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I knew it!

by Jonn Lilyea••30

The Duffel Blog, that satire website run by our own StrikeFO, seems to be the only news source reporting that which I’ve suspected for decades – the Air Force is intentionally recruiting all of the hot chicks from high school (present company excluded, of course);

Some examples found by the congressional report include:

— Following young girls home from cheer-leading practice.
— Forging notes and passing them in classes under more popular students’ names.
— Leaking embarrassing information to unattractive candidates’ boyfriends and parents.
— Investigating the lives of pop-singers seen as most influential to prospective candidates.

In addition, investigators said the activities included painting the other services as ugly, rough, dumb and only for the “butch” and “lesbian” girls.

Law enforcement officials said the best example of the targeting was the secret recruitment of pop-singer Justin Beiber, who included lyrics such as “fly high with me baby” and “you are my wings” in every one of his songs to aid the Air Force. Air Force Recruiting Command, however, repeatedly denied the allegations stating Justin Beiber was just a bad writer and his repeated use of the same lyrics were strictly coincidence.

Of course, the hotties that come here and aren’t in the Air Force were just smart enough to resist the obvious focused marketing of the Air Force recruiters.

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30 thoughts on “I knew it!”

  3. I don’t get the satire. The USAF (with exception, of course) does have the hottest females and it’s perfectly plausible that this is either an innate feminine attraction to blue or a masterful recruiting effort.

  4. Navy blue is far more attractive than cadet grayish blue.

    It’s the planes, AirCav. It’s the planes.

  6. Air Cav–I would disagree…while AF women ON AVERAGE might be the best, by far the trophy belongs to the Marine women. There seemed to be little to no middle ground with them–like redheads, they were either uber butt-ugly or mega hawt.

  7. Shaw AFB must be where they sent the waivers then. Been here 3 months and have yet to see a hot (or even decent looking) AF female……..

  8. I remember seeing some pretty hot AF women at Balad. Looking back I’m not sure if they were really hot or if it was the fact that I had been living on a COP for 8 months. At that point I was starting to think that women were a myth that you only read about in fairy tales.

  9. @6. I see that no one is arguing on behalf of the Army or Navy, though both have SOME lookers. But Marine women? I’d have to hear from a Marine on that one. You Navy guys, as friend of mine used to say, would ‘do’ the crack of dawn.

  10. @6

    NHSparky’s got the right end of that one. When I was in the Corps, we had some mind-blowingly attractive women. We also had some of the most unfortunate looking women. There weren’t any “average” looking ones.

  11. AirCav–I’ve been to Thailand, PI, Australia, and a whole host of other places. No need to “do” the crack of dawn.

    Especially Australia. Oh, the stories I could tell about that place….

    Even on the boats where we never saw women, even in port, most (not all, but most) of the Navy women ranged from “meh” to, “Oh, HELL NO!” Very few of the women on the tender were what I’d consider hot, but then again, this was just after Tailhook when the whole, “You touch anything not yours and you’re going to DIE!” sexual harrassment bit was going on, so I wasn’t much interested in dating someone in the Navy, let alone someone at the same command as me.

  12. 2/17 Air Cav: the USMC has some lookers. Google “Bambi Lin Finney”. Photos may not be safe for work – she appeared in Playboy in the early 1980s.

  13. They may join the Air Force, but there is only one service they are interested in bangin’ –

    Semper Fi

  15. As far as USMC women I’ve seen, yeah, they’re either SI swimsuit models or they could make a turd scream and run! I use the PX & Commissary at a nearby AF Base,and the way a lot of their women look in their dress uniforms in a skirt, if there were any Army Grunts nearby, they’d be following like hound dawgs!

  16. Air Force women are the most intelligent, and good lookin!!!!! The rest of you can eat your hearts out.

  17. yes AF chicks are hot. AND they seem to have a thing for jarheads. Just ask any zoomie at Kadena 😉

  18. So, if you exclude present company, that makes all but the AF chicks hot???

  19. Hmm…. Plenty of Navy women I knew who were certainly considered HOTTIES, but it was the 1960s, so I guess things were different then.

  20. Of course, Ex-PH2, if you were the standard, the Navy would win hands down. And then we have OWB who certainly represents the majority view of the service-to-service overall winners.

    (How’s that for smooth?)

  22. There was a hot Navy chick on LeJeune, but she was an officer, so that didn’t count as far as I was concerned.

  23. Very few hotties in the Army except when I was processing out of Benning’s School for Boys and wound up in the parachurte riggers’ barracks. At that time (mid ’80s) I believe those were the only jump-qualified women, and all that PT sure made everything below the neck well-toned. But I’ll casty my vote with Sparky – even the Army girls (one of whom I married) said the Marines were the hottest, followed by the Air Farce, the Squidettes, and then …. well

  24. I have to give them credit. The AF chicks we had on our FOB in Iraq would buy Army PT gear so they could blend in when they came over to our side of the FOB. We had nicknames for every one of them..along with all the female contractors. It made the time go by much faster.

  25. Investigating the lives of pop-singers seen as most influential to prospective candidates.

    Sounds like a Simpsons episode… Yvan Eht Nioj, anyone?

    We had some Army hotties when I was in, but I was assigned to a hospital… a larger pool to choose from.

    And I still think that very little beats a woman who looks good in BDUs. I think it’s largely the attitude, though.

  26. Honestly, we went to train at Fort McClellan, AL in 1975, you know, when there were WACs and McClellan was the WAC basic training post. I saw some WAC hotties – a few hundred of them, actually. The EM Club was like heaven.

  27. …As a former USAF Recruiter, I’m getting a kick out of this thread.

    Seriously though, it was kind of weird – the four years I was recruiting, the women who joined through my office were uniformly hot. Drove my ex NUTS. 😀

    Mike

  30. Over the years I’ve see women in all 4 services that would turn heads – for both reasons.

    I’m sure the same is true from the feminine perspective regarding men in the military. I’m not qualified to make that call; some of our female readers will have to make that assessment.

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