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John Sego; phony veteran

by Jonn Lilyea••66

John Sego

Someone sent us their work on this doofus, John Sego. Yeah, the boy isn’t wired too tightly, but he runs his mouth entirely too much and gives everyone a bad impression about folks in uniform. He claims that he’s a “Commander Sergeant Major”, that he’s Special Forces, Ranger and, of course, a sniper and demolitions. All of his records have been destroyed because the government doesn’t want us to know that they turned this killer loose on the general population.

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Here are some interviews that someone did with him – I punched out early because I couldn’t stand to look at those pudgy legs while listening to his doofus voice.




The National Personnel Records Center says “Who?” if you couldn’t tell.

John Sego FOIA

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66 thoughts on “John Sego; phony veteran”

  1. Cool an 82nd patch with sniper on it.
    Two patches in one helps out if your stolen valor is on a budget.

  4. Of all the Command(er) Sergeants Major I ever met, this one is by far the baaaaaaadest of all.

  5. Jeebus…this pisses me off even more so than usual, because I know a real ‘nam GB with that same last name. ahmma have to get this to him.

  6. If you want to be a s*#%bird who cannot fly, make sure you go FULL s*#%bird so you crash harder.

  7. I punched out early, too, Jonn, not because of his pudgy legs, but because I can’t process that much stupid all at once.

    I had a guy come into my Legion Post, when I was the Commander, looking for help with his bills. He claimed he was a Beirut Vet, so I listened to his story and when he got to the claims of 82nd Airborne and Sniper, I started to get quite interested. Then, when he claimed that a Colonel was ordering him to take out a civilian target while holding his sidearm on him and saying if he didn’t shoot, he (the Colonel) would shoot him, I had had enough and told him he was full of shit and to get out of my Post.

    This chucklehead’s story is just as bad.

    2. His sniper story comes from a Daman Wayans movie called Most Wanted (1997). It sucked half as bad as this turds story. Can one of our ninjas find and post?

  8. Like to take him out for his one and only qualifying jump. He’d make a nice crater on Sicily DZ.

      1. “HANO”. . . LOVE IT!!
        I presume that’s High Altitude No Opening?

        And. . . .may I? I’d love to use that in my descriptions of how we should return muzzies back to their “homelands”. By plane. Dropping them off at the nearest airport. Without landing. HANO. Kind of like that, ya’know.

        1. HANO is free domain, have at it.

          ..and I’ve actually used the C-5 nose ramp shtick to talk to phony parachutists….great jump baybee

      2. HANO is too good for him, but the only option. Put him on a pallet and let him roll on out the tail. He can have dreams of his birth, from whatever whale gave birth to that piece of whale shit.

    2. This turd is dumb enough to believe that the first jump is without a parachute, just to qualify to draw a chute for the next jump.
      3 of my facebook friends are on his list, and have been notified. All three of them are verified real deal types.
      They will not like this.

      1. Fukk it….what happens in the aircraft stays in the aircraft, take him up and toss him out.lol

    3. Courtesy of Megadeth:

      Do it if you dare
      Leaping form the sky
      Hurling through the air
      Exhilarating high
      See the earth below
      Soon to make a crater
      Blue sky, black death
      I’m off to meet my maker

  9. To the interviewer, I will send Sego 10 bucks if he will face the camera and say, “Chevy, I am your father.”

      1. I think in the big scheme of things API, I just evened the score a little bit…but I still think you owe me a few.

  10. Well, the videos were painful to watch, but since I’m at work and I kinda like pain I watched them.

    I thought it was particularly funny in video 3 that he took exemption with a real veteran donning his uniform.

    1. Oh dayamm…now that puts a picture in my mind, strap him to a pallet and send him out…that would be quite the scene.

        2. Somewhere a Property Book Officer is dancing with glee at thoughts of all the stuff that was on that pallet that streamered in. I saw a W2 ecstatic beyond belief when he got reports of several heavy drops streamering into a swamp AND burning, during a Swift Strike in SC.

          The survey officer commented that he understood why the drop streamered given all the crap that was supposedly on the pallet, but he wondered how the 130 ever got in the air with that supposed load.

          2. Well, individually, 250 mattresses and 600 sets of bed linen don’t weigh all that much, but when strapped down to a pallet, well, you know what I mean.

  14. If these morons keep this up, Stolen Valor may end up in the DSM manual as a recognized form of mental illness.

      1. Did you read about Post-Traumatic Slave Disorder (PTSD)or the proposal to change pedophilia to intergenerational sex?

        Some nerds just need a thumb in the eye.

        1. No, I have not heard about either one of those…and I agree with your ‘treatment plan’ on both!

      1. I agree, but I’m convinced most liberals at heart mean well, but they think that just because they have a checkbook that means that they have money in the bank. Reality just doesn’t figure into their equation.

  16. I wonder if he isn’t as brain damaged as Lance Whipple, I already assume that both of them are recipients of a badly botched lobotomy. You could throw him in the river and skim STUPID for two weeks!!

  18. So when are we doing the Fecal four again ?????
    I think we have enough candidates for a epic run this year

  22. I got through about 20 seconds and had to turn it off. I couldn’t understand a word he was saying. It sounds like he is gargling with a mouth full of rabbit shit.

  23. 82nd Airborne Vietnam Veteran?

    Not likely. He may have a little salt&pepper in his beard, but I’m willing to bet he was only just a newborn during the time that the 3rd Bde 82nd did their tour in Vietnam.

    Too much baby fat left on him to be that old. But he does give Hitlery a run for the money when it comes to cankles.

      1. Yep. I know.

        That’s what I was talking about. He’s way too young. He was probably filling diapers at a very rapid pace at that time.

        Now on the other hand, his sperm donating father may have been with 3/82 and he’s only wearing the hat to “honor him.”

      2. And especially not when (in the interview video) he says he spent two years in the Navy before switching over to the Army.

        Then he says he spent 15 years in the Army and it only took him six years of Army time to rocket up to the rank of Commander Sergeant Major.

        That’s a first. A Shake&Bake CSM.

        1. The False Commander Sergeant Major John Sego.

          The False Commander Phil Monkress (CEO of All-Points Logistics) just found his “Right Arm”.

        2. Ya’ll see what I did there, right?

          Shake&Bake = Pillsbury Dough Boy.

          Hah Hah, I’m so funny. Just call me the Joker.

  25. Some of what you guys say is just priceless. So let me get this straight down your throats.

    This twig was NOT part of the Third Herd, but he WAS part and party to the Third Turd.

    He never saw a C-rat he didn’t like.

    Donut dollies everywhere feared him.

    His parachute school was in the bouncy house. He was the ballast that kept it steady in a high wind.

    He never complained about chow because he liked dogs.

    He thought the gedunk medal was his award for perfect attendance at the EM Club on the all-you-can eat buffet night.

    He takes the size of Vienna Sausages personally.

    That part about HANO jumps? That was when the plane was flying backwards.

  27. Alright, I only made it through 3 minutes of the first video… has ANYONE made it through all of them?

      1. GT you’re probably right. I bet the hot air he’s spewing smells similar to what she’s violently expelling!!

        Sorry guys, I should have given a NSFW warning.

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