47 thoughts on “The minimum effort valor thief

    1. Seems like some people need to TAKE that uniform off the slug then give the a.h.. a good G.I. shower, scrub brushes and all! or, if that doesn’t suffice, a tattoo across the forehead, liar-stolen valor!

  1. Anyone have a small portable flame thrower to us on these douchenozzles?

    1. http://throwflame.com/

      You are legally allowed to purchase a flamethrower under federal law, and 40 states have no laws against owning the weapon. Though it’s restricted in some states, such as California, unlicensed possession is only considered a misdemeanor.

  2. New from “Shitbags Are Us”, “This Guy”! Available in front of stores and street corners near you everywhere.

  3. Hey, this guy’s legit! I served with him in the “33rd Out of the Pentagon”. It’s so secret squirrel that the outfit receives no funding so that all unit personnel have to go out and panhandle on the street in between missions and everything…

  4. I think he meant 33 and a third…he’s clearly a low rpm motherfucker not capable of high speed anything…

      1. Yeah, I’m getting to the point where there’s no denying that reality…

    1. I clearly understood that to be “Dirty turds out of the Pentagon.”

      But then my ears have been ringing since ’66.

  5. They did a pretty good job confronting the guy.I have never seen anyone that ate up but I have encountered the more insidious types who actually did serve and sling so much BS I have to really reign myself in.

    We have a local yokel that’s apparently been telling people he and his unit ringed their FOB with the severed heads of the “terrorists” they killed placed on poles which kept them from getting attacked and that his highly specialized training in hand to hand combat requires him to notify the government when he goes anywhere…..I can’t wait to meet up with this f***er.


    1. GB,
      He probably wasn’t lying. He was just not telling you everything as you didn’t have a “need to know”.

      “His highly specialized training in hand to hand combat requires him to notify the government when he goes anywhere…”

      Is really code for “I’m a Master at Hand to Gland combat and since I’ve been forced to display my talents from time to time, there’s this thing called the Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender registry as as part of the Department of Justice, of which, I’m part of … SO, yeah, you could say I’m a *Pretty Big Deal*” 😉

    2. I used to have to report to the government when I go somewhere, but now, Dan Bernath does that for me, so I have that going for myself.

      1. ROFL!!!

        Nice to have the alert squad taking care of communications…although that poor fellow does seem to struggle with comprehension from time to time so who knows what information is actually transmitted.

      2. I know a bunch of people who have to report to the Government every day…Wait my bad it was their parole officers. Bernice will have to report after he finishes serving his prison sentence.
        IF he gets out a great Welcome Home gift would a round hemorrhoid cushion. I’m absolutely sure that he will end up being a bitch for a big muscular lifer who doesn’t give a damn.
        As a child molester and rapist, he’ll be in the group of the most hated. CPO just might be a bitch to more then one person.
        I hope the guys don’t like using KY Jelly. The poor doc who has to look at his ass in the infirmary will have to see from outside the door.
        Big fat juicy hemorrhoids that squirts blood Bernie will be wearing extra large sanitary napkins or super large diapers I have to go,can’t see the letters through the tears rolling out if my eyes from LMAO

      3. You laugh but he may be doing aerial surveillance and could end up in your living room!

        1. He couldn’t make it through the front door, windows, etc. One word and K-9 trained Indie will rips his balls off. My son will stuff it down his throat and I’ll duck tape his filthy mouth shut. We’ll call 911 and hope he either chokes or bleed out. I’m sick to death from his disgusting emails and I will never stop posting on this site. He’s a pissed off fat slob because I can’t be found. After my son read one of his threats, thank god he only broke his hand by hitting the garage door instead of Bernie’s smug face. Now I have to be escorted by my son to the prick’s California Bar hearing. This was between us and he’s got my family pissed off. Although my son has tattoo art all over, the kid never had a ticket or been arrested. He’s mellow, but threaten mom and say he’s going to fill my mouth with his..I’ve never seen my son that pissed off. I hope he doesn’t say anything at the hearing, I don’t want my son going to jail. Just from what I’ve read about the dick, I’m bringing bail money.

  6. “We had a whole division in church…” did I really hear that correctly? My wife showed me this last night. If it wasn’t so freaking hilarious I would get mad. What is it with these freaking idiots???

  7. Nothing says ultra-secret power warrior like wearing a screwed up everything. And his gift for oratory and argument seals it, not to mention his distended liver and, no doubt, rot-gut breath. Legit.

  8. The 33rd out of the Pentagon?

    The 33rd what? Sandwich battalion? Coffee coalition? Clarity is not his strong point, is it?

    1. He served with 33? I think that he mean’t to say that he served 33. In other words, they sent him on a beer run, and he picked up some Rolling Rock.

      1. No idea why I put an apostrophe in meant. Hack Stone Publishing regrets the error.

  9. He won’t even make the cut to appear in the tourney.

    “Sticky Bums” for the win!!

  10. “The dammed” 33rd INF DIV was a fictional unit made famous in the video game “spec ops: the line” (for you old timers think “apocalypse now” in current day Dubai with a bunch of SF brochachos)
    Nice job scumbag couldn’t at least pretend to be in a real unit?

    1. Surprised he’s not claiming “Ghost” status as well.

  11. I don’t see any rank on his clothing or patches. He is just wearing camouflage. Those guys should leave him alone. He obviously has a mental health problem. He might even be a veteran.

    1. He is probably a drunk looking for his next bottle.
      I wouldnt say they shouldn’t call the guy out, but the went a bit overboard in demanding he take off his clothing.
      Best course in my opinion is to question the guy, tell him he is full of shit and then if he doesnt admit to it, back off. The guy had nothing to lose and will just keep lying to your face. A better course of action after that would be to cross the street and keep filming.
      A queit professional narration with the terd as a prop would be a better way to approach it.

  12. Maybe he’s a member of the 69th San Francisco Rainbow Flag Militia?

  13. If he is really in the military, have him whip out his DIC.

    Come on people, of course I meant his Driver Improvement Card.

  14. Well the RPA/Drone guys take shit all the time. I’m sure my friends back at the 33rd Specilal Ops Squadron flying the Reapers will be glad to know they have their own poser……even if he is wearing the wrong uniform.

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