You might also like

Holiday Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend open thread

37 thoughts on “Weekend Open Thread”

    1. WOO HOO! Five years I have been lurking on this site waiting for my FIRST time to shine. Five years of watching other folks steal my thunder! Well, it ends now, Beeoches!! {deep breath, act humble}

      I would like to thank my family for supporting me in these difficult times and my boss for telling me to put in a PO for a replacement hydraulic cylinder precisely as this thread was created… Naw, Fak him, it was all ME!!! Wooooo!!!

      God Bless America. Dreams can really come true here.

    2. Rats of the Cong on your First FIRST, Bim. You never forget your First FIRST. Remember that with Great Power comes Great Responsibility. In other words, YOU are Greatly responsible for the words and actions of all of the miscreanted d’weeded deplorables. Oh, and you DON’T get to have your way with ANY of the Adorable Deplorables. Trust me on that one, I’ve tried.

      Now, where’s the snacky stuff, refreshing beverages, and some decent seegars? I was 60 klicks outside the wire when the WOT dropped, done built me up a powerful thirst…and I got the munchies.

  3. Third. DAMN EARLY!!!!
    WTF, OMG BBQ!!!
    Fuckers.

    “WHAT KIND OF SOURCERY IS THIS?!?!?!?”


    Have a lovely weekend.
    Congrats Bim
    Rule with a firm, even, just and loving hand…

  4. The countdown to Tuesday the 8th for my left shoulder rotator cuff surgery begins. Back in September of 2016, I had rotator cuff surgery on my right shoulder where the long head of the bicep muscle tore off plus the other problem I’ve had since 1971. 2016 had me leaving walmart and I was pushing or pulling my Springfield SC .40 holster on my belt to re position it and I heard a popping noise which was the long head separating.

  5. WHAT?!?
    whatever…
    All hail Bim!
    Don’t swim with power tools, Check ID before ‘tab A into slot B’, if you ask yourself “am I too drunk to X,Y,Z?” you too drunk, make sure to fill your tank BEFORE takeoff and take all directions from the tower.
    Have a great weekend y’all!

    1. Looking good on the progress, TOW! Thanks for the update. I look forward to these post every week.

      You da Man! That Hot Wife of yours getting settled into the new crib yet?

      1. She’s loving everything about it except the weather. She’s looking at new furniture, arranging and rearranging what we already have to decide how she likes it, picking out rugs, etc. Making the place her own, as it should be.

        She’s even granted me a bit of gun-buying money!

  10. I WUZ ROBBED of the chance to be a competitor.

    AT&T had a days-long system outage for interwebz in the GB AO that just now came back.

    Got some work done outside, but the heat & 100% humidity will drain an old man quickly.

    In the middle of putting up some fig preserves like my grandmother made. When they’re done gonna have to make some good ol’ Southern Biscuits like my Mama made, butter ’em hot, and dump a spoonful on each half.

    All y’all Southern boys and girls, can I get a “Hallelujah Amen!” ?

    Enjoy your weekend. More rain in our AO. My garden is a marsh.

    1. To paraphrase an old school tune Graybeard; “Don’t bogart that biscuit, My Friend…Pass it over to me…” Hallelujah!!! AMEN!

      AT&T, or as some of us referred to them, “The Death Star Company” has/had as one of their Saying/Directives that the employees were supposed to practice on a regular basis; “The Customer Rules”. Virtue signaling at it’s finest before that became the new, in, buzz word. Another Logo was “Re-Think Possible”. Call ’em up and ask them if it is possible for them to re-think and follow the Rules and start giving “Customer Service”. You think they treat the paying public bad, try working for them these days. For those that are there; The Struggle is Real.

      1. Yeah, KoB ol’ buddy. If I had any real choice I would not remain enslaved to AT&T’s “service”

        But so far I’ve got 12 pints up, starting on another 6. When you get here I’ll whip up some biscuits and feast you on ’em.

        Give me enough of a heads up and I’ll have some Shier Bock in the fridge, too.

        Mrs. GB and I done finished up the blackberry cobbler, though. Sorry.

    2. UPDATE: Sunday lunch was some of Mrs. GB’s squash casserole with buttered “pop” biscuits with the fig preserves on ’em.
      The batch turned out real good, KoB brother.

      1. Go ahead and poke that Bear a bit more with your gloating, my Brother. I see how you do me. Tell you what…you go ahead and make another cobbler, I’LL bring the frosty Shier Bock…AND some Vanilla Bean Ice Cream.

