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Iran Speaks Up, Offers ‘Roaring missiles’

Iran, through the Revolutionary Guard, is letting us know that they are vowing all sorts of nasty threats and blustering and stuff, like ‘roaring missiles’, just in case Pres. Trump tries to threaten them or enact sanctions.

I don’t know why their ayatollah isn’t issuing the statement. Maybe he has a cold.

http://www.reuters.com/article/us-iran-usa-military-idUSKBN15J0BM

So if they’ll just give us some notice, we can move those antimissile missiles left over from Kuwait/Gulf War into place and whack ’em, or something.   Do we still have any of those? Never mind.

Since Iran has not yet, to my knowledge, engaged in any kind of nuclear test, surface or underground, it seems a bit disingenuous on their part to issue a statement like that.  An underground nuke test will set seismometers chattering and the USGS would report it, just as they do with Norkiland when Fatty Kim da T’ird gets jiggy.  There’s also a seismic center in Europe that reports all subsurface movements and they will certainly pick up anything exceptional in Iran.

‘Roaring missiles’? Okay.  We can send Madonna and Ashley Judd over there.  That ought to solve the problem.

Sorry, I’m out of missile pictures.

29 thoughts on “Iran Speaks Up, Offers ‘Roaring missiles’

  1. In the one hand, bullets. In the other hand, a gun. Once you have both, the bullets go into the gun and the trigger is squeezed. Bang. Iran is developing the bullets (nuke warheads) and is testing its gun. I have no doubt that Israel agents are in Iran and will do everything to prevent the Bang possibility. This time around, Israel will quietly have the renewed friendship of a US administration.

    1. There is….or WAS a lot of good Iranian Christians in Iran….they need to leave A.S.A.P. so that the scum that is left can become the tar for the new parking lot that is forthcoming to that country!!

    1. Or the one back in the 80’s that went:

      24 empty tubes, a mushroom cloud, and it’s MILLER TIME!

  2. Iran is messing with the U.S., kinda like a toy teacup poodle messing with a Rottweiler given the attitude of the new administration in charge.

    1. Yep! They’re pushing to see how much “give” there is these days. I predict they’ll be sorely disappointed.

      1. It reminds me of what Quaddafi got after messing with the U.S. during the Reagan years, next thing he knew there were F-111’s overhead with the crews saying “SURPRISE, ASSHOLE!!!”.

    2. They are like the punk ass kids that like to jump over your fence and trash your lawn.
      In case they haven’t noticed we put down our 8 year old Tea Cup Poodle and now have a 250 Rottweiller.

  3. I know that this is an undiplomatic thing to say, but what I’d like to see is an unmarked air vehicle shoot down one of those when it’s launched, drop some leaflets with Reagan’s photo on them and ‘Remember me?’ under the photo.
    I would just love messing with their minds that way.

  4. Send Madonna and Ashley Judd over there? But I thought we had a policy against engaging in torture. Come on, as bad as they are, the Iranians are still human beings!

    1. Hell, send ’em Jane Fonda, Rosie O’Doughnut, Babs Streisand, Lena Dunham and Whoopi Goldberg as well, didn’t all of them other than “Hanoi Jane” promise to leave the USA when President trump got elected?

  5. President Trump just needs to send a Diplomatic Note (I think that’s the correct term)
    “Dear Goat Humpers,
    It’s nice to see that you are ‘testing’ missiles.
    We don’t need to test ours. They all work.
    Additionally, everybody knows you’re trying to develop nuclear weapons (don’t deny it, everybody knows).
    We have been perfecting ours since the 1940s. Those original ones worked just fine (ask the Japanese sometime). And they’ve just got better with time.
    Sincerely,
    The Guy with the nuclear launch codes.
    Donald J. Trump

    1. Or better yet:

      “Need some missiles and warheads? We’ll be happy to give you some of ours if you ask.”

    2. Or something like “WOULD YOU like to provoke us to the point where afterward your nation will be a glow-in-the-dark piece of land visible from outer space?”.

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