Tag: Humor

  • Ask an Infantryman

    While Jonn is taking one for the team wallowing with the antiwar freak show, I’ll take a minute to answer an email from some troll who is totally down with the religion of peace gang. Though not a theologian, I’ll try to answer his question.

    What fascists like you can’t answer is the obvious and selfless devotion to one’s faith in the true Prophet that he is willing to strap explosives on and lay down his own life in service to Allah. Answer that infidel!

    Dear goat-humping, 7th century, savage:

    Let’s see now…

    No Jesus
    No Christmas
    No television
    No cheerleaders
    No Nude Women
    No NASCAR
    No football
    No tailgate parties
    No pork BBQ
    No hot dogs
    No lobster
    No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks
    No nachos
    No Beer !!!!!!!!
    Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
    Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he’s sick and there are no doctors.
    Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
    You can’t shave.
    Your wives can’t shave.
    You can’t shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
    Your bride is picked by someone else.
    She smells just like your donkey.
    But your donkey has a better disposition.
    Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!

    I mean, really, is there a mystery here?

    Hope this helps.