95 percent of the time, they’re full of shit. Most couldn’t cut the scores on the ASVAB, were druggies, criminals, or did “try” to go nuke but rocked out on the Week 3 Academic Board in “A” school.

      1. Like some who said “I would have gone Infantry but my ASVAB was too high”.

  18. Also love how he claims 42 years but only made Chief, not Master Blaster. HYT mean anything to you, asshole?

    I personally knew ONE enlisted person who did 40+ years AD, and that was my first COB. He did his FIRST COB tour the year after I was born, by the time I met him he was on his SEVENTH.

    That man was a leader and inspiration in every sense of the word, and Hightower isn’t a festering pimple on a dog’s ass.

    RIP, D. B. Follo.

    1. that’s where he got the nickname Bill “The Bilge” and was pumped frequently.

    2. His favorite play is “Buggery on the High Seas”:

      Man Ho! Productions presents:
      Eric Johns and Chuck U. Farley
      In the south seas saga
      “BUGGERY ON THE HIGH SEAS”

      Captain: “Hoist that scurvy dog from the yardarm!”
      Sailor: “Aye, Captain!”
      Captain: “Yeoman Bosuns”
      Yeoman: “Sir!”
      Captain: “Read the charges.”
      Yeoman: “Aye Captain! Seaman Kelly! You have been charged with the heinous crime of buggery on the high seas. How do you plead?”
      Kelly: (Whimpering) “I’m innocent, I’m innocent, you gotta believe me.”
      Accuser: (Effeminate sounding) “He’s lying.”
      Kelly: “I am not!!!”
      Accuser: “You are so you big fibber!!”
      Kelly: “You better watch out or I’m gonna get you.”
      Accuser: “You already did, that’s why you’re in trouble now.”
      Captain: “SHUT UP!!”
      Accuser: “But he’s a big fibber, he’s lying!!”
      Captain: “Shut up or you’ll get what he’s getting.”
      Accuser: “And what’s that?”
      Captain: “Fifty lashes with a cat-o-nine-tails!”
      Accuser: “FIFTY LASHES?!! He should get at least a hundred for what he did to me, the big fibber, you liar liar liar.”
      Captain: “Hoist that scurvy dog from the yardarm!”
      Accuser: “Ow!!! You’re hurting my wrists!!! Hey this isn’t funny now you guys” (Sound of cloth being torn) “Oh, rip the shirt, how cliché. I suppose you’ll have me walk the plank next of something.”
      Captain: “Take that you DOG!!!” (Sound of whip)
      Accuser (after each lashing): “Ow! Oh! Oooh! Oh yeah!! Yeah, yeah!!” (Fade out)

  21. He seems fascinated with Tanzania (note the picture of the lamp and the claim he attended the Victoria Academy in Tanganeka)which I guess he thinks makes him sound like he visited exotic places in his almost half century of non-service.

    So as a charitable gesture on this Sunday i will help him out – it is spelled “Tanganyika” you F***ing moron.

  22. Well, it looks like he went to Torpedoman’s Mate school as an E-2 in 1966. And when he was discharged, he had no rate at all, not even Boatswain’s Mate which — if I’m reading this correctly — became his primary job code in July of 1966 (note: I’m not really familiar with 60’s-era records, so I could very well be reading this incorrectly and would appreciate someone correcting me if so).

    He reported to TM school on 01 April 1966, which was a Friday, for an 11-week class, which would have had him graduating on or about June 17, 1966, provided that he graduated. That would have put his change of primary job code from Torpedoman’s Mate to Boatswain’s Mate (if that’s what the job code listing actually means) in less than a month after.

    That suggests that he either sucked at being a TM so bad, or something went very wrong in whatever would have been the 1960’s equivalent of the Combat Acoustics division, that his division officer sent him packing to Deck Division. I don’t see anything anywhere ever referring him to “TMSA” or “TMSN” or “BMSA” or “BMSN” (although, granted, all of the rate column in his record of assignments are marked out), which sort of suggests to me that he did not, in fact, pass the TM school, and that’s why he went to Deck upon return to the ship.

    Again, note that I am not familiar with how things were run at that time period and that this is pure speculation based on incomplete information anyway, so I might be completely wrong.

    Anyway, it looks like he passed a “Military Requirements for Petty Officer Third/Second Class” correspondence course in 1967, but then rocketed back to Seaman Recruit (E-1) by the time he was discharged.

    For what it’s worth, Boatswain’s Mate is a hard life. I have the utmost respect for people who were successful at it — it takes moxie, dedication, and real smarts to master that kind of stuff — and I generally am understanding when people can’t hack it. But to not be able to be a BM (or a TM) and be let go at the end of your contract, and then claim to be a 48-year /Chief/? You just go fuck off right now.

