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Lance Whipple; phony Air Force captain

by Jonn Lilyea••68

Lance Whipple (1)

Someone sent us their work on this Lance Allen Whipple fellow. He shows up in his local bar in East Lansing, Michigan wearing his uniform for free food and drinks and friendship. He even has a “Top Gun” bomber jacket to complete the ensemble. And, he makes the rounds at his local hospital to lift the spirits of patients;

Lance Whipple (4)

Lance Whipple (5)

He even got married in his uniform and his phony finery. I see some Desert Storm stuff in there.

Lance Whipple (6)

In barroom conversation, he claims that he was in Afghanistan (years after the war against the Soviet Union and years before our war there) and Desert Storm in the 90s. The National Personnel Records Center disagrees with him. They say that he spent 35 days in the Air Force in 1979 and he was discharged as an E-1.

Whipple FOIA2

There may be a forged DD214 involved in this case. Locals may want to check that out.

Added: Lance sends these DD214s;

Whipple DD214 1

Whipple DD214 2

UPDATE 3/16/2016; I guess our meeting has been postponed while Heidi is writing the check for his bail;

Whipple arrest

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68 thoughts on “Lance Whipple; phony Air Force captain”

    1. I doubt he is tough enough to squeeze the Charmin.

      My best guess is that ne gets his Charmin squeezed.

      This turd appears to be one of those “serial” posers. looks like he has been up to this bull shit for a long time.

      I have an odd feeling that his family is about to be in for one hell of a surprise.

      Dirtbag.

    3. Wonder if he belongs to the prison veterans group. Is the VA visiting him to make sure he receives his full benefits for his 35 days of service?

  5. How many free food spreads has he visited, for Pete’s sake? He needs to engage in that pushing exercise.

  6. A whopping 35 DAYS in the AF? Wow, he beats Giduck, maybe they need to have a shovel duel?

  7. It’s the name that got to me: Lance Whipple.

    I knew a guy in college named Lance. Lance Hansom. Dumber than marshmallows on a barrel cactus.

    2. Lance Whipple? That dude should have joined the Army and requested an assignment to a unit with MGM-52s. (smile)

    3. A USMC Vet that I worked with told me about a Sailor on one ship whose last name was Staines. Yeah, Seaman Staines, I bet the first few years of his career were a real joy!

          1. During my AD days I served with another troop whose last name was Dick, yeah, i bet the DS’s had a ball yelling for “Private Dick” when he was in Basic & AIT!

    4. I actually met a guy whose surname was Corporal…and his first name was “Lance.”

  9. Finally a phony Air Force tough guy. Claiming to go to Afghanistan during the Soviet Era? Bold move. I guess he thinks nobody will look at this and mock him.

    I guess he choose AF branch thinking it might be legit enough claim that not a single person would question his idiocy.

  12. The shoulder boards in one picture appear to be Army issue. Maybe he has a time machine and actually joined the USAAF.

    1. Good catch. They are. And a lot of “lettuce” he’s wearing, although the photos are fuzzy and it’s a little difficult to see exactly what he’s got.

      1. Not so fuzzy that my old eyes couldn’t pick out the Purple Heart he’s rocking in the wedding photo.

        Bottom row, first ribbon inboard, sure looks like a PH to me.

  13. Pingback: Lance Whipple; phony Air Force captain : This ain’t Hell, but you can see it from here | Military Phonies

  17. Another Basic Training washout pretending to be larger-than-life war hero, in this case a Steve Canyon-wannabee. Pure 100% poser douchebag…

  18. In his wedding photo he was too cheap to buy the entire uniform and had a relatively limited ribbon rack. Once he had the entire uniform and gained a few pounds, apparently the rack expanded, too! If I knew that’s how it worked I would have gained more weight sooner.

  19. Last time I read the regulation regarding wearing the uniform by military retirees, it was very specific about when and where. Trying to get free drinks at the bar is not one of those places.

  20. H’rm; only several weeks of service, and in peacetime too.

    How much ya wanna’ bet that there was an AWOL involved there?

