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Timothy Rossell; phony US Marshal

Timothy Rossell

Andy11M sends us links to the story of Timothy Rossell. He was also known as Deputy U.S. Marshal Austyn Gardner in Union, Missouri and in Fort Myers, Florida as Deputy U.S. Marshal Austyn Labella. Two women met him on dating websites and he fleeced them of tens of thousands of dollars and a couple of cars, including a white 2015 Lamborghini Gallardo. He also goes by the name Rosselli;

As Rosselli, he has active arrest warrants from Gasconade County for a 2012 felony theft case involving rented property, Ste. Genevieve County for a 2013 misdemeanor stealing case involving two puppies and a 2013 felony stealing case in Franklin County involving rented property.

[…]

In a Nov. 3, 2014, letter to the judge in Gasconade County case, Rossell used his real name and said he was born in Pennsylvania, and had been extradited there for felony charges, for which he was later sentenced to probation.

Pennsylvania court records list another alias, Remington Rosselli, and say he has pleaded guilty to theft by deception and other charges. He has also violated his parole there, the U.S. attorney’s office said. News reports say he has passed himself off as a Pennsylvania state constable and Missouri state trooper.

From KMOV, he had quite a collection of cars that he didn’t buy;

[Detective Sergeant John] Biser says Rossell convinced a victim in Ft. Meyers, Florida to buy the Lamborghini, Gallardo and a Corvette Z06, valued at $96,000. Brown says Rossell was very proud of the Lamborghini…Police say Rossell was engaged to the victim in Union and had convinced her to buy a Cadillac Escalade, Ford Mustang Shelby and a Can-Am Spyder 3-wheeled motorcycle.

I got nuthin’ – I can’t even get an ice cream cake for my birthday, let alone an Italian car.

35 thoughts on “Timothy Rossell; phony US Marshal

    1. A phony US Marshal and a non-CPO, disbarred lawyer would make a heck of a team, don’t you think?

      1. I am thinking along the lines of Hardcastle & McCormick. They just need a theme song that best subscribes them. Any suggestions?

          1. No! Hell no. The line: “Just good ol’ boys never meanin’ no harm”. let’s them both out of that theme song. And besides, it is a piece of Americana. Dumb and Dumber would be a better comparison, and whatever has to be the stupidest theme song ever to go with that.

    2. And dude can scam wimmens out of a Ferrari, but no luck with a shitty oil-spewing Jag.

      1. Perhaps he is a closet cocksucker.

        He does have a slight resemblance to Gimli son of Glóin.

  1. Geez. Is America a great country or what? Where else can a slob like this guy get himself multiple women to give him money and exotic cars?

  2. Well.
    Time for me to hit those dating websites, I guess. The method I’m currently using to try to “get ahead” with hard work and dedication clearly isn’t working as well as his plan.

  3. This guy is a turd! On the other hand if you’re that dumb, desperate and gullible there will be a never ending stream of shit-stains taking advantage of you.

  4. Chunky boy is gonna be a favorite in the poundhimintheass jail with the “boys” snarfing down cockmeat sammiches and tubesteak (with copious amounts of manmayo and nutbutter).

  5. “…..Ste. Genevieve County for a 2013 misdemeanor stealing case involving two puppies…..”

    He stole puppies??

    Kill the bastard!!!

  6. Jeeezuss girls: ya gotta get off the social media. Whaddya think God made bars for?

  7. I love how they caught the dumb son of a bitch, the tire on the Gallardo blew and he was trying to buy a bus ticket after abandoning the Gallardo…fuckin idjit.

  8. If I could have found a woman willing and able to buy me a Lambo when I was single, I would have married her and stopped there.

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