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Weekend Open Thread

Thursday Open Thread (Temp)

Weekend open thread

88 thoughts on “Weekend Open Thread”

      1. What about Biden’s crypt keeper haircut?? Why in sams hell would a man of his age not at least have some sort of taper….looks like joe the hobo!!

    4. Rats of the Cong on your FIRSTNESS Good Sir(?). Is this your 1st FIRST!? I hereby bestow the Crown with Sceptre upon you and, here, fill my canteen cup full of Crown. I’ll take a heaping serving of the cornered beef beast with taters and veggies that Ex prepared from yesterday past. And light my seegar for me while you’re at it. And being as you at least sign as an NCO turncoated ossifer, I expect to see some true Lording over of the miscreanted d’weeded/weedetted deplorables in the upcoming week. Didn’t know that Radar got promoted from cplcap to sgtcap. Mention me to Lt Dish. I still see her…in my dreams. That Jeep you mailed piece by piece from Korea still running good?

      The picture above kinda reminds me of the wax ring that was in the old toilet the crew pulled out this week. Or what Toe Mas the cat threw up this morning.

      2. Pure luck. Was updating the status of maintenance request at work and stopped by to check on updates. This is my first “First”. Normally I just observe. As for being a NCO turned to the darkside, it was actually the other way around. I started as an officer but finished as a NCO. My friends gave me the callsign sgtcpt and it stuck. I’ll be a benevolent despot. Free Crown Royal for all.

    2. Third Winter.

      Next up, “The Pollening”, followed by Road Construction and Masshole Invasion.

      1. We’ve already started Construction season in Whitler’s state. Seems that she’s gonna fix those damn roads, finally, well, at least the ones that were on the schedule from years ago.

  7. Fifth? I’ll take a SWAG(scientific wild ass guess) at this – think it’s the twat-with-teeth cut..

  8. Was busy filling sandbags for the fighting positions.
    Dull your bayonets, folks!
    Have a great weekend y’all!
    (about that haircut, dead ringer for a guy I knew in basic, Cantu. Dude may have been the funniest man alive. So in honor, the ‘Cantu’)

  9. Closed escrow. I am now an Arizonan. Just as soon as I get an AZ ID, gonna use that “stimulus” check on some ARs and AKs (I celebrate diversity).

    1. Congrats TOW, I bet it feels good to escape the People’s Republik of CA!

    3. My best friend and hunting partner was born
      and raised in Tempe AZ. He has often said
      the only other place he would live is AZ.
      Good for you OW. Enjoy your freedom.

    4. Been calling allllllll over trying to get LE/Mil purchase on gunzzzzzz. Not too many to be had for what I’m looking for.
      Disclaimer: I’M NOT LE!!!! I’m retired military (Reserve but with active duty too).
      ANYWAY, I was just able to get a few pistolayez at the LE/Mil discount but others I had to pay retail-ish but not MSRP. I figured I cam out ahead considering demand vs supply.
      SO, I just put in a request for a CZ 97 BD after doing much research and after shooting a Sig P220 Legion (rental) the other day. After that, I’m quitting for a while until my credit card(s) get out of ICU. (LOLZZZZZ!!!)
      Con of the grads to not being in Commiefornia and near LARS!!!
      Now, if I can work with folks to get the MD laws deemed unconstitutional like they did in D.C. so MD is a shall carry state vice a “May” carry. It’ son the docket for the Supreme Court December 2020 but not scheduled yet so….
      We’ll see. At least I have some shovels and freedom seeds.

    8. We sure hope you are not African-American, cuz if so, you will never be able to figure out how to get an Arizona ID or driver’s license.

  10. D’oh! Hack completely missed the posting of The Weekend Open Thread. Perhaps next week will turn in Hack’s favor.

  11. Pure luck. Was updating the status of maintenance request at work and stopped by to check on updates. I’ll be a benevolent despot. Free Crown Royal for all.

          1. I’m combining these two and then adding the string to the The Hemisphere of Insults®™

            ” Anal ring dome probably left over from bobbing for apples in the porta potty.”

            I like it.
            Congratulations you guys.

          1. At this rate you are adding phrases, you may have to change the HOI to the Universe Of Insults.

            1. I’m not certain, we’ve had some suggestions but what comes after Hemisphere? As(s)teroid?

              1. As(s)teroid of Insults may be the most appropriate since the hemoroidial phonies are a pain in the Ass. Or they’re Asses? Or we are on their Asses. They need to go over there somewhere, like to live with Larsie. (anybody see what I just did) Or maybe, Planet of Insults, being as they are in their own little World?

  13. DAMN, I forgot it was Friday. Oh well, I lay claim to Honorary First once again.

    ((((OVER))))

  14. Just read about this – Must be a manpower shortage at West Point or the Honor Code is the latest creed to get “woke”:

    Cadets who were being investigated for cheating on the Calculus test (instead of all of them being expelled) get probation and set back a year.

    Pretty sure there will be post on this most ricky-tick.