  21. O. K. so some of us know it is a teaser. But we want to know the name of the bar that he frequents. The hospital, even if more than one, will be easy to locate. The bar’s name would be the icing on this POS piece of cake.

      2. Thanks, Commentor. This may take some time calling those top ten bars at a time when I can speak with someone who knows his crowd. This time of night would not be it. I will return with the name of his favorite bar,if it is among these ten…..COUNT ON IT!!!!!!

        He need be ready to receive his honors. We all know how mooches and phonies are so admired at bars running their game. This is going to be easier than motivating a journalist who had never been in the service.

    2. The Brookshire Inn and Golf Course, Williamston Mich.

      The Blue Gill Bar and Grill, Haslett, Mich.

    3. Sparrow Hospital. He is also a director of the Commanders Club, Lansing, MI. Claims to be special ops.

          1. The opening sentence of their vision statement: “The Commanders Club of Michigan shall be an organization for men and women of quality”.

            I guess they “missed the boat” on this clown.

            1. I wonder what the initiation fee is for the Commanders Club?

              It seems to be the only prerequisite for membership.

          2. Just got done reading some of the stuff on the website – looks like a social club version with links to the Navy/Marine Corps/Coast Guard. Seems like they do some good things for Sea Cadets, etc.

            I wonder what their reactions would be to one of their Directors being a SV phony?

      2. Why would my sister be stalking my husband? hmmm. Why would you be saying nasty crap about him. Neither one of us have spoken to you in 2 years. Go away and leave us alone. I have an attorney. GO AWAY.

        1. you have brought all this crap to my door step. get ready because Lance searved and you will pay under slander. I promise. You should have just stayed away princess.

          2. Did he serve the lunch or dinner crowd? I pictured him more as a dishwasher than a server.

            Why isn’t he here defending himself? Oh yeah – he knows he’s wrong.

  22. The only TOP this guy is aka a BOTTOM. Phonies, bullies, cowards, liars, etc. love the attention but lack the courage and/or integrity to ascertain said good qualities.

  23. Does he have a job anywhere or is probation pretty much it? He’s not on our Pararescue roster but you all knew that already. I think I need to speak with him soon!

    1. Oh no….shiat just got sooper cereal now that LD is here.
      I wonder if old Lance here has ObummerCare?
      Taking LD’s boot out of his ass is going to cost a pretty penny.

      “I wonder how old Gay Jay Kerwin is doing these days.” ??
      🙄 😀

    1. Interesting. Felon in possession. That’s gonna hurt.

      That boat club thing still lists him as a director. Looks like felons have good enough character for them.

      Note to area hospitals: You might want to keep this clown out of your pediatric units.

    2. Oooh, he gonna get some quality time with Bubba & Thor before he gets shared with the rest of his cell block!! ??

    3. Well, it’s an opportunity to wear a uniform again, orange, for about 5 to 10 years, I guess. Maybe they’ll let him pin a military free-fall badge on it, too.

      Funny, all of the civic type organizations that I belong to have a membership clause regarding “good moral character” meaning that membership can be denied or revoked for felons. I guess that the boat club missed that one.

  26. In the top pic he is wearing the enlisted Parrescue (PJ) Flash with the beret. Combat Rescue Officers which are called (CRO’s) only wear rank on the maroon beret. Also on the service dress it looks like he is wearing Civil Air Patrol(CAP) Wings.

    Also on the light blue shirt. He is wearing Army Captains epaulet sleeves vs the blue AF ones. The way to tell is the Air Force, company grade officers do not have a stripe on the end of the epaulet. The Air Force only Field grade officers have that, where as al Army officers do. Also in the Air Force… It is an unwritten rule, but officers don’t typically wear ribbons on the light blue shirt sort of like how Army officers don’t wear shooting badges. Also he is wearing the name tag on the light blue shirt like the Army on the pcket flap. The AF wears the name tag above the pocket flap.

    Also it looks like he is wearing some sort of major command “Cookie” on the right pocket. We wear those on the left. Also it is not centered.

    In the Air Force our official term for this guy is “Goober,” or “Goob,” for short.

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