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Christopher Lang; another wedding album phony

Christopher Lang Budweiser

Scotty sends us his work on Christopher Lang, that’s him above wearing the SEAL trident while cutting the wedding cake with his new bride. I’ll bet he’s glad that he didn’t invite Derek Church to the wedding, so everyone can have a slice.

But Christopher was in the Navy – well, Navy Reserves and his long and storied career barely fits on his FOIA;

Christopher Lang FOIA

Yup, he spent more than five entire months in the Reserves. His only award is the National Defense Service Medal, so he has that going for him. But it looks like he never even made it to boot camp, let alone BUD/S. So, Congratulations, Christopher, you’re famous now. Lucky for you, Secretary Mabus declared the entire Navy to be SEALs.

32 thoughts on “Christopher Lang; another wedding album phony

  1. Here. Here’s the h. Kindly place it to the right of the ‘a’ in each bla. Thanks.

  2. Any Trekkies? Remember the Tribbles? Just like them thse damned posers are multiplying at a massive and unsustainable rate. Except the posers are not cute and cuddly creatures, even in their infancy…

  3. Yeah, the tribbles simply ate and reproduced.

    Maybe there’s a way to make use of all this wannabe-a-sojer stuff, like round them up, put them into a ‘special’ company, and send them off ahead of the real troops to the next war zone, with guns and everything. You could use that diptsick posing in the snow in a Speedo as a poster boy for it.

    Get everyone located in one place, say things that make them feel good about themselves, give them basic weapons instruction and a ‘special snowflake’ medal with a big ‘S’ on the ribbon bar, and send them in as the first wave. Make sure they have plenty of donuts and coffee to start the day, give them mac and cheese mid-day with soda, and in the evenings, hot dogs on a stick and a quart of ice cream.

    We could even send in the Inhaler, as a scout. He’s psychic, you know.

  4. And as we wake this day, Chief Shipley is squaring away “The Hair” for another day of addressing fakers. This guy looks as if he will shit himself before hanging up the phone from Don’s call.
    I noticed at this turd’s Facebook page, that, among other vocations, that he is a “Bounty Hunter”, perhaps one of the bigger civilian trades chosen by posers.
    And a member of the pipefitters union. Perhaps he wears the Trident because he “Seals” leaky pipes. Yes, that’s it, that makes wearing it legal. He is a “Sealer”.
    They just won’t quit, will they.

  5. Looks kinda like Pee Wee Herman to me.

    Wonder if he likes going to movies in south Florida and engaging in “recreational activities” while watching, too?

  6. REAL DEAL:

    1. Squared away hair cut and Dixie Cup.
    2. Unit Rocker (UIM) mounted half way down right arm.
    3. The look of a killer as he gazes at wedding cake anticipating it’s lucious filling.
    4. Clean shaven.
    5. Trident!

    BUPERS NOTICE 1020

    From: Chief of Naval Personnel
    To: All Ships and Stations (less Marine Corps field addressees not having Navy personnel attached)

    Subj: Unit Identification Marks (UIM)
    Ref: (a) US Navy Uniform Regulations, 1981

    Encl: (1) List of Authorized Units
    (2) Contract and Ordering Information

    1.Purpose. To promulgate information and authorization for wearing Unit Identifcation Marks (UIM).

    2.Background. UIMs originally stem from the unit name cap ribbon, which was a mark of distinction for seagoing personnel. UIMs were authorized for operating forces personnel prior to the introduction of the service dress blue coat and tie style uniform in 1973. With the return to the traditional jumper uniform, and in keeping with the pride and professionalism program, UIMs are being reintroduced for wear on the Naval uniform. The primary objectives of wearing UIMs are to provide public recognition as members of the Operating Forces and enhance unit pride.

    3.Eligibility Criteria. Enclosure (1) lists those units considered eligible to wear UIMs with examples of approved abbreviations. Subunits of authorized units will wear the unit identification mark of the parent command. For the purpose of determining eligibility to wear UIMs, units must meet one of the following criteria:

    a.operational Staffs;
    b.commissioned Ships and Squadrons (Includes Naval Reserve Reinforcement and Augment Personnel); and,
    c.units whose mission requires shipboard or advanced base operations.

    4.Discussion. Enlisted personnel below chief petty officer assigned to any of the types of operational Naval forces listed enclosure (1) for permanent duty are authorized to wear UIMs on the right sleeve of service dress jumper uniforms, winter blue shirts and short sleeved white shirts. These marks shall be in ¼ inch white block lettering embroidered on black background ½ inch wide and shall be worn parallel to and with top edge 3/8 inch below lower row of shoulder sleeve stitching. They shall be centered on the outer face of the sleeve and shall be sewn on with colorfast blue thread. UIMs are authorized in two lengths, 5 inches and 5-3/4 inches, to accommodate length of unit names. The lettering on the UIMs shall be in accordance with the approved abbreviation of the particular unit. Upon reporting for duty, E1 through E6 personnel will be issued UIMs, seven for men and six for women. Organizations are authorized to purchase UIMs from O&MN funds. UIMs will be ordered in accordance with procedures at enclosure (2).