    1. “Calculus test”

      How does one cheat on a Calculus test?
      As I recall the phrase “show your work” was at the top of
      each page. Even if you came up with the correct answer it
      was only worth a small portion of the total score.

      Full Disclosure:
      I did NOT attend nor did I graduate from West Point.

      1. Probably distance learning and guys passing stuff around on their cellphones during the test.

  15. Name that cut?

    Okay, I’ll go with “Hey guys, I’m ready for two-hole licking!”.

  19. I think this hairdo matches the hair around another part of this klown’s anatomy.

    He should have had the barber shave off his eyebrows to give his doo the full effect.

  20. Had the chance to meet some friends for dinner after work and that meant the trivia would be late this evening. Hope I’ll be forgiven.

    Congrats to sgtcpt for your first-ever, always earned, never given FIRST on the WOT! Have a great time lording it over the rest of us.

    As for the fellow in the picture … EWWWWWWW!

    Anyway, here’s the trivia.

    DID YOU KNOW…?
    Did a Chinese man live to be 256 years old?
    By Commissioner Wretched

    Baseball is back! Following of the Chicago Cubs begins anew!

    With the start of the season comes the inevitable rush to see what, if any, all-time records can be broken.

    I found a few records that nobody wants to break: Hughie Jennings, most times hit by a pitch, 287; Duane Kuiper, one home run in 3,259 at bats; Anthony Young, most consecutive losses by a pitcher, 27.

    Yeah, those are records that nobody wants to break. It reminds me of the old comic strip “B.C.” where one character asks another, “What’s the fastest way to get from New York City to Salt Lick, Wyoming?” and the reply is, “Bat .126.”

    So much for records nobody wants to break. Let’s get into something everybody wants – trivia!

    Did you know …

    … the International Spy Museum really exists? Located in Washington, D.C., it opened in 2002. In its huge collection of espionage-related artifacts, the curious onlooker can find counterfeit money, incredibly intricate weapons, and even code-making – and code-breaking – machines. (And oddly enough, you don’t have to know any secret codes to get in.)

    … you use the largest muscle in your body every single day? You’re either walking with it, sitting on it, or getting it kicked by someone. It’s the gluteus maximus, the muscle that makes up your backside. It helps stabilize the pelvis and lower back, and plays a major role in hip movement. (In my case, it’s getting kicked by someone almost all the time.)

    … only one nation on Earth has a flag that is neither rectangular nor square? The flag of Nepal, a nation in the Himalaya Mountains between China and India, looks instead like two triangular pennants atop one another. (Strangely enough, so does Nepal.)

    … the yo-yo was originally a weapon? The yo-yo, classic toy of childhood, originated in the Philippines in the 1500s, and the weapon version weighed four pounds and had a 20-foot rope. The weapon was downsized and introduced as a toy in America in 1929 by toymaker Louis Marx (1896-1982). (Yeah, you don’t want to get hit with a four-pound yo-yo right between the eyes. Or anywhere else.)

    … Adelie penguins have a unique mating ritual? When the male Adelie penguin is seeking a mate, he will offer a pebble – chosen very carefully – to the female. If she accepts the pebble, the two stay together for the rest of their lives. (That sounds awfully familiar … a pebble, a diamond … you get the idea.)

    … a Chinese man is believed to have lived more than two and a half centuries? According to the folks at the Guinness Book of World Records, the extreme of human longevity belongs to Jeanne Calment (1875-1997), who lived to a documented age of 122 years, 164 days. However, a man in China, Li Qingyuen (?-1933), is claimed to have lived more than twice as long. When Li died, news reports listed him as having been born in 1677, which would have made him 256 years old at the time of his passing. Other sources said he was born in 1736, making him “only” 197 at his death. Li’s true date of birth was never determined, and it was accepted only that he died at “an advanced age.” A researcher in 1930 claimed to have discovered records from the imperial Chinese government congratulating Li on his 150th birthday in 1827, and his 200th in 1877. If the claim is true, then Li lived more than 230 years under the rule of the Qing Dynasty, saw the fall of the imperial government and the rise of the Kuomintang, or Nationalists, and witnessed more history than any of us can possibly imagine. (Or could possibly want to imagine.)

    … a Scrabble™ game board has 255 spaces? (And some of them give whopping big bonus points, too.)

    … a baby bat is called a pup? (Here, pup!)

    … a science is dedicated to kissing? It’s called philematology. (And I am in serious need of doing some research in that science, too.)

    … prairie dogs say “hello” to each other by kissing? (No, I’m not *that* desperate to do research.)

    … a popular Christmas song was written under a different title? Composed in 1951 by Ray Evans (1915-2007) and Jay Livingston (1915-2001), the song “Silver Bells” was originally known as “Tinkle Bells.” That name lasted only as long as it took for Livingston’s wife to chime in – she let the songwriters know of another, more crude meaning for the word “tinkle.” (Oh, the possibilities …)

    … all the gold ever mined would fit on one end of a football field? If it could all be gathered together in one place and melted down into a cube, the cube would be forty-five feet in length, the same height, and the same width – which could fit between the goal line and the fifteen-yard line. However, if you think that’s special, try this – all the platinum ever mined would fit in the average size living room of one house. (Not my house, of course.)

