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Darnell Pixley; polygamist phony

by Jonn Lilyea••37

Darnell Pixley

So this is Darnell Pixley, who thought that as long as he was fooling five women into marrying him, he might as well pretend to be in the Army, too. He was as bad a bigamist as he was a soldier though, according to WIST;

The woman, whose identity has been protected by the Newberry County Sheriff’s Office, filed a complaint with investigators after she saw wedding photos of her husband, 49-year-old Darnell Pixley, with another woman on Facebook.

The incident report says the woman then found the marriage license of the November 2013 ceremony.

“Then she decided that she wanted to follow through with it. As absurd as it sounds, and as kind of bizarre that it might be that a man would have multiple wives, it is illegal,” said Sheriff Lee Foster.

Pixley was arrested Wednesday and charged with bigamy.

[…]

Foster says his investigators found two other women to whom Pixley was married. The women lived in Aiken, Saluda, and Richland counties. Foster says there may be more wives.

“We don’t know his motive yet,” Foster said.

Pixley’s previous marriages date back to 1988.

Looking at the sergeant brass rank pinned to the lapel of his Army Dress Blue jacket, I’m guessing that he’s never been in the Army. I know he’s not in AKO.

I noticed that the dog in that picture is trying to stay ahead of the two in case they succumb to a bout of gravity. At least Chevalier had the decency to get divorces from his six wives.

wistv.com – Columbia, South Carolina |

Thanks to Adirondack Patriot for the link.

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37 thoughts on “Darnell Pixley; polygamist phony”

  1. And for our first contestant on “Are You Dumber Than A Blobfish”, let’s give a warm TAH welcome to Mr. Darnell Pixley of South Carolina!!

  2. At least Chevalier had the decency to get divorces from his six wives.

    Zing! for the Chevy reference.

      1. In the “creep Chevy voice”: “Those women got what was coming to them…it was me or the cheese. I am a god damn meat shield for them!”

  3. I just want to cater his next wedding. From the looks of things there has to be some money in that. I would make a joke about how many wives a man needs but I have this bad feeling there are kids being caught up in all of his bullshit and doubt they know what a father should be like.

    2. Funny you should mention that.

      During a brief period in 2003, I worked at Camp Arifjan where there were a few Kuwaiti AF members whom I grew acquainted and worked with. One guy in particular, a Kuwaiti 1stSgt (IIRC) named Sabeh, would come in one or two days in a great to moderate mood and the rest of the week he would be in a terrible one.

      As he would tell it, the reason for his mood swings was because he claimed to get along with just one of the three wives he had.

    1. Yup, I agree. I was trying to think of something relevant, or something funny, but realized that this huge poor excuse for an anal cavity doesn’t deserve my lame attempt to be funny.

      What a frigging low life.

      1. Hell, look at the guy. If he’s not rich, maybe it’s the only way he can get any “girlie action”!

  6. Let me guess:

    The dog is for his PDTS he caught in the “War for Global Terrorists”.

    The dog quells his rage and pain!

    1. Mr Wolf…My money is on, the dog is there in case he needs a snack and there’s no drive through around. I bet he could snarf that little pooch down faster than a Super Size Double Quarter Pounder W/Cheese Meal…extra cheese, extra fries.

      1. Faster than a bum on a ham sandwich or even faster than Phildo on a meaty Johnston.

        1. Green Thumb…Just read this. Thanks…I spit diet coke all over my screen! You da man! 😀

  8. Don’t forget, 3 billion men in the world and these women all said:

    “Baby, YOU are the one for me!”

  9. Poor dog. Kinda looks like one of mine. Fortunately for my dogs, Daddy is not a polygamous phony piece of shit.

  11. Easy explanation for this. Looking at the size of these women my man was into poke’mon and he was collecting all the Buffarillas

  14. My apologies if this offends the fairer sex, but I have to ask a question.

    I’m married to one woman. Who is the nine hells would ever want to be married to SIX???

  18. From Roughing It, by Mark Twain

    Our stay in Salt Lake City amounted to only two days, and therefore we had no time to make the customary inquisition into the workings of polygamy and get up the usual statistics and deductions preparatory to calling the attention of the nation at large once more to the matter.

    I had the will to do it. With the gushing self-sufficiency of youth I was feverish to plunge in headlong and achieve a great reform here–until I saw the Mormon women. Then I was touched. My heart was wiser than my head. It warmed toward these poor, ungainly and pathetically “homely” creatures, and as I turned to hide the generous moisture in my eyes, I said, “No–the man that marries one of them has done an act of Christian charity which entitles him to the kindly applause of mankind, not their harsh censure–and the man that marries sixty of them has done a deed of open-handed generosity so sublime that the nations should stand uncovered in his presence and worship in silence.”

  20. In looking at this picture fat boy here looks like he actually expanded in size overnight.

  21. Looks like the starting offensive guard and tackle from the New York Giants……..

    “East Right Flop, V Right all the way outside, Y Left, Fake 396 Bag, V Hinge, Z Puck, on two. Ready? BREAK!”

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