        Cheesy squash casserole and blackberry cobbler was on the table yesterday, along with the other menu items listed on the Thursday are for cooking segment. Had some grilled Conecuh Sausage with BBQ Bacon on cat heads for brunch this morning to keep the food coma going.

  12. Well, with full congratulations to Bim for his first FIRST on the WOT, I hereby relinquish any claims I may have had on the throne, crown, and scepter.

    Instead, I’ll supply the weekly trivia, for all to enjoy.

    Read on!

    DID YOU KNOW…?
    Does a micronation have an ongoing war with a country that no longer exists?
    By Commissioner Wretched

    Lately some of my e-mails have a common thread.

    Many of you appear to like the goofy laws I put into the column from time to time, and more than a few of you have asked me to do a column of nothing but those silly things.

    After spending due time considering the idea, I think I will do just that – not this week, but soon.

    I’ll create a trivia column full of silly laws that are still on the books, even if they’re never enforced. And in this week’s offering, you will find the reasoning behind one of what is considered the silliest.

    So let’s get to the trivia, for soon the Long Arm of the Silly Laws will be upon us!

    Did you know …

    … polar bears can eat 150 pounds of meat at a sitting? (Living in the Arctic, the rest goes into the freezer – which is just about anywhere.)

    … a popular toy was used by the military as a detection device? United States military forces in Iraq used Silly String™ to detect trip wires. Before entering a room, troops would spray the Silly String inside, and if it were to hang up in the air, a wire may have been in the room. (I’ll bet the barracks parties are a lot of fun, too!)

    … many ridiculous laws you hear about are still on the books, sometimes having very valid reasons for existing? Take, for example, the classic one out of Alabama, where it remains illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your back pocket. While nobody with any sense would carry an ice cream cone in his back pocket today, the reason for this law is anything but silly. Back in the day when people rode horses to get around, this apparently strange law was designed to stop horse theft. Horses would follow people with ice cream cones in their pockets, attempting to enjoy the sweet ice cream treat, making it easy to lure horses away from their hitching post and steal them. (Granted, that’s stealing horses the easy way.)

    … a science fiction novel was on the reading list of the U.S. Marine Corps? “Starship Troopers,” written in 1959 by Robert A. Heinlein (1907-1988), was until 2020 on the Commandant of the Marine Corps’ military reading list. It was replaced by a book titled “White Donkey” by Maximilian Uriarte, which deals with post-traumatic stress disorder in the days after the 9/11 terror attacks.

    … the nation of Molossia has been at war with East Germany since 1983? What – you’ve never heard of Molossia? Not many people have. Molossia is what’s called a micronation – in this case, 11.3 acres of land near the town of Dayton, Nevada. Basically a country made up of a house and a big back yard, it’s run by President Kevin Baugh (born 1962), who created it in 1977 from a childhood project on micronations. Molossia has its own flag, its own national symbols, and its own currency. The monetary unit is the valora, which is divided into 100 units called futtrus, and is tied to the relative value of Pillsbury™ chocolate chip cookie dough, stored in the Bank of Molossia. The war with East Germany was declared in 1983 because of military drills Baugh participated in when he served with the U.S. Army in West Germany, which disrupted his sleep, and it continues today, even though East Germany ceased to exist in 1990. And before you ask: Like most micronations, Molossia is not recognized by any country or by the United Nations. Baugh pays his taxes, of course, but calls it “foreign aid.” (If you’re not convinced that this is for real, check out their website: molossia.org. This column item was not submitted for approval to the Molossian Ministry of Propaganda.)

    … movie test audiences are not always right? Take, for instance, the 1995 film “Apollo 13.” Based on the real adventure of three astronauts aboard a crippled Moon mission who safely returned, the test audiences were not altogether happy with the film. One member of the audience said he hated it because it had a “typical Hollywood ending,” and he would have preferred the film if the crew had not survived.

    … the manufacture of wine determines what its smell is called? A wine’s smell derived from the variety of grape is known as an “aroma,” while the fermentation produces a smell often called a “bouquet.” (And the really old stuff is called “phew!”)

    … a presidential idea to combat inflation backfired? In 1974, President Gerald Ford (1913-2006) initiated his “Whip Inflation Now” plan, declaring inflation Public Enemy Number One and asking people to wear buttons which read “WIN” and for suggestions on how to reduce inflation. The buttons were immediately ridiculed, as many people wore them upside down so they would instead read “NIM,” meaning “No Instant Miracles,” “Need Immediate Money,” and “Non-stop Inflation Merry-go-round.” (Creative. I like that.)