    … cheese can cause weird dreams? Stilton blue cheese is known to frequently cause odd, vivid dreams in those who eat it. (A pretty cheesy way to get odd dreams, I say.)

    … Americans aren’t as aware of things as they should be? Case in point: About 60% of Americans can name all of the Three Stooges – some even can name *all six* of the men who made up the comedy trio – but only 17% can name three U.S. Supreme Court Justices. (There’s a difference?)

    … a squid has three hearts? Two of them are “brachial” hearts, which pump blood to the squid’s gills. The third is the “systemic” heart, which takes care of pumping the blood to the rest of the squid’s body. (Valentine’s Day must be hectic for squid – they have three hearts to give away.)

    Now … you know!

    1. Originally posted by Commissioner Wretched:

      … the yo-yo was originally a weapon? The yo-yo, classic toy of childhood, originated in the Philippines in the 1500s, and the weapon version weighed four pounds and had a 20-foot rope. The weapon was downsized and introduced as a toy in America in 1929 by toymaker Louis Marx (1896-1982). (Yeah, you don’t want to get hit with a four-pound yo-yo right between the eyes. Or anywhere else.)

      I think that someone punked you. :mrgreen: According to the website below, the toymaker told that story, about the yo-yo being a weapon, did so as a marketing ploy. The yo-yo was popular in Europe in the 1700s. They even made a new style of yo-yo in the US, in the 1860s, which got patented:

      https://yoyo.fandom.com/wiki/History_of_the_Yo-yo#Origins

      1. Way back in the day, before Al Gore invented his Amazing Internet, Hack Stone saw a comedian on television doing a bit about the yo-yo being used as a weapon. His shtick including a fleet of bombers flying over a village, opening the bomb bay doors, and clonking the villagers on their heads with yo-yos.

  21. And in happier news, Governor Sununu continues to demonstrate why he was reelected by a 2:1 margin by ending the NH mask mandates effective today.

    Democrats are whining about it, but that should surprise absolutely nobody.

    Towns and individual businesses are still free to enforce their own mandates, but good luck with that outside of Durham, Portsmouth, and other stank-ass hippie towns or shops.

  22. Very late.

    But still on the right side of the grass.
    The left side has too many on weed.

  23. That picture at the top is how you look and feel when you hit the sixth plane of “Phildoesque Enlightenment”.

  24. Is anyone as tired as I am hearing about Prince Phillip and his Land Rover hearse.

  25. Not quite sure what I would do or say if someone dear to me showed up with that kind of haircut, but uproarious laughter would be the first reaction. If they supported themselves, they are free to do what they want on their own territory. All bets are off if they expect me or mine to support them looking like such a fool.

    1. Can you imagine owning a business and having someone show up applying for a job with a haircut like that? I grew up in the Midwest in the 70’s and 80’s when any kid showing up to school with a haircut like that would get their heads flushed all the way to China by the Jocks the moment they set foot in the locker room!

    2. I also picture that as one of the haircuts that Farcebook Censors, I mean moderators have.

  27. OMG.
    Stolen Valor Phony Admiral Prince WALT.

    [The Queen “put her foot down” at Prince Andrew’s desire to appear at his father’s funeral in an admiral’s uniform.

    The monarch decreed that none of the royal guests would be in military dress after her middle son caused a stir by ordering his tailor to prepare his uniform for a rank he technically never attained, the Daily Mail reported.]

    https://nypost.com/2021/04/17/queen-nixed-andrews-hope-to-play-admiral-at-prince-philips-funeral/

    1. Let the British Royal Family
      black suit military medals scrutiny begin!!!

      Thankfully, none of them are wearing medals on their thighs or asses.

  28. Remember Jeremy Dewitte’s showing up to court due to violence? Here’s the phone recordings, with redactions, where both Jennifer and Jeremy made separate calls. What happened here conflicts with what Jennifer latter said in court:

    1. Yes, but if can only be performed by someone with the dual quals as both a barber and a moyl.

  33. Update on local Bronze Star Black Leather Vest.
    ——
    Here he is, today, on new video.
    He goes on and on early on, but his knee blocks the view of the
    Bronze Star clearly seen at 7:50.

    It’s a family fireside chat for a local politician.
    Immigrants from Romania.
    The brother of this guy,
    on January 6 Capitol fighting video,
    is MISSING from the family fireside.
    (Local rumors are the brother is in hiding now.)

    Just putting this out there,
    so when his FOIA records come in,
    and his brother is national news, and likely in jail,
    you all have the VIDEO of this biker club founder in action.

    YouBoob Link cued to 7:50.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n7oMQlB_UM&t=470s

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