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Eric Kappesser; phony fed LEO and *surprise* phony SEAL

by Jonn Lilyea••39

Someone sent us this story about Eric Kappesser who has been resting comfortably in the local hoosegow after he was arrested for impersonating an FBI agent in Wilmington, Delaware. His lawyer told the judge that he should get “time served” because he was booted from BUD/S when he got in a fight in Chicago and was stabbed;

Authorities say Kappesser represented himself to others as an FBI agent, including obtaining law enforcement discounts when purchasing firearms accessories and wearing a fake badge.

Kappesser’s attorney says he was on his way to becoming a Navy SEAL when he was injured in a brawl involving other sailors in Chicago, during which he suffered two knife wounds.

He’d already got the prosecutor to drop one charge;

Prosecutors agreed to drop a second count of impersonation, as well as one count of unauthorized possession of a badge or insignia of a federal agency.

An indictment issued in May alleged that between April and October 2016, Kappesser represented himself to others as an FBI agent, including requesting and obtaining a law enforcement discount when purchasing certain firearms accessories. Authorities say he also wore a replica of an FBI badge around his neck.

So I wondered what the odds are that he was pretending to be a SEAL reject. Odds are pretty good, according to the SEALs at Military Phonies – they say there’s no record of him being in BUD/S, failure or otherwise.

I’m shocked.

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39 thoughts on “Eric Kappesser; phony fed LEO and *surprise* phony SEAL”

    1. They dropped some charges but didn’t file the most important charge…’STUPID IN A PUBLIC PLACE”!

  4. Someone needs to kick a bone out of the prosecutor’s ass and “enlighten” him/her that ERIC KAPPESSER was never a SEAL. Maybe that will be incentive enough to present to the judge and ERIC KAPPESSER get to visit the BTJT Deli (Home of the WORLD FAMOUS Cockmeat Sammich) and some SQUEAKHOLE THERAPY.

    COCKSUCKER!

    1. Thank you for stating my thoughts. So I gather on the basis of perp facing felony charges, the prosecutor just takes his word that he was a SEAL. For shit sake! No wonder so many criminals walk on technicalities.

      1. Since when do lawyers look for any truth in anything? They never let a good lie go to waste,, the scum themselves should be in with tiny, bubba and the gang imho!

    2. Not only that, but why is military service an excuse to felonies?

      Did I miss that briefing? Cause it sure seems to be a card pulled a lot.

  5. This is one where Kappesser’s attorney is apparently using the “onion” defense. That’s when you have to get through multiple layers of stupid…

  6. More than likely going through BUD/S Prep at Great Lakes, went on liberty and mouthed off that he was going to be a SEAL. Got shanked by someone who DGAF.

    1. That’s what I figured to be the most likely story. Did the early morning BUD/S Prep during Boot Camp, goes off on one night of liberty at the end, or during A-School across the street, and gets in trouble.

      Or the even more likely story that he’s just making it up all together. Who knows.

  8. From the article:

    At a hearing Wednesday in Wilmington, 28-year-old Eric Kappesser of Stevensville agreed to plead guilty to one count of impersonating a federal official, which carries a maximum penalty of three years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

    Max him out.

    1. I recall hearing back in the day that 18Ds would work in ERs where there were a lot of GSWs as part of their training.

      Assuming that gouge was true (seemed like it was, based on the sources), do they still do that (or some similar program)?

      Chicagostan seems like a good place to get eyes/hands/brain on GSWs…

  11. Well everyone out there knows my repitoire by now when it comes to the Seals so I won’t say anything, but Thursday is a different story.

  13. Correct me if I’m wrong here, but as far as I know, “I coulda been a contendah!” don’t mean shit.

  15. Turd burglars gonna burgle…

    Was his lawyer trying to do the whole…You can’t send my client to hell, he’s already been there (BUD/S) trick?

  17. Again, not a veteran so I honestly don’t know. Would the Navy release who is in a BUD/S class or no? I’m a reporter and they are super sensitive about releasing anything that is remotely interesting. I’m not talking about big stuff. I’m talking local boy done good type of a thing and he’s now back here in the states and it’s been weeks and it wasn’t a secret squirrel mission (ie. all over facebook). So back to my question, would they release records of who is in a BUD/S class? Would that be just to Don and his crew or to anyone? And would that go for any military school?

    2. Andy,

      Hopefully, I did not misunderstand you.

      Can you think of a good reason why they do not release the list of BUD/S graduates?

      Who is it that might have a rather sinister interest in that list? What might they do with that “interesting” information?

      Some of your peers are far more interested in “breaking an interesting story” than in “someone just used that interesting story to kill and defeat Americans”.

      What folks like us ask, and I mean it politely here, is ” are the Press Americans then reporters, or just reporters”?

      Because some of your colleagues are most decidedly -not- on the side of America. And that seems to be particularly annoying to the American military mind-set, for reasons you may have already deduced.

      All I ask, is please think, long and hard, about who might misuse the story you want to tell. And I warn, politely, that many of us judge based on actions, not intent.

  18. Really? You’ve got to be kidding me…

    What a dumb ass… probably told the judge he caught the PTSD from that beat down.

    I bet he was a SEAL though… I’m sure he stopped by the Navy Exchange and picked up a Trident, Jump Wings, Diver Badge, etc. on his way to the house after getting the boot!

  19. I think I got this. He did so well as a SEAL that the FBI invited him to join to join their Secret Squirrel Squad. It’s so secret that, even in court, he had to pretend he misrepresented himself. It was close. He nearly bit down on the fake molar containing the 10-seconds and gone pill.

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