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Scott Bessinger; phony SEAL

by Jonn Lilyea••56

Our partners at Military Phonies send us their work on this fellow Scott Bessinger who was spotted by a real deal SEAL at the Waffle House parading around the restaurant in his SEAL cap. The picture above was taken at the encounter in that hallowed place.

When confronted, Bessinger told the real deal SEAL that he was in BUD/S class 151 – which later turned out to be false.

So the folks at Military Phonies got his records;

Based on Scott’s summary sheet, he did just over 3 years, 2 months, 5 days of active service and 3 years, 5 months, 13 days of reserve duty. Scott was discharged as an E-3, Machinist Mate Fireman. No BUD/S, no SEAL Team.

Bessie fractured her taint and caught a medical retirement and figures that makes him a SEAL, I guess.

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56 thoughts on “Scott Bessinger; phony SEAL”

  1. There was a video of this confrontation. The poser was very uncomfortable and the real SEAL had to walk off so he wouldn’t bitch slap him.

        1. Oh, thank you for that.

          The video is awesome because it almost NEVER happens – where you get a phony spewing his BS face-to-face with a BTDT.

  3. Busted in a Waffle House…how much worse could it get? Hopefully that is rock bottom and he mends his ways…all he has to do is ditch the fucking hat and shut his mouth and he can chow down on that double helping of deep vein thrombosis in peace

  4. He bawled and got the real USN SEAL booted from that Waffle House, I motion for the inbred buck toothed Swamp Donkey named Scott Bessinger to receive The Official TAH Wall of Insults®™.

      1. I was “asked to leave” a Burger King once. Was also told that the police were on the way. Told the manager that I would leave as soon as I finished my Whopper, and that if I were interrupted prior to my departure, I would hold him personally responsible. (Even threw in a little John Wayne quote – “Your fault, my fault, nobodies fault at all – I will hold you responsible.”) It was a good Whopper, not a great Whopper – but I was allowed to finish it in peace.

        1. I got barred from an NCO club in Europe back in the magical 1980s

          Had something to do with an MP’s weapon and the wife of the manager…I think.

          I”m still not clear how I got roped into that whole circus. I was just ordering a burger to go and next thing I know I’m the most evil bastard in Germany.

          Like I would have anything to do with that skank or want one of those crappy GI 45s…

          It is Germany…there is far, far better to be found at the Brau Haus in Frankfurt and far better weapons at the rod and gun club…LOL

          1. I got kicked out of a Home Depot for dancing around and licking a hammer.
            Miley Cyrus got paid to do it, and I got told to never come back again.

      2. What is it with you guys?

        I have never been disinvited or asked to leave any place that serves food. They always want me to spend more and ask me to come back again.

        What have you rotten little boys been doing?????

          1. We are not worthy of your presence here @ TAH.

            Hugh Hefner told me once he loved his life but he’d secretly always wanted to be Dave Hardin.

          2. “The Driftwood; We Accept Allotments.”

            Always willing to support the service men.

        2. …I’ve only been 86’d once. Twenty years in the Air Force, including tours to Korea and four RED FLAG, and nothing.

          Go out ONCE with my wife and HER friends about a year ago, and look what happens…:)

          Mike

        3. Never? Wow! And while it didn’t involve food, I was also a guest aboard USS Raleigh when it was “asked to leave” St. Tropez harbor in 1974. Apparently that had never happened to our Captain before, as he was ticked like you’ve never seen. And for some reason he felt like it was the Marines’ fault. Go figure.

          And the Burger King thing? That resulted from a very poorly thought out attempt to get the girl behind the counter to go out with me. I was on leave, she was cute and friendly, and it seemed like the thing to do at the time . . .

      3. Jeez I really wish I’d known that ‘explanation’ in my youth. Because I could have sworn…

        😉

        PS If you ever heard a tale of a Hooters manager banning all Teamguys when an orchestrated swapping of waitress girlfriends between entire platoons based on deployment scheduling was uncovered…it never, ever happened. Or they were dis-invited, or something. 😉

        1. You all are lightweights, until you get thrown out of the “flower shop” in Itaewon…. well my friend , you’ve haven’t lived.

            1. The Parasite club? I can neither confirm or deny that in 1990, a young SPC D may or may not have learned a particularly interesting drinking game there.

            2. Was it “The Soju Experience” or did you get your “Turtle Initiation” there?

      4. I don’t remember ever getting kicked out of a place, but I do remember getting a Chaplin to call me an asshole once.

    4. Alrighty then,
      We have a request we have a Second and a Third (Which I’ll count as an “AYE” vote) so
      Scott “Baby Balls” Bessinger, You’ve earned it with your fake SEAL bullshit,

      Wall of Insults®™
      FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
      TACTICAL NUCLEAR ROUND OUT!!!!
      DANGER CLOSE!!!!
      MOPP LEVEL 4!!!
      TAKE COVER!!!!!

