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Let’s have some fun! The Race is On.

by David••34

and here comes Heartache… no, not that race. Apologies to George Jones (no, Sawyer Brown didn’t write it.)

The race of the century is Friday at Indy.  Contenders gathering for the first time in one spot for the first time in ten years, racing each other around the Brickyard for the first time EVAH!  Hot machinery, screaming engines, rabid fans, the Wiener’s Circle – what more could you want?

No, that wasn’t a typo. The first ever running of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile race is happenin’ Friday at 2PM (I’m guessing Central time?)

Each Wienermobile will represent a regional favorite — the New York Dog for the East, Slaw Dog for the Southeast, Chilli Dog for the South, Chi Dog for the Midwest, Seattle Dog for the Northwest and Sonoran Dog for the Southwest.  Fox5

Chi Dog (Midwest)

For fans of:

Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Chicago Bulls

For people who:

  • Refuse to put ketchup on their hot dog
  • Know someone who grew up with Pope Leo XIV
  • Still watch their “Super Bowl Shuffle” VHS tape

New York Dog (East)

For fans of:

New York Knicks, New York Mets, New York Yankees

For people who:

  • Always pet the bodega cat
  • Say “Bing Bong” after Knicks wins
  • Salute 27 rings

Slaw Dog (Southeast)

For fans of:

Carolina Panthers, Carolina Hurricanes, UNC Tar Heels

For people who:

  • Know biscuits can be eaten at breakfast, lunch or dinner
  • Think they have the best BBQ
  • Know rubbin’ is racin’

Sonoran Dog (Southwest)

For fans of:

Arizona Diamondbacks, Arizona Cardinals, New Mexico Lobos

For people who:

  • Don’t mind a little (or a lot of) spice
    •  seen a UFO or know someone who’s seen a UFO
      • Miss the SuperSonics
      • Never threw out their flannel
      • Can’t talk about the 2015 Super Bowl without feeling sick (run the dang ball!li Dog (South)

        For fans of:

        Texas Longhorns, Dallas Cowboys, Houston Astros

        For people who:

        • Also think they have the best BBQ
        • Look good in burnt orange
        • Know the State Fair of Texas is hallowed ground

        Seattle Dog (Northwest)

        For fans of: Seattle Seahawks, Washington Huskies, Seattle Mariners

        For people who:

      • Miss the SuperSonics
      • Never threw out their flannel
      • Can’t talk about the 2015 Super Bowl without feeling sick (run the dang ball!)  Fox Sports

OK, the formatting got away from me…y’all know who to root for.

The Wienie 500 will be streaming live on Friday, May 23 at 2 p.m. via the FOX Sports app, or tune into the FOX Sports Indy 500 pre-show on Sunday to see highlights from the race.Indy Star

I am guessing this may have the slowest fast laps of any race since maybe the track was opened – “top heavy” is a phrase that comes to mind.

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34 thoughts on “Let’s have some fun! The Race is On.”

  3. I just had my first semi official Chi Dog from a food truck but not actually IN Chicago, so I guess ti doesn’t count BUT, I must say I like hot dogs witn more and everything on it….I’d probably love a Sonoran Dog too….PILE THAT SHIT ON!!! wrapped in a pizza with a Big Mac topper.
    Is there something like SNL Taco Town but for Hot dogs??
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evUWersr7pc

  5. So in this case… the weiner that finishes first is a good thing? 😉

    Putting myself in timeout…

    1. And stay there until the First Wiener squirts past the finish line…

      Aw shit; I guess I’ll be there with ya.
      I’ll bring the Bourbon.

    1. There has to be at least a few dirty jokes in that photo…
      I’m just not feeling them at the moment.

  8. Side note to this race…
    I (with parents & brothers) got to see the Wienermobile in 1955/56 at a church picnic. Meinhardt Raabe aka “Coroner” in Dorothy & the Wizard of Oz” and “World’s Smallest Chef” was Oscar Mayer’s 1st live “Little Oscar.”

    Meinhardt used to tell me to call him by his first name while I’d reply that my parents wouldn’t let me.

    He was the BIGGEST man I have ever known.

  10. “Understeer is when you hit the wall with the front end, and oversteer is when you hit the wall with the back end.”

    1. So what to you call it when you hit the wall upside down? Saw Donny Osmond do that at Long Beach one year – he forgot to keep the shiny side up.

    2. I think that’s a quote from the gospel of Benny Parsons. Along with “Caution begets caution”.

  11. We have a Wienermobile here in the National Capital Region, promoting a proud but humble woman owned company. A 1980’s vintage Jaguar driven by the Vice President of the company to regional fairs, farmers markets and court appearances for restraining orders and bankruptcies. Whenever he pulls up, everyone points and says “Look at the wiener!”.

  12. So, you are intentionally slighting the Chili Dog?
    I like my chili dog with copious quantities of the original Wolf Brand Chili, and there are NO BEANS ON REAL CHILI.

  13. Was it Richard Petty who said, “If you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t racin’?

    Or maybe a Petty hater who said he said it?

    1. IIRC, Richard Petty was notorious famous for finding loopholes in the rule book that gave him a competitive edge.
      As I recall, he worked his engine to rotate opposite what engines normally do, which kept his car leaning slightly to the inside, giving him a bit of an edge in how fast he could take a curve. It was years before the race officials caught on.
      It wasn’t, technically, cheating, but…

      1. Smokey Yunick was another racer known to exploit the rules. He went so far as to build an acid dipped, 7/8th scale chevelle in 1966 (7?).

        So many stories on that guy.

    3. There is no cheating in NASCAR. There is “a very liberal interpretation of the rule book”.

    4. I almost wanna say that’s a Junior Johnson quote, maybe I saw it in Darrell Waltrip’s autobiography years ago.

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