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Jeff LPH 3 sends.<\/p>\n
\nSocial Distancing Report<\/h3>\n
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.<\/p>\n
I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.<\/p>\n
I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
\nStill haven’t decided where to go for Easter —– The Living Room or The Bedroom<\/p>\nPSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.<\/p>\n
Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.<\/p>\n
I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone<\/p>\n
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog….. we laughed a lot.<\/p>\n
So, after this quarantine…..will the producers of My 600 Pound
\nLife just find me or do I find them?<\/p>\nQuarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.<\/p>\n
My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.<\/p>\n
Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.<\/p>\n
I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?<\/p>\n
I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom.<\/p>\n
Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.<\/p>\n
Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”…. I’m offended.<\/p>\n
Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under<\/p>\n
This message may contain outdated, useless information that an otherwise mature person would reject outright.<\/p>\n
Email contains material that may be offensive to children, prudes, or those with rigid religious or political beliefs.<\/p>\n
My intent is to amuse and\/or inform, and any opinions contained herein, whether expressed or implied, do not necessarily reflect my opinions or beliefs.<\/p>\n
Moreover, facts were not checked and no attempt was made to be politically correct.<\/p>\n
The author indicated may not have had anything to do with this story.<\/p>\n
In spite of all this, this may be informative.<\/p>\n
The reader should apply due diligence and research all items received from the internet, there are people out there that will deceive you. The apostle Paul writes, “examine [test] everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good”<\/p>\n
External links to other Internet sites should not be construed as an endorsement of the views or privacy policies contained therein.
\nReceipt by anyone other than the named recipient(s) should be considered a privilege.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nThanks Jeff.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"