I give you the case of Bruni v. Bruni. You don’t even need to read the case to get that Judge J.W. Quinn of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice, Family Court, is my new hero:
Larry gave evidence that, less than one month later, Catherine, “Tried to run me over with her van.”[6]
[6] This is always a telltale sign that a husband and wife are drifting apart.
[7] The courtroom energy level in a custody/access dispute spikes quickly when there is evidence that one of the parents has a Hells Angels branch in her family tree. Certainly, my posture improved. Catherine’s niece is engaged to a member of the Hells Angels. I take judicial notice of the fact that the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club is a criminal organization (and of the fact that the niece has made a poor choice).
[21] A finger is worth a thousand words and, therefore, is particularly useful should one have a vocabulary of less than a thousand words.
[22] When the operator of a motor vehicle yells “jackass” at a pedestrian, the jackassedness of the former has been proved, but, at that point, it is only an allegation as against the latter.
[26] The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines “dickhead” as “a stupid person.” That would not have been my first guess.
[90] On another occasion in July of 2009, Larry said to [his young daughter]: “You put shit in this hand and shit in this hand, smack it together, what do you get? Taylor.”[30]
[30] I gather that this is Larry’s version of the Big Bang Theory.
My thanks to TAH Reader/Law School Classmate MM for sending me this case. Best legal reading in years.
Total snortfest!!!
Do not read while drinking!
[26] The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines “dickhead” as “a stupid person.” That would not have been my first guess.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Sent a link to a friend studying for the bar. She says thanks for the day’s sole bright spot. That is histerical.
“Should” has been interpreted to mean “must.”
That’s been an expectation in Navy and civilian nuclear power for at least 25 years now.
My favorite note:
[23] In recent years, the evidence in family trials typically includes reams of text messages between the parties, helpfully laying bare their true characters. Assessing credibility is not nearly as difficult as it was before the use of e-mails and text messages became prolific. Parties are not shy about splattering their spleens throughout cyberspace.
According to Sonny Barger, the Hells Angels is NOT a criminal organization…it is a motorcycle organization with criminals in it.
Of course, they are putting their boots to ya, it’s a really fine line.
“[23] In recent years, the evidence in family trials typically includes reams of text messages between the parties, helpfully laying bare their true characters. Assessing credibility is not nearly as difficult as it was before the use of e-mails and text messages became prolific. Parties are not shy about splattering their spleens throughout cyberspace.”
I had this ready to copy and paste, but then as I read the comments… dammit… Old Trooper beat me to it.
Mr. Justice Quinn sounds like the kind of judge we shold see a lot more of.
Agreed, alas he is a cannuck.
[36] The separation agreement stipulates that Larry is to pay spousal support for Catherine in the sum of one dollar annually,
Heh……..
Can’t find the story now, but in the early 90’s in the Baltimore area a judge told a woman in his court she was “Coyote Ugly” and then proceeded to tell the court the precise definition of the term.
Now, this being America, the judge was kind of dis-barred or de-robed or had his wig taken away, whatever it is we do to politically incorrect people – keep in mind this was the early 90’s which was the Dawning of the PC Age and all of its awful.