    1. I should correct myself and say that he hasn’t claimed to be a Chief, but a “Cheif”, whatever that is.

  23. “BJ” Hightower…any bets this perv was a fan-room action figure during his time on the Bailey? Might explain that E-1 discharge

  24. William John “Bill” Hightower left service after 3 years, 8 months as an SR (E-1). Seriously? I was promoted to Sp4 (E-4) just ten months after my enlistment date.

  25. Bill Hightower HAS NEVER BEEN a USN SEAL.
    Bill Hightower HAS NEVER BEEN A USN CPO.
    Bill Hightower HAS been arrested for Lewd and Lascivious Conduct on a Child Less Than 16 Years Old
    Bill Hightower HAS been arrested for Lewd and Lascivious Assault or Act
    Bill Hightower was also arrested for Aggravated Assault.
    Bill Hightower was also charged with Improper Exhibition of a Firearm.
    Bill Hightower likely blows winos behind bus stops for spare change.
    Bill Hightower left the US Navy as an E1, a sign that he was a far less than even satisfactory Sailor.
    Bill Hightower likely couldn’t even get hired as an Apprentice towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).
    Bill Hightower needs to be outed and stay that way.
    Bill Hightower needs to be locked away for as long as possible the next time he gets arrested.
    Bill Hightower has likely NEVER told the truth about himself.
    Bill Hightower is Dutch Rudder Gang material.
    Bill Hightower is someone I wouldn’t even hire to take out the trash.
    Bill Hightower is likely “that guy” who everyone in his neighborhood refers to as “that creep” and the reason every Father with a Daughter stays locked & loaded.
    Bill Hightower looks like the type one would expect to see roaming around in a windowless van looking for dates at highway rest areas.
    Bill Hightower is another Bony Eared Assfish, a slimy little ocean bottom feeder that hangs out at the deepest depths waiting for its next morsel to fall from above.
    Bill Hightower will soon not only discover the Power of Google, but that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER as well. Google be with you, Bill Hightower! Yes Bill Hightower, Google Power!!!

    1. API, read you 5×5 and will repeat for those down range.

      Bill Hightower HAS NEVER BEEN a USN SEAL.
      Bill Hightower HAS NEVER BEEN A USN CPO.
      Bill Hightower HAS been arrested for Lewd and Lascivious Conduct on a Child Less Than 16 Years Old
      Bill Hightower HAS been arrested for Lewd and Lascivious Assault or Act
      Bill Hightower was also arrested for Aggravated Assault.
      Bill Hightower was also charged with Improper Exhibition of a Firearm.
      Bill Hightower likely blows winos behind bus stops for spare change.
      Bill Hightower left the US Navy as an E1, a sign that he was a far less than even satisfactory Sailor.
      Bill Hightower likely couldn’t even get hired as an Apprentice towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (Entrance in Rear).
      Bill Hightower needs to be outed and stay that way.
      Bill Hightower needs to be locked away for as long as possible the next time he gets arrested.
      Bill Hightower has likely NEVER told the truth about himself.
      Bill Hightower is Dutch Rudder Gang material.
      Bill Hightower is someone I wouldn’t even hire to take out the trash.
      Bill Hightower is likely “that guy” who everyone in his neighborhood refers to as “that creep” and the reason every Father with a Daughter stays locked & loaded.
      Bill Hightower looks like the type one would expect to see roaming around in a windowless van looking for dates at highway rest areas.
      Bill Hightower is another Bony Eared Assfish, a slimy little ocean bottom feeder that hangs out at the deepest depths waiting for its next morsel to fall from above.
      Bill Hightower will soon not only discover the Power of Google, but that THE INTERNET IS FOREVER as well. Google be with you, Bill Hightower! Yes Bill Hightower, Google Power!!!

      1. To add:

        William J. “Bill” Hightower has a history of sexual offenses which should make him eligible to register on the State of Florida’s sexual offender registry (but he’s not, apparently).

  26. Start of a new week, and we already have our first fake SEAL. It is beginning to look like every man who served in the Navy and was largely a failure as a sailor is now a fake Navy SEAL and some rank of NCO or officer. Amazing!
    The Big Green Machine (Army) doesn’t stand a chance in our POSer competition with these metrics. It is like Navy is “Jusify” (3-1 odds) and Army is “Combatant” (72-1 odds) in our POSer Derby.

    1. Right. There are three groups of people that served in the Navy:

      1) SEALs
      2) Fake SEALs
      3) The minority that are left sandwiched in between

    3. How about “diaper-sipper?” It is also pretty likely he is a sipper of penis.

  28. Questions for Navy guys:
    What is symbol letter code that indicates some is boatswain mate (spelling?)?

    Is being a Bosin a rate that is not held in well regard?

    Knowing nothing about maintaining a ship, I am guessing that it requires just about non-stop maintenance and regular repair. Is that the sort of work a Bosin does?

    I do hate chipping old paint but kind of enjoy putting on a new coat.

    Finally, what rate are the guys who handle anchors, dock lines, ship-to-shore connections and such?

