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Flori-Duh. Yet Again.

by Hondo••39

Headline tells part of the story:

Florida man sits on gun,
shoots self in penis
 

Yeah, you read that right:  the damn fool apparently tried to use a loaded pistol with a round in the chamber as a seat cushion, and ended up shooting himself in the dong.

The part the headline doesn’t tell? He could be looking at doing time, too.

Apparently      this dumbass     the “fine individual” in question also has a substantial criminal record, including a previous conviction for cocaine possession.  At last report local authorities were considering whether he should be charged with unlawful possession of a weapon.

But on the bright side, here we could have an example of that rarest of individuals: a living Darwin Award recipient! (smile)

Happy 4th, everyone.  And happy 241st birthday, America.

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39 thoughts on “Flori-Duh. Yet Again.”

      1. Alternate head line;

        Negligent discharge leads to reduced discharge ability while enhanced charges pending.

  3. They say he’s also facing Felon in Possession of a Firearm charges as well as his Darwin Award-worthy deed.

  4. One persistent theme between his extensive criminal record, and his sitting on a loaded weapon? Piss poor judgment. 🙄 This is also a common theme that we see with the fakers and embellishers featured on this and on other sites. 🙄

        1. While the song was released as a single in 1996 (from their 2nd album, Fizzy Fuzzy Big & Buzzy), the song predates that by 2 to 4 years. It (along with all but 1 or 2 songs that later ended up on Fizzy Fuzzy Big & Buzzy) was first released on their 1994 independent album Wheelie.

          The song likely was written sometime between the band’s formation in 1992 and the recording of Wheelie in 1994 – my guess would be sometime in either 1992 or 1993, with 1993 as most probable. I’d also guess it was first publicly performed not long after it was written.

          Bottom line: if I was off above above, I was off by a year or so – not 4. (smile)

          1. Roger. Don’t know anything about the band or their songs. Really haven’t listened to any music (other than Doo-Wop/50s/60s Oldies) for 40 years. Just going by what was posted as 1996 in the YouTube thingy.

            Like I said, not poking. Therefore, I will break Gibbs Rule #6. (smile)

            1. Yea, God bless the Paragons, Jesters,Crows, Schoolboys, Capris on Gotham, Cadilacs, Bopchords, Channels, Paradons on Milestone, Heartbeats, Shep&limelites, Teenchords, Castelles on grand,The sixteens, Mellows,Belmonts, Valentines, Teenagers, Norman Fox &Robroys, Dell Vikings, Continentals, Vocaleers,Velvets,Bobby Robinson’s Red Robin Record label, Danileers, Frankie Lyman, Tiny Tim & the Hits,ETC. Now those were BOSS.

      1. Jeebus…. Was he packin a stolen Type 94 Nambu and sat on the exposed sear bar???
        Must have been a sub-Kyber home smithing job if he did.
        ….Or perhaps a Hi-Point 😝

          1. Hiooooooo! Lol

            A cartridge actuated Eunuch!
            I think he deserves a muffin basket for removing himself from the gene pool, hopefully before he pissed in it.

    3. “It was apparently an old gun, not in good working order.”

      Or a couple of idiots (one of them wearing a badge) just failed to keep their booger hook off the bang switch.

  7. “Florida”. Looking at a map of the Lower 48 US states, the outline of the shape of Florida, resembles, among other things, the lower part of a funnel. As we know, things settle. While many fine folks settle in Florida, so to, do the dregs of the country, the idiots, the dummies, even the Stolen Valorists, like Kyle Barwan. Ol’ Barwan, aka “Stretched”, will be arraigned tomorrow, July 5,’17, on the 3 charges that got him arrested May 25th. May he sweat in hell.

  10. Glock Penis!

    He was trying to conceal it Mexican style and it discharged into his junk. He didn’t sit on it.

  11. I pasted this on Frankie’s Facebook page when he linked it, but it bears repeating;

    The firearm had a pubic hair trigger.

  13. Dumbass! I’ve seen some dumb shit mangle the doers thereof in my career, but this one takes the friggin’ cake.

  14. Q: Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

    Cedric Jelks: (Sigh) It’s a gun.

  15. I’m just………I don’t………..I can’t…………..

    I got nothin’……..absolutely NOTHIN’ for this one.

    1. Well Dayamn. In addition to being arrested for cocaine possession, he also got charged with failure to pay child support.

    1. Not sure about that. But he’s definitely been put on his team’s “Physically Unable to Perform” list for a while, if not permanently.

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