      Scott “Ole Bessie” Bessinger, was NOT a SEAL, ALLEGEDLY, but not confirmed or proven, but in some people’s opinion, works balls, tickles taint and tongue punches hobo’s crusty fart boxes all, I Guess, while being a syphilitic, turd-sucking feces factory, Bitch-ass Fuckstick guzzler, pile infested, onion-eyed flapmouthed butt-bailiff, “Fowl” mouthed Chicken Fucking Chickenfucker, moral equivalent of pond scum, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A WALKING TURD, inflamed, “Towel boy” in a gay bath house, Ambulatory verbal dissembling anus, gaping ass fungus nugget, Cambodian cunt sauce, Poopy Headed ball working asshole, Poster-child for abortion, Swallowing Spoo Sampler, shit tonguing, munching wanktoaster, cock gobbling Pigfucker, lientery steatorrhea, sperm burping, tit, sniveling, codpiece licking toilet seat sniffer, lying bucket of Chihuahua shit, taintpimple, Pillow bitin pickle smoocher, Bowl of ass soup, Festering fuckwart on a sewer rat’s ass, needle dick bug fucker, Satan even said about you, “Boy is this guy a DICK!, Sparklepony, Toilet weasel, worthless, Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas, Blows winos behind bus stops for a nickel and gives change, More worthless than rubber lips on a woodpecker or tits on a boar hog, moldy bowl of ratshit, would wear Richard Simmons’ used jockstrap as a facemask, useless bag of monkey fuck, rectum circling colon goblin, rancid floor buffer wax spreader, both of your Grandmothers should have had an abortion, just in case, I’ve seen bigger wieners on a cocktail plate!, Mayor Grundle of Scrotumburg and Anusville, waste of oxygen, Grandstanding cunt, prickwrinkler, anal sphincter canyon yodeling phallic squeezer, numbnuts, snowball, giggling beerflecked canker blossom , ball-tickling & ball gargling bullshiat artist, maybe a “buggerer of little boys”, rottencrotched, rump wrangling, colostomy bag curator, culo de chongo, booger eating fuckbucket, Lemon Party-lusting fruitcake, putrid, rotting, Santorum Stained Molting Muscrat, whoreson whale’s carcass, Rumpranger, overzealous polyp burglar, bed wetting, follows in Victorious Felder’s bovine excrement -filled boots, I wanna get a running start and drop kick him right in the ‘ol yogurt gun, toadstool slime-inhaling dickdrizzling sludge, prodigious jenkem huffer, as fucked up as an opossum eating shit out of a hairbrush, Champion Jailhouse Baloney Pony Rider, Wooden dildo, moron, Poodle Raper, cunt fart, Prevaricating orally diarrhetic sphincter mouth, Cock Bagel and Dick Doughnut, Straight Up Stupid Motherfucker, this buttmunch needs to eat out the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk, baby unit, one eyed snake charmer, you’ll never be the man your mother is, Odious Twonk, likes to suck the turds out of rabid dogs bungholes, baby cave, wide open mouth pivot man in a circle jerk, ax wound drippings , used toilet paper-sniffing meat gazer, terminal crotch infection, asshat, dick pickle, It looks like he smeared super glue on his lip and chin and went down on Whoopi Goldberg’s cootchie, wanker, herpes-ridden dung beetle target, first volunteer for being part of a jailhouse human centipede, should eat a nice steaming pile of monkey shit you ass clown, looks like hammered dog shit, helmet wearing short bus riding window licker, Head paddler in the douche canoe, more ate up than a chocolate dildo in a crowded gay bar, shitbag, dipstickus giganticus, Humpty Dumpty cleanup man after the fleet visits Naples, poofter, knob gobbling, fimicolous galactic Jackoff, Assistant Jizz mopper in training, inbred, toe-jam from an infected Filipino hooker that specializes in foot jobs, tortured turnip turd, festering pool of anal leakage, your penis lives in eternal darkness, I’d hate to see your toilet, retardus maximus, Microcephalic Toad Licker, steaming rat-felching bucket of moldy monkey fuck, Pecker-puffing pickle licker, catcher not pitcher, Arschloch, impotent koekeloeren, slaptard, couldn’t even be trained in my AFSC in the USAF to suck farts out of C-5 seat cushions, mumpsimus, reverse dirty sanchez lover, kutomba wewe, Cryptosporidium-ridden tire tosser, douche & enema nozzle, likes to molest small farm animals, dead and alive, is a hemorrhoid, schlong juice, cum-guzzling gutter butt-slut sphincter goblin, Fuck Tart, Sitzpinkler, lispian, Milksop, puss soaked jackwagon, waste of trace elements and water, Jizztissue, knob breath dick biscuit, Pettifogger, Bunghole Baby, donkey raping shit-eater, pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo it, may he lay a lip lock on the snotty end of a moose cock,butt munch, man of the night in a large animal bordello, I bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck your own mother in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give her a reach-around (Thanks R. Lee) got caught with that bullshit Trident Hat and was lucky a REAL SEAL didn’t break it off in his ass, Rumpleforeskin, fuckstain skidmark on the underwear of life, taint cookie, Fartleberry, Some NCO Should have beat you within an inch of your life, insult to humanity, I hope his ego hits the floor like a turd from a tall cows ass, shit-filled meatsack, masturbates to videos of Jar-Jar Binks, walking shart shooter, minge, moldy dingleberry on a roadkill swamp rat’s ass, test subject for Preparations A thru G, Remedy critch, Gnard gargling queefsquirt, stupid enough to try to sandpaper to a wildcat’s ass in a phone booth, Handgallop, twat, Obamawad, tool, bint, sleezebag, weaksauce, Gobshite, fuck hole, Pillsbury Dough Bitch, Should NOT be around WOMEN OR CHILDREN, touches himself inappropriately, Turd-Burglar, rimjobber, turd lizard of a roadkill opossum-humper, cum-dumpster, Inbred buck-toothed Swamp Donkey, Useless mangy crotch-dropping, Putz, rectal inspector, ferger, Sheep tits, gonad, queefer, chicken shit, choad, Puppy fucker, dopus, Blue Falcon and Blue Waffle, Fuck Apple with mold, twizzletits, tallywacker, Bozack, Gerbal Felcher, dingleberry, bitch, Saprophyte, ATM, pap smear, shitmitten, Dandy prat, Tazmanian Dorkwad rat fucking, shit-sucking warthog’s asshole, gimp, bescumber, coccydynia, sack of Siberian and stack of cum-stained hadji sheep shit”, mangina micropeen, Fuckrag, Syphilitic Turd Burglar, possibly likes to pick his teeth with his OWN used catheters, Hircismus, cheat, pope-fondling, turbo apeshit crazy, Cacafuego, Cock-juggling *Pussy* thundercunt.

