Posted in

Tyler Latvala; phony Green Beret

by Jonn Lilyea••51

Our partners at Guardians of the Green Beret share their work on this fellow, Tyler Latvala who claims to be special forces medic and he texts real time situation reports over his secure cell phone to his commander;

Until he gets busted and fesses up;

According to the Guardians, he’s an E-2 that graduated from Basic Training at Ft Sill, Oklahoma in October, 2015. There are many more hilarious text messages at the link above.

You might also like

Darren Bavaro; phony hero

Edwin Tingstrom; phony wounded paratrooper

John James Lavoie updated

51 thoughts on “Tyler Latvala; phony Green Beret”

    1. USERID:5568
      SUBJ:ANT-A-99A
      CLASSIFICATION://U//
      MESSAGE: Blasted ants!
      Big ants, giant ants all
      over the place. Shooting
      and texting. My buddy g

      USERID:5568
      SUBJ:ANT-A-99A
      CLASSIFICATION://U//
      MESSAGE: ot stepped on
      by a giant fkn ant
      shooting acid at everybody
      killed the fker. I am o

      USERID:5568
      SUBJ:ANT-A-99A
      CLASSIFICATION://U//
      MESSAGE:k! Can’t say the
      same thing about Jim!
      Good God, these things are
      all over the place, j

      USERID:5568
      SUBJ:ANT-A-99A
      CLASSIFICATION://U//
      MESSAGE:ust shot a building
      down, giant ants all over the
      place

    2. “spunk bubble”

      If that’s not in the Wall of Insults it should be added post haste!

      1. I’m adding both your name and the insult. I think that Butt Sponge Spunk Bubble to together nicely. I already have “Spunk Bubble Blowing” so adding “Butt Sponge” to that.

  2. (sigh) Another SF-wannabe.

    Good to see that 5th Group finally decided to remember (and honor) its history and go back to the striped flash, though.

  5. Graduate E-2 in 2015. Is this twig still on AD, or has he been chastised and/or sent packing?

    How does anyone find the time to do this idiotic stuff? I never had time for it, except on my lunch hour… and that was usually spent with a magazine and a plate of mac & cheese or ham and eggs.

    1. Being administratively discharged works, Ex-PH2. Alternatively, the graduation could have been from IET as a member of the USAR or ARNG and he may still be serving in the reserve components. An AKO search should be able to verify or refute the latter.

        1. Retired? That little squeakhole(thanks for THAT term Senior Chief!) is drawing a retirement check?!?

            1. Disability???? For what??? Dislocated texting thumbs????? Give, to me, a fucking break.

        2. If there’s any truth to what Latvala said after being confronted, it looks like he developed a medical issue at AIT and was medically retired. The roommate thinks it’s a brain tumor – IF that’s true it might provide some mitigation for Latvala’s BS. For now I wouldn’t recommend deploying the WOI.

          1. IMHO he’s too small potatoes for the WOI and he DID fess up, but for now I wonder if he’s only sorry he got caught?

    2. Originally posted by Ex-PH2:

      How does anyone find the time to do this idiotic stuff?

      His roommate reported that he didn’t work, and seemed to have “gone on these missions” when his roommate was at work. The Guardians of the Green Beret site has more details on this, worth the read. :mrgreen:

  7. LT Raines?

    Wasn’t that Brad Pitts’ character in Inglorious Basterds?

    Talk about originality. Maybe Private Latvala really did get smacked with a sledgehammer.

    Dumbass.

  9. Spewed my coffee out laughing while reading all of these texts this morning. Talk about too much time on your hands!

  10. Never said anything in the Apology that he was Full of Shit and is not nor ever was Special Forces. Hell he could be apologizing for leaving the milk out on the counter. Fuck this ass hat !

  11. If only he had texted, “Roger dodger. Wilco. Over and out.” That would have been perfect.

    2. I think it was an exhibit at the Pima air museum. Told the story of WWII flight training. School superintendent was a Major. Overhears a student aviator acknowledge every radio instruction with “roger dodger”. The major hated this, so gets on the radio and tells him to knock it off. A few minutes later, the student again replies with roger dodger.

