Chip sends us a link to the story of John O’Grady in Boynton Beach, Florida who returned to the Best Buy store where he’d stolen a call phone recently. He was recognized by store personnel who called the local constabulary who confronted Mr O’Grady, who in turn, identified himself as a US Marshal;
The pin on his gray suit, the badge and the gun seemed to confirm that.
But O’Grady didn’t have identification nor could he name his supervisor.
He eventually conceded that no, he was not a U.S. Marshal, and the “firearm” on his hip was a BB gun.
Authorities arrested O’Grady on charges of impersonating a law-enforcement officer and retail theft. They reportedly found the stolen iPhone in O’Grady’s vehicle.
Mr O’Grady is currently out on bond, but I’m sure he’ll be back in custody soon enough.
From the Tribunist;
One of the officers “congratulated” O’Grady for impersonating a law enforcement official, announcing it is a felony. O’Grady was handcuffed and, during the ensuing conversation, claimed he did not know that representing himself as a law enforcement officer was illegal.
What, no SEALSNIPERSPECOPSMURDERDEATHDEALER?
The BB gun alone would have convinced me?
Hey, he could put someone’s eye out with that thing,
Notafinga
Da forest Gump dun sayed it, “stoopid iz az stoopid does”! 😉
Self-identified as a US Marshall? That old chestnut?
Well, that adds to the fake LEO list for this year, doesn’t it?
I believe that brings us up to two – I’ll have to check the records.
With that glorious mane of hair, he could have probably found some desperate sugar mama at the shuffleboard court to buy him a really nice phone. But he went the 8TFU route instead.
WOW, I bought my Computers at the Boynton Beach Congress ave. store.
He’s not a phony Seal and resides in Florida. Now that’s a switch.
You wouldn’t believe the number of personation cases we work in Florida.
Wow, that’s one Einstein of a Rocket Surgeon, at least he didn’t go on a rampage shooting people’s eyes out.
Well he sure ain’t no brain scientist.
He’s a cell phoney. The store called police just to have him removed for trespassing. The stolen phone business was apparently not actionable and the phone was in his car. In other words, he would have walked away but then buried himself. Genius.
Yeah, he went Full Bernath, alright.
Mentioning Full Bernath set all the bells and whistles off on the KAL-55B Whiz Wheel, so the result of a vigorous spinning is:
John O’Grady (BLDAM)* 31×5= 155
John O’Grady, attempting to fill the void left by Lawn Dart Danny as Floriduh’s Dumb Ass of the Year.
*Bernathian Dumb Ass Move
He definitely qualifies for Full Rutabaga Retard Points IMHO.
Thank you, Claw. Reading your posts at work always brings an evil grin to my mug, scaring the other cube-rubes.
Priceless.
Perhaps there is a “Free Spin” multiplier spot on the whiz wheel? Say, 1x-9x…
*dons green visor and sleeve garters* “Place your bets, Ladies and Gentlemen.”
I dunno. Looks legit to me.
/Sark
Maybe he was an “Honorary Federal Marshall”.
Haha!
May day, may day……awww sh…..
You forgot to say “over”, over.
Honorary Constabulary Policing Observer?
But he is off his rocker!
A smart cop shoulda yelled “GUN!” Problem solved.
…”he claimed he did not know that representing himself as a law enforcement officer was illegal…”
Hildebeest von Pantsuit claimed that she did not know that a home brew server kept in her bathroom containing thousands of classified emails was illegal. That defense worked for her; why shouldn’t it work for “Marshal” O’Grady here…???
Bahahahahahahaha
What a tard.
This loser failed the Field Training course for All-Points Logistics.
I do, however, dig the nicotine-stained mustache.
Have you looked at the All Points Logistics website recently? They implemented an “I Got Your 6” program. If you go online and commit career self-murder defending Phil Monkress from being exposed as a lying sack of shit who claimed to be a Navy SEAL, he will buy you a six pack of chicken nuggets from one of the less reputable fast food joints. And if you continue defending him after he shitcans your spandex clad ass, he’ll through in a medium sized drink.
Thanks for the update.
I never realized that “Phony” Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) had upgraded to “medium-sized”.
Change to read “throw in” vice “through in”. Hack really needs to pay attention before posting, but he got called away from his desk because things went awry again while Psaul Of The Ballsack was testing the limits of his recovering from an auto-eroticism asphyxiation blackout.
The mustache is crooked. Must be an indicator that everything else about him is crooked.
That is an impressive mustache and beard. But what kind of legacy is it that a shave is the only thing that separates him from being a poser to a guy with a clean shave.
As it were, I knew a guy in College Park, MD who was a U.S. Marshall and hated the fact that he was always on call and lived out of a suitcase. He said that the money was good. Good can only take you so far.
Marshall Tucker Band maybe 40 years ago.
US Marshall today….not so much.
Did he return to Best Buy to self-investigate the stolen phone?
He looks like a guy who’s received a few too many concussions in that photo.
Droopy eyed dipshit.
I know the woman this man was or is married to. Such a nice woman. Fail on the husband sweetie.
Sadly it’s amazing how fast assholes get locked up for impersonating any level of law enforcement.
Australia considers impersonating a member of their military the same as impersonating an LEO.
They call either ” Impersonating an officer of the Commonwealth”