![\"sky](\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/sky-penis-e1558280643436.jpg\")
\nIn 2017, a Navy flight crew roared into legend when they drew a giant phallus in the sky with the contrails of their jet, assuming it would quickly blow away. It did not. Now, Navy Times has obtained the transcript of the conversation that led to the ‘sky dong.’<\/p>\n
Mason has taken a break from his Valor Friday research (all work and no play…) and sends us the following article about the now infamous Sky Penis, and transcripts between the pilot and EWO during the commission of the event. Hang on, but someone watch 5\/77 and keep his hands away from those black and yellow striped handles.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe Balls are Going to be Lopsided\u201d: Hear rendition of Navy pilots’ plan to draw sky penis<\/em><\/strong> It prompted viral guffaws from some and online outrage from others.<\/p>\n There are shot glasses commemorating the event and it birthed memes ahead of the annual Army-Navy game.<\/p>\n But the inside story of how an EA-18G Growler jet crew drew a penis across the clear blue skies of Washington state in 2017 has never been told.<\/p>\n Until now.<\/p>\n It was the work of two junior officers with the \u201cZappers\u201d of Electronic Attack Squadron 130, who had sky time to kill and noticed that the white contrails their jet produced were particularly robust that afternoon.<\/p>\n But they never counted on those contrails lingering long enough for folks on the ground to see their phallic rendering, according to a copy of the military\u2019s sky penis investigation obtained exclusively by Navy Times.<\/p>\n KREM 2, a local TV station, broke the news after a woman snapped pics of the sky drawings on Nov. 16, 2017, near a training area for the squadron, which is based in western Washington at Naval Air Station Whidbey Island.<\/p>\n \u201cA mother who lives in Okanogan who took pictures of the drawings reached out to KREM 2 to complain about the images, saying she was upset she might have to explain to her young children what the drawings were,\u201d the station reported.<\/p>\n The story of the sky penis took wing from there, spreading umbrage and juvenile glee to all corners of the internet.<\/p>\n It also prompted nervous commanders to file urgent communiques to Navy leadership back in Washington, D.C., letting them know that this was about to turn into a thing.<\/p>\n Within hours of the phallic rendering, the squadron sent an alert to higher ups in an \u201cofficial information dispatch\u201d that reached the Office of the Chief of Naval Operations.<\/p>\n \u201cAircrew maneuvered an EA-18G aircraft in a pattern that resulted in contrails depicting an obscene symbol when viewed from the ground,\u201d it warned. \u201cMedia attention is expected.\u201d<\/p>\n Flying as \u201cZapper 21,\u201d the lieutenants responsible for the drawing took off from Whidbey with another jet at about noon that day, according to the investigation.<\/p>\n The squadron\u2019s commanding officer would later praise the pilot as a shy introvert and \u201ca \u2018whiz kid\u2019 who managed our training and readiness with higher efficiency and effectiveness than anyone else I have seen in a squadron,\u201d according to the investigation.<\/p>\n His cockpit partner that day, an electronic warfare officer, or EWO, was \u201cmy best junior officer,\u201d the CO noted.<\/p>\n What discipline the Zapper 21 duo faced remains unknown.<\/p>\n Citing privacy regulations, officials declined to provide such records, and all names are redacted in the report copy provided to Navy Times in response to a Freedom of Information Act request.<\/p>\n The day\u2019s flight was to be a standard 90 minutes of training over the skies of north-central Washington.<\/p>\n Their partner jet soon flew to another section of their training area, and the lieutenants got an idea.<\/p>\n The EWO broached it first, according to the investigation.<\/p>\n \u201cMy initial reaction was no, bad,\u201d the pilot wrote in a statement after the incident. \u201cBut for some reason still unknown to me, I eventually decided to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n Their sky penis plan of attack was captured on their cockpit video recording system, a transcript of which is included in the investigation.<\/p>\n \u201cDraw a giant penis,\u201d the EWO said. \u201cThat would be awesome.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did you do on your flight?\u201d the pilot joked. \u201cOh, we turned dinosaurs into sky penises.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou should totally try to draw a penis,\u201d the EWO advised.<\/p>\n \u201cI could definitely draw one, that would be easy,\u201d the pilot boasted. \u201cI could basically draw a figure eight and turn around and come back. I\u2019m gonna go down, grab some speed and hopefully get out of the contrail layer so they\u2019re not connected to each other.\u201d<\/p>\n They theorized on the second-order effects of their nascent sky drawing.<\/p>\n \u201cDude, that would be so funny,\u201d the pilot said. \u201cAirliner\u2019s coming back on their way into Seattle, just this big (expletive)ing, giant penis. We could almost draw a vein in the middle of it too.\u201d<\/p>\n Soon, the EWO reported they were definitely \u201cmarking.\u201d<\/p>\n They had found the sweet altitude, and the contrail sky penis was being born in their wake.<\/p>\n \u201cBalls are going to be a little lopsided,\u201d the pilot advised.<\/p>\n \u201cBalls are complete,\u201d he reported moments later. \u201cI just gotta navigate a little bit over here for the shaft.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhich way is the shaft going?\u201d the EWO asked.<\/p>\n \u201cThe shaft will go to the left,\u201d the pilot answered.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s gonna be a wide shaft,\u201d the EWO noted.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t wanna make it just like 3 balls,\u201d the pilot said.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s do it,\u201d the EWO said. \u201cOh, the head of that penis is going to be thick.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSome like Chinese weather satellite right now that\u2019s like, \u2018what the (expletive)?\u2019\u201d the pilot surmised.<\/p>\n The jet streaked across the sky, and the duo\u2019s magnum opus continued to take shape, showcasing the pilot\u2019s prowess in the process.<\/p>\n \u201cTo get out of this, I\u2019m gonna go like down and to the right,\u201d the pilot said. \u201cAnd we\u2019ll come back up over the top and try to take a look at it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have a feeling the balls will have dissipated by then,\u201d his partner answered.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s possible,\u201d the pilot said.<\/p>\n They flew away to a distance where they could take in their work.<\/p>\n They cracked up in the cockpit as their sky penis came into full view, snapping pics they would later delete once they realized their command would likely go apoplectic.<\/p>\n \u201cOh yes, that was (expletive)ing amazing,\u201d the pilot said. \u201cThis is so obvious.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a (expletive),\u201d the EWO said. \u201cDude, I\u2019m amazed that this stayed.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMishap pilot alpha said, \u2018Dude, I\u2019m gonna draw a (expletive),\u2019\u201d the EWO said. \u201cEWO alpha said, \u2018Yup, that\u2019s a great idea.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n They waited to see if their partner jet would notice their work.<\/p>\n \u201cYour artwork is amazing,\u201d the lieutenant commander EWO in the other jet radioed to them.<\/p>\n \u201cGlad you guys noticed,\u201d the pilot replied.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n JO’s. You just can’t think of enough things to tell them not to do. The fireworks start when our intrepid fliers return to base. Read the entire article here: Navy Times<\/a><\/p>\n Thanks, Mason. I think I’m actually caught up on my guest posts and links. This means I have to get hot on tomorrow’s FGS.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\nBy: <\/span> Geoff Ziezulewicz\u00a0<\/a><\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n