      FUCK YOU, ASS HAMSTER!!!
      Here endith the lesson.

  5. I bet he uses his phony SEAL shtick to pick up dates when he’s blowing winos behind bus stops!

      1. Last time I ate at a Waffle House was back in 1996 just outside of Savannah GA. Ate there around midnight, and the memories are still seared into my brain to this day…

      2. Imagine being a you, slightly inebriated* Teamguy from the Pacific NW in a Waffle House for the first time ever @ 0300 or so while completely lacking any in-depth knowledge of college football and NASCAR.

        The discussions would have made millions of $ later if they’d only been videotaped. Especially the responses of the locals to the failure to answer the most simple questions by yours truly.

        I was educated more than once at a Waffle House, as scary as it sounds.

        On a positive note, I guarantee my naivete and honest demeanor got me laid in these situations more than once. Probably dozens of times but I only remember several of the more memorable/great ones. Probably for the best (the limited memories that is).

        * = semi-conscious/completely hammered

    2. I was attending the 2010 Iwo Jima Class Ship (LPH’S) reunion up in Nashville Tenn. and had the pleasure of dining out in a Waffle house. Being a 50’s guy, I loved the outfits that the workers wore in there.

    3. Anyone can say what they want to about “Awful Waffle” but as for me, I’ll take their Patty Melt and Hash Browns with Onions any day!

  7. His Facebook page (still opened of 10:51 this morning) has him sporting that Trident cap, and his likes include Impeach Trump Facebook page, AND Rachel Maddow. Because every genuine SEAL is a fan of Rachel Maddow.

  8. Posering dumbass should’ve stuck to the “U.S. Navy Retired” cap and he would have been fine, now he’s in a world of hurt from his own jackassery…

    1. If he was Medically Retired then his “U.S. Navy Retired” cap would have been legit, BUT NOOOOOOOOOOoooo, he just had to go full retard…

  10. Machinist’s Mate, huh? Does he even know what a screwdriver is?

    So he got a medical retirement and probably hasn’t done a lick of work since then. Yeah, he’s a winner, all right!!!

  11. Another Machinist Mate Wannabee Seal discracing the Engineering Dept. Hopefully he wasn’t in A Gang and a Floridian.

  12. The hat. Again with the fvckin’ hat.

    Teamguys can often ID other Teamguys due to some very specific markers on certain hats. None of these markers remotely resemble a Giant Golden Leg Spreader as seen on the FB picture.

  13. “Bessie fractured her taint and caught a medical retirement ”

    Took the words right out of my mouth/off the keyboard.

  14. I can honestly say I never ate at an *Awful House sober…Thank God I stopped drinking.

  16. This is BS!

    You can’t fracture the taint!

    Bruise YES.

    Fracture NO.

    I call this story FAKE NEWS.

    1. Ahh, but you can fracture your corpus callosum (an explanation for the Army/Air Force/Marines types: the tissue of the wee-wee). Did a Nuc Med study on a guy who had done this – on the down stroke said he. My thought was, ‘like it could happen on the up stroke?’ On the other hand, I suppose Lars could figure out a way to do it on the up stroke.

      I debated asking his girl friend if she would like me to check her for bruising, but then I remembered how many Navy/Marine guys to whom I had given penicillin.

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