Posted in

Joseph Offutt; phony Marine

by Jonn Lilyea••61

Our partners at Military Phonies send us their work on this fellow, Joe Offutt. His Marine Corps service isn’t available to the public, he says, because he “got fried”;

So he had one of his sock puppets send out stuff in bits and pieces, something about rectal trauma and posting medical records on a DD214;

So, they checked his single record system;

It showed 14 days of active duty and so does his FOIA;

I think he wins the prize for our shortest enlistment in ever. In comparison, he spent 7 months and 13 days on the Delayed Entry Program, so, you know, he’s almost retired.

You might also like

Democrats ask Aden to apologize; Aden doubles down on teh stupid

Stolen Valor in Red Square

L. Ron Hubbard and his stolen valor

61 thoughts on “Joseph Offutt; phony Marine”

        1. Looking at those buck teeth of his, someone could shove a handle up his ass and use his face for a rake.

  3. Just think of the untapped gold mine of PTSD claims for man rape in the military. To ashamed to go to sick call. Never documented. Stayed with them their entire life. Want to get paid now.

    He’s a pioneer I’m telling ya.

    3. It happened to one of the men in my unit at Fort Hood.

      He was white, and was gang raped by blacks in the stairwell of the barracks.

      The only reason I learned of it was I overheard some other guys talking about it and saying that if it happened to them, they would never admit it.

  8. Ya, the Big Green Weenie will get ya…some sooner than others.

    I pulled all my DD214’s…they never mentioned my rectal trauma. I need to submit another DD215 and have that shit corrected.

    Real Marines take it with a smile. Another loser that leaves a shit stain on the window of life.

    1. The only rectal trauma I ever had on AD was a pain-in-the-ass 1SG that loved to micromanage.

  9. This clown also claims to have been an EMT in Texas. Which isn’t true either.

    He was also collecting money for five fallen Police officers in TX. They received no money from him.

    But Hey, He wants to hug everyone.

    Brokeback Joseph is just that…Broke.

  10. Penial Paralysis, I have heard of.

    Rectal Trauma, just raises more questions than I am willing to ask.

  11. Someone dropped a bomb on him. Early in the morning, apparently.

    (you see what I did there??)

  13. Apparently his poor ol’ poop chute got “fried”…which is how he caught a case of the rectal trauma. Stolen Valor, PTSD, and gonoherpasypllaids all rolled into one.

    Asshole.

  15. Eat enough MRE’s and you might have some pretty severe rectal trauma, but not the kind he’s thinking of.

      1. It’s too late for me now; but, it might help those currently afflicted with MRE’s. Could a bean burrito cure that lower intestinal distress caused by weeks of nothing but MRE’s?

  16. In the remarks section it says “depressed mood” after “rectal trauma”…I’m guessing he was not faking that…

  17. Any guy that would say to me…”BARE with me and the truth will be OUT soon”, I’m slowly backing away from him and then exiting stage right.

    So many “innuendos” (not the Anderson. Pella, Marvin, or Milgard type).

    Damn, I need more hot, black coffee stat. 😉

  20. A whole 14 days AD. This joker has set a new record for the least accomplishment for anyone to ever wear the uniform. He has beat the Gunga Dan line by over 40 days. One has to wonder how any sane NCO would have recruited him. Too bad we can’t get his test scores.

  21. Clown.

    Who is that other turd with the cowboy hat? Roddy something or another.

    Anyway, this dude personifies the term “Queef”.

  22. His hat seems to fit pretty good. That ought to be enough for ordinary folks. Ah well, we all know better than that.

  24. What do you have to DO to prove yourself unredeemable in just 14 days? It boggles the mind.

Comments are closed.