    5.Action

    a.Commanding Officers shall disseminate the information as appropriate.

    b.This notice shall be filled with reference (a).

    6.Cancellation Contingency. This notice is canceled when incorporated into reference (a).

    DAVID L. HARLOW
    Deputy Chief of Naval Personnel

  7. I just noticed more evidence of REAL DEAL:

    He is wearing a UIM for NAV SPEC WAR DEV GRU!

    REAL DEAL!

    If you don’t like it … GET OUT!

  8. I wonder, is Christopher Lang seeking fame? We are able to assist in in that effort, as we’ve helped so many before him. Just fire up the ol’ Gooooooooogleizator and let er rip.
    Christopher Lang, Christopher Lang, Christopher Lang, Christopher Lang, Christopher Lang, Christopher Lang,
    Just to get the ball rolling.

  9. Why would anyone wear a uniform that is one step up from dungarees to his wedding? I guess that he couldn’t spring for the fake crackerjacks and medals.

  10. Hondo beat me to the Pee Wee Herman reference…another pathetic poser seal…

  11. Apparently he didn’t get the word about the Johnny Cash’s
    (Winter Working Blues) being phased out:

    NAVADMIN 343/08

    SUBJ/UNIFORM UPDATE//
    1. THIS NAVADMIN ANNOUNCES THE 24 MONTH FLEET ROLLOUT OF THE NEW NAVY WORKING UNIFORM (NWU) BEGINNING DECEMBER 2008.

    2. THE NWU IS INTENDED FOR YEAR-ROUND WEAR AND SHALL BE THE STANDARD WORKING UNIFORM ASHORE. THE NWU IS DESIGNED TO ACCOMMODATE MALE AND FEMALE SAILORS AND TO FULFILL MULTI-FUNCTIONAL/GEOGRAPHICAL UNIFORM REQUIREMENTS AT SEA AND ASHORE. THE NWU WILL REPLACE WORKING UTILITIES, TROPICAL WORKING UNIFORMS, WASH KHAKIS, WINTER WORKING BLUE…

  12. Jonn, Slightly off topic but I saw that our friend A.J. Dicken is in the news again. It seems that the training videos he made in Nevada showed him shooting guns, guns, that as a felon, he is prohibited from possessing. Now Nevada wants to charge him with charges of ‘felon in possession’. Lets hope they get the warrants in to the NCIC system. Perhaps a little friendly persuasion could get the charges transferred to the federal system. I think they are still guaranteeing five years per count. Easy peasy, watch the videos, count the guns, and it’s “Good by A.J.”.

  13. “NA” for military education. There’s a good possibility that Christopher Lang only did the Delayed Entry Program/Future Soldier deal, and didn’t go further than that. Like what was already mentioned, didn’t even make it to boot camp/basic.

    He can’t even claim to be a veteran; war, special forces, regular, or any other kind of military veteran.

    I sent a message to Christopher Lang’s wife, and select other hot women on his friends list. I explained some things, and warned them about the “it’s secret” claims they may have heard.

    I linked back to this page. 😀

  14. Why are these idiots wearing costumes anyway? Are they that jealous of the costumes the brides wear, and just want in on some of that make believe action?

  15. Christopher Lang the fake Navy SEAL, another “Pee Wee Herman” , I wonder if he has a spandex-wearing fetish like a certain bloated T-bird guzzling character in MD? I’m sure he loves handling pipes, kowhutimean?

    Christopher Lang the fake Navy SEAL (GH!)

  16. lol, this guy is a real bad ass looking at the screen caps over at the linked page. on face book not only is he a pipefitter, but he has been a “bounty hunter” from 1997 to the present. Nothing sounds more bad ass than a Ex-SEAL/Bounty hunter.

  17. I would like to cast a vote for Ex-PH2 (post #4)for Post of the Day! (if such a thing exists…)

    Funny stuff!

  18. There are so many of these guys that I’m going to start recommending that women do a background check before getting serious with their new date. Googling isn’t good enough anymore. You can bet that the little wife has NO idea and someone who would lie about military service will lie about anything.

  19. I sent him a friendly message; no reply. Is it me, or does he look like a young Clay Aiken?

  20. Seems legit even though I have no idea how you water dogs are ‘posed to dress up. lol

  21. I used to think NJ had the best poseurs. I was wrong. Flori-DUH has Jersey beaten with a metal pipe, broken, and bleeding in the alleyway.

    And yeah, this kid never even made it to RTC. DEP discharge, and would be interesting, if not humorous, to find out why.

  22. Oh, there’s so many others that are so much worse. RTO (refusal to obligate) is so, well, COMMON.

    I actually saw death once as reason for DEP drop. Only in SoCal. Guy got caught in a drive-by.

  23. @28, I’m sure some recruiter had a fun time explaining that to the company 1SG or BN CSM
    “hey, uh, top, Smith won’t be shipping next week.”

    “well why the hell not?”

    “some Bloods capped him in a drive by”

    “well tell him to take some Motrin and walk it off, you need to make mission”

  24. @30

    Being an Army guy…I personally love that uniform and I am pretty angry the Navy did away with it.

    I remember seeing my two cousins coming home on leave when I was a kid….that uniform, worn correctly, had panache….

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