    … the longest unbroken significant alliance between two nations began in 1386? England and Portugal have been allies for 635 years and continue so today. (Nobody even remembers what their last disagreement was about.)

    … shoe strings were patented in 1790? A product of England, they quickly became a popular replacement for the buckles most people were using to keep their shoes on tightly. What made his different from others before was the addition of the aglet to the end. (Yeah!)

    … holding the metal part of your car key fob against your chin will help unlock your doors? Obviously, this only works if you have one of the newer models of car keys that use a button to unlock the doors from the outside. But why does pointing the key at your head help? The radio signals use your brain as a kind of transmitter amplifier, sending the signals farther out. (The fact that you’ll look totally silly doing so shouldn’t matter.)

    Now … you know!

  13. Have to work all weekend.

    Also, the Lakers and LeStupid are having an early first round exit in the playoffs, after that epic beat down by the Suns last night.

    I am a happy man.

  14. June 4, 1942, the 79’Th anniversary of the Battle of Midway. As usual since it finally came out, I watched the 2019 version of the battle on Amazon.
    I know that nobody here likes the movie because it doesn’t do this or it does that and the old Veterans wouldn’t watch it and would throw wet toilet paper at the movie screen because it is so incredibly bad…..
    Well, I like it, it is ten thousand times better than the star studded Midway that centered around, not the Battle of Midway but Charlton Hesston’s whiny bitch son, a supposed Navy pilot that did nothing but whine about his girlfriend even at the end of the movie after Hesston’s character missed his landing on the ship and crashed in a blaze of glory. That was his father and all the kid did was WAAAAHHHHH about her picture !!!!!
    I hate that movie more than any other that has ever been made about anything military. It is by far the worst and shows a huge mess being pushed back then that was the first generation of hate America and everything about it and has matured, if you can call it that, into biteme, bunboi’s chicken legged, hollow chested whiny ass pukes that get scared and call the teacher when someone calls them the pussy little men that they are…
    Anyway, may all those that fought and died in that huge conflagration that the Battle of Midway receive the Godspeed Blessings of a just and loving higher power, whatever and whomever they may be called.
    That battle is probably the most written about from the War in the Pacific, per Chester I Nimitz, when he refers to the battles he fought in the Pacific Theatre.
    Dick Best, Nimitz, Halsey and all those major players and the little guys that fought and died bravely brought nothing but the pride of a mission well accomplished, I place a Hand Salute to all those…..
    We are just blessed my friends, say what you want, we are blessed to have had those men and women in our Military to set the example that we may, however, weakly may emulate……
    Good Day my Friends.

  15. Do you Adorable Deplorables realize that this past May was the 8 year anniversary of the Phil Monkress thread posting on This Ain’t Hell, and was the genesis of countless spinoff threads and sequels that amused and educated us over the years? Phildo gave us Paul Of The Ballsack, who allied himself with Daniel Bernath and Dallas Wittgenfeld, which was the inspiration for The Dutch Rudder Gang, which brought Joe Cryer into the Axis Of Idiots.

    Phil Monkress takes quite a bit of well deserved abuse, but he has the intrinsic leadership skills that can inspire an employee to willingly sacrifice his professional reputation, his career, his home, his life savings and marriage so that Phil could go on living the fantasy of being a US Navy SEAL, only to toss said employee aside like a used tissue.

    On the plus side, if Phil Monkress did not have easily manipulated employees, Hack Stone would have never been hired by Elaine Ricci as Director Of Media Relations.

    https://www.azuse.cloud/?p=30777&cpage=18#comments

    1. A “where are they today” post on the DRG and other notables (e.g., Chevy, Forging Frank, Round, …) would be interesting and fun. I thought I had a Round Ranger sighting last week but confidence level very low.

      1. It’s as if Round Ranger disappeared in fat air.

        You know how they have those 1980’s Retro Cruises, with all of the bands that used to headline areas but now play lesser known casino ballrooms? Wish there was a similar event for the “classic” stolen valor miscreants. Dullass could open with his Purple Clown outfit, Joe Cryer can get the ladies hot with his Chunkendale Dancer routine, Crybaby Cio Stephen Burrell could read passages from Weekend At Rita’s, and Jarrett Gimbl can perform with his dog Gunny.

        1. As well as “Blobfish” showing up wearing his lab coat in search of his next Bride if he isn’t still in jail enjoying the company of Bubba, Thor, Julio and “Tiny Tyrone” every shower time!

Comments are closed.