Scientists Baffled By Man’s Incredible Ability To Fuck Up Every Time
BALTIMORE—Neurologists at Johns Hopkins University confirmed Monday they remain completely baffled by Rockville, MD resident Erik Collins, a man who possesses an extraordinary and previously undocumented ability to fuck everything up.
According to Dr. William Moore, head of a research team studying exactly how Collins manages to drop the goddamn ball every single time, the 32-year-old sales associate represents a major conundrum for modern science.
I’m NOT Mr. Collins… still it reads like my life story.
I think you missed an important headline off to the right, there. “The last American who knew what the fuck he was doing dies”.
Good thing I had no beverage around, whatever it was, I LMAO over this page of the Onion.
I know a lot of fuckups like that guy…