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Wilbert “Beau” Bass; phony SEAL

by Jonn Lilyea••77

Someone sent us their work on this fellow, Wilbert Bass, who goes by the name “Beau” on Facebook, and on LinkedIn where he also claims to have been a Navy SEAL;

He tells folks that he was in the Air Force, but that he’d got out before 9-11-2001. When that terrorist attack happened, “they” contacted him and told him to “report to any branch” and he picked Navy SEALs. Lucky them.

He claims to have graduated from BUDS class 237…also claims to have been a sniper “with 250 kills, 160 confirmed, 3d only to Chris Kyle”.

Yeah, well, as nice and as realistic as that all sounds, the Navy says “Who?”

It looks like he has Air Force service.

We’re waiting on a FOIA for that period.

He was in and out of courtrooms for the last twenty years for bad checks and obtaining property under false pretenses.

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77 thoughts on “Wilbert “Beau” Bass; phony SEAL”

    1. KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

      Shack!

      Request immediate re-attack being that ol’ Battlin’ Beau here is falsely claiming 3 x Bronze Stars with ‘V’ on his LinkedIn page posted above.

      Expend all on your next pass.

      Cleared hot.

  2. Great…. I am getting ready to retire after 24 years and got a LinkedIn account a couple of weeks ago. I wonder how many of these fags do this kind of crap? Hope I run into a couple of these types in my new career! “ oh you will really like joe in accounting. He’s a Navy Seal and Green Beret who is only 25…..”

    1. You’ll be surprised. I’ve worked a few jobs with kno-slobberers who’ve tried to bullshit me about their bogus Military Service and I embarrassed the shit and piss out of them in front of God and everyone.

  3. His “kills” happened while he was “butt sniping” at the local ghey bar. WILBERT “BEAU” BASS likes to DORK THE SQUEAKHOLE!

  4. “…also claims to have been a sniper “with 250 kills, 160 confirmed, 3d only to Chris Kyle”….

    “Call of Duty” is easy; Reality is…not so easy…

    1. Give him a break. He was using a pellet gun at the garbage pit to pick off rats, fired 250 times and found only 160 rats – which he then cooked for his supper.

  6. I hate these cocksuckers that never served more than anything! The only kill he ever had was at his SQUEAKHOLE! Welcome to your internet fame there cocksucker! WILBERT “BEAU” BASS likes to DORK THE SQUEAKHOLE!

          2. Well we can always ask for a ruling, but generally agreed, wrong/fire/flood/act of God are all pretty much the same thing.

            It’s different enough from Fake/sealed/classified claim.

    7. ChipNASA-As we used to say in NYC back in the 1950’S “Now that’s Boss”. That Bingo card is also like a sore pecker-You can’t beat it. Last remark was not 50’S.

    9. I love it!

      I think the free square should be ‘Cocksucker’ with boom and shack in smaller font along the bottom of the square.

  8. He also claims he played baseball at the University of Georgia from 1997 to 2001, huh?

    The team rosters only go back to 2000.

    (He’s not on the roster for 2000 (18 players) nor 2001 (24 players)).

    On LinkedIn, he claims the Bronze Star with “Valor”, 3 times.

  9. I wonder how many times “Beau” got boinked from behind by Bubba, Thor, Julio or any others while he was in lockup?

  10. The ice is finally broken with one phony Seal coming into the TAH Tuesday starting gate.

        1. OK, 2/17, if I need to start a score of levels of being a phony, I’ll need to generate a TAH Poser Scoring System.

          Being the size of a Zeppelin would definitely weight the score for the SF posers, but we’ve had some Navy SEALs Walruses that could lend some gravitas to that Team.

          I will take your suggestion under consideration.

          1. We sorta have a checklist already- Doo-rag, biker vest slathered with false bling, service critter, tats, the list goes on.

            1. Yeah – I’d have to determine which parts of the checklist are worth how many points.

              It may be simpler, in some cases, to start with a score of 100 and subtract for those parts of the checklist the phony did not use.

              I think we may start with the TAH Poser Bingo Card, determine baseline points, and go from there, adding bonus point for trying, say, to pass oneself off as a woman SF Major while overweight.

              Sockpuppets and girlfriend/wives ought to be worth something as well.

              Gonna take some thought, but now – early in the 2018 race – is when I need to do this so I can score those posers exposed here on TAH from 1JAN18 on before there gets to be too many of them.

  11. “obtaining property under false pretenses”

    Could’ve been an outstanding Supply SGT, had he actually enlisted!

  14. May Wilbert “Beau” Bass’s next Doctor appointment be with a fat-fingered sadistic Proctologist with piss-poor depth perception.

  15. I could forgive him for calling himself “Beau” as opposed to “Wilbert” but my sympathy for him ends there.

  16. us Navy Seal
    depart of the Navy

    “We have no further questions for this witness your honor”.

  17. Color me surprised, just looking at that mug of his, I’d have guessed SEAL; at the very least sniper.

    I guess the Navy, and the nation, missed out on not recruiting this guy.

    1. Sniper.

      — sigh —

      In addition to all of their other poser bullshit, it’s always ‘sniper’ with these assclowns. Always.

        1. Hell, I used to bitch about being at the range at dark thirty to draw weapons for the KD range….

          I sure as hell ain’t gonna claim sniper!

          1. OK, I may be exposing another level of my ignorance and stupidity, but it sounds like shooting at a KD range would be kinda fun.

            I know that when I worked the rifle range at a summer camp (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and we used flintlocks) I enjoyed it.

            As I understand it, being one of the guys running the target pit at a KD range sux like a Hoover vacuum cleaner, but… I only left the range last weekend when I ran out of ammo.

  18. Cripes. He claims employment with SSA because he receives a disability check. Man, that hurts. Sounds like window licker would be a step up.

  22. little known fact~
    AutoZone only hires SEALS/Special Forces. If he’s the “Assistance Manager” that makes him the equivalent of at least a Navy Captain.

  23. I call double BS on the after 9/11 claim. Right after 9/11 I called the local recruiter and asked if there was any news that Bush the younger would recall retirees as Bush the older had. The recruiter asked me if I’d been retired fewer than two years; I said I had not, I had been retired for more than 5 years. She told me retirees with less than 2 years could get on a waiting list to enlist in the reserves and those over five years were not being considered. It was fine until she said, “Don’t worry about it sir, you’re too old.”

  25. What a gasbag he is.

    They’d recall Jonn or Dennis-not chevy before they’d call him in to even sweep the floor. They might even recall me. Yeah, I can still speak and write coherently… sort of.

    He’s an idiot. Bad checks, too! That’s some real cool career stats he’s got going for him.

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