Mounted beard

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  1. I tried to ride a horse once. The horse won. It wasn’t pretty. I pulled back on the reins to make the horse stop. The problem was I pulled back and down. Damn beast would have given Secretariat a run for his money. And steering? Fahgetaboutit. Right off the path he went, full tilt. I bailed before I got whacked to death by branches. The other guys spent most of the day cussin’ me and looking for that horse.

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