      So the major gets on the radio and says something like, “This is Major X, stop saying ‘roger dodger’!” To which the student pilot replies, “Roger dodger, you old codger, I’m a major too.”

      1. Back in the mid-70s had a flight engineer in our barracks (oops, I mean dorm) who always said — in the dayroom, not in flight — “Roger dodger, you old codger; roger, wilco, over and out.”

    3. Early 70’s during a boring mid watch on Yankee Station some one would broadcast on the circuit “Hello ‘dere” which was a punch line in vogue at the time (Allen and Rossi comedy team). Some up tight senior officer got on the line and ranted on and on about maintaining circuit discipline. After a brief pause, some one chirped out “Who dat?”……talk about a coffee spew!!

      2. I once heard a fellow soldier on a radio respond to “how do you copy” with “on a Xerox machine.” The person on the other end was not amused.

    4. Oh-dark-thirty, Fort Irwin.

      CPT S-4 angry: “(callsign stuff) where’s the xyz report?! Send it ASAP, over.”

      SPC X: “(callsign stuff)….Wait one, over.”

      …. pause …

      CPT S-4 angry: (outraged, spluttering, no callsigns/procedures) “Wait one? Wait? I’m a captain! I don’t fucking wait for you! You fucking wait for me!”

      (Second voice): “fuck you sir!”

      CPT S-4: (apoplectic, almost stroke-out) “who the fuck is that! You don’t use rank on the fucking radio! WHO THE FUCKING FUCK IS THAT!!!!! (More, similar)

      …pause….

      (Second voice): “You don’t know, do you sir!”

      CPT S-4: (nuclear meltdown)

      Details provided to me by a member of my merry little band, who might possibly have been the #1 in that exchange, or present for it. The rest of us were convinced #2 was OPFOR. At least that was the story we gave all who asked. The observer-controllers apparently had a field day with that little lapse of radio protocol.

      1. When I had 81’s I used to crack up the Marines with my radio procedures…”okie-dokie” and other non-military jargon

    5. NG Son reports being on guard duty once, when it was close to time to be relieve he came over the radio asking for a slightly earlier relief because “I’ve got to go potty.”
      His Sgt. was incredulous.

  12. This guy is a moroon.

    He is a moroon?

    Yes, a tactical incoming moroon!

    Got it, yep, WILCO.

  14. Maybe he’ll start thinking he’s Napoleon’s identical twin brother, separated at birth by more than a century.

  15. I think I actually feel bad for this guy. He’s clearly a retard. An actual, double digit IQ, retard.

    Check out his definition for mortars. “A mortar is basically a bomb you drop in a tube and it flies out and hits stuff and explodes.”

    He’s not dealing from a full deck, obviously.

    2. Maybe not a full deck but I can only imagine that he deals with some full dicks on a regular basis.

      Like in his one and two-holes.

  16. DAMN! Cocksucking assclown TYLER LATVALA looks like he enjoys sucking down ghey whey shakes directly from “the source”.

    ENJOY. THE. FAME. COCKSUCKER.

  17. Because calling in drone strikes from your closet while in your Superman Underoos is where it’s at!

  18. Backwards Beret-Boi may have a head injury, since he now can’t tell right from left. Maybe the novelty uniform store that supplied his green beret deliberately makes them with the “pull” on the left to go over the left ear. Let’s hope so, as it is a dead giveaway for a phony pony.

    1. Took another look at the photos on the Guardians site and it appears the images are all reversed. So that explains the wrong side problem, but we have had several examples of POSers that have made that mistake with their fakery.

  19. You know, I read the poser stories on this site and usually they range from hilarious to disgusting. This one, though, is just pathetic.

  20. I don’t regard that as fessing up at all.He doesn’t mention anything about what he did. What is he admitting ? He is just a spunkbubble

Comments are closed.