    1. The Navy’s Boatswain’s Mate (BM) rating is one of the two oldest in the Navy, dating back to 1794.

      1. BM- BMSR, BMSA, BMSN, BM3, 2, 1, BMC, BMCS, BMCM, E-1 through E-9.

      2. As part of Deck Division they do a lot of the physical labor related to ship topside maintenance and other tasks. It can be dirty and dangerous work. Some may look down on “Boats” as they are called, but rarely in person. They tend to take a rather direct approach to perceived insults.

      3. Navy Careers Link

      Boatswain’s Mates train, direct and supervise personnel in ship’s maintenance duties in all activities relating to marlinspike (a tool used to help tie large knots), deck, boat seamanship, painting, upkeep of ship’s external structure, rigging, deck equipment and, of course, boats.

      Boatswain’s Mates also operate and maintain equipment which may be used in a variety of areas aboard a ship, including loading and unloading cargo, ammunition, fuel and general stores.

      Since this rating is kind of an all-purpose position, the duties are varied and tend to cover work not assigned to other ratings. Boatswain’s Mates may serve as helmsmen and lookouts, or stand as security watches (both in port and at sea), or serve as part of a damage control, emergency or security alert team.

      Their duties may also include repairing, maintaining and stowing equipment in preparation for underway operations; doing temporary duty for 90-120 days with food services divisions or compartment cleaning; working in non-engineering divisions of the ship or station or participating in naval ceremonies.

      I think this covers your remaining questions, TW. “Boats” have a long reputation as work hard-play hard types, and do not tolerate fools or insults. They pretty much hate every other rating in the Navy as lesser beings, but have a special place for “Brown Shoes,” or Navy flyers like me. I generally stayed away, but was sure to check my wallet, watch and rings after contact with them.
      Hope this helps, and standing by for a broadside from a certain Master Chief.
      *grin*

    2. >> Finally, what rate are the guys who handle anchors, dock lines, ship-to-shore connections and such?

      The Boatswain’s Mates (BMs) generally handle anchors & anchoring. The various mooring lines are usually handled by teams of people and these are drawn from the whole crew, but the mooring process has deep BM-level involvement, of course (and they maintain the capstans). As for the ship-to-shore connections — those are generally handled by the people whose job rating it is to handle whatever it is that’s going through those lines. There is a group of engineers (Enginemen, or ENs, specifically) who are responsible for things like the freshwater system and they generally rig up the water connection to the shore after the ship’s Hospital Corpsman, or HM, tests the incoming water for purity & safety. Sewage lines are hooked up by the Hull Maintenance Technicians, or HTs, who manage the ship’s sanitation systems (among other things), whereas the ships’ Information Systems Technicians (ITs) will hook up things like phone and the all-important Internet connectivity. This is for a “small boy” like a destroyer. Your average carrier setup may vary.

  29. What is symbol letter code that indicates some is boatswain mate (spelling?)? BM

    Is being a Bosin a rate that is not held in well regard? False

    Knowing nothing about maintaining a ship, I am guessing that it requires just about non-stop maintenance and regular repair. Is that the sort of work a Bosin does? Not necessarily

    I do hate chipping old paint but kind of enjoy putting on a new coat.

    Finally, what rate are the guys who handle anchors, dock lines, ship-to-shore connections and such? That would be BM

  30. I am in contact with NOT A SEAL William Hightower, who offers this:
    “I know. I was a combat platoon Officer with the 1St Inf. Division in Viet Nam, and when I came back I visited him on board ship where he was in the brig fro jumping ship in Europe. I have been trying to stop him from lying for years now, and he will never show me his 214. I told him I would be glad to send him mine. But I am a God fearing born againg christian, and I can not help who my brother is.

    Pretty much affirms everything, doesn’t it?

  31. I asked the brother of Phony William “Bill” Hightower if the phony was aware that there was a post about him. He replied with:
    “Yes, I gave him a copy of it, but have showed him similair things before. He is just a pathological Liar and can not get away from it.”

  32. Lets see 4 years in the Navy, left as an E-1 and no Good Conduct medal. The brothers insight into him going over the hill seems to provide the missing link.

  34. GOOD LORD!!! I hope people are still notified of this post. I can’t believe how long of a feed this and what I really cant believe is that I met this FUCKING IMPOSTER , TODAY , on VETERANS DAY at my WORK where we give out FREE MEALS. NOW it does calm me .1% that he actually served… But this motherfucker sat in front of me for almost 2 hours telling me absolute bullshit about his life. Motherfucker tells me he was born in Tanzania africa as mentioned which he said something about tanganeeka too he talked about how people say they’re fake seals all the time this and that this and FUCKING THAT etc oh my god I could go on forever but fuck him thank you everybody thank you thisainthell and thank you mountain of insults, but apparently even as his brother says, this slimy fuck is a pathological liar and none of this changed anything. What a piece of fucking work. To this day 11/11/18 he claims the same horseshit what a sad excuse for a human being

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