Longtime TAH readers know I travel a bit. For what it\u2019s worth, I\u2019m traveling now.<\/p>\n
And with apologies to a guy named Robert Clark Seger: \u201cWhen you\u2019re driving umpteen hours, there ain\u2019t nothing much to do\u201d that\u2019s reasonably safe \u2013 except to listen to music, either pre-recorded or on the radio. Sightseeing isn\u2019t a particularly good option while driving, and the same is true of most everything else that would take your eyes and attention off of the road.<\/p>\n
So yeah \u2013 I listen. And yeah, that means I\u2019m about to wander off the \u2018res a bit here.<\/p>\n
Fair warning: if you\u2019ve lost someone close recently \u2013 or are having difficulty dealing with a past loss of someone close \u2013 you might want to stop reading and skip the rest of this article. But if you haven\u2019t, IMO you really need to read what follows.<\/p>\n
. . .<\/strong> <\/p>\n Parents and their children often butt heads. The relationship can be difficult.<\/p>\n That\u2019s particularly true between same-sex parent and child pairs. Those relationships often become quite strained when the child hits their teenage years.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t really know why that is; I\u2019m no shrink. But I\u2019ll hazard a guess anyway.<\/p>\n I think the reason is evolutionary and hormonal. Humans are territorial animals, and seem to naturally gravitate to a hierarchical leadership model. Accordingly, in a family unit generally there\u2019s room for only one male and one female \u201ctop dog\u201d. <\/p>\n A maturing child threatens that structure. The child at some point reaches puberty, then young adulthood \u2013 and that change threatens the family\u2019s stability.<\/p>\n Sometimes things get really nasty; other times, not so much. But the conflict is often if not most often there to some degree in every family. The participants almost always work it out, forming adult\/near peer relationships in time. <\/p>\n That status holds for years, even decades. But eventually, if you\u2019re \u201clucky\u201d . . . you\u2019ll outlive your parents. And yes, the \u201clucky\u201d is in quotation marks in the previous sentence for reasons that should be obvious.<\/p>\n Burying a parent is hard \u2013 one of the hardest things you\u2019ll ever do. I can only think of a handful of experiences that IMO might be worse.<\/p>\n But another issue comes later. And it can be kinda hard to deal with.<\/p>\n Because after you\u2019ve buried a parent \u2013 or had one advance into dementia to the point they only rarely recognize you, perhaps, and maybe not even then \u2013 there are certain things you can\u2019t do any more.<\/p>\n In particular, you can\u2019t really ever tell them how much they mean to you \u2013 at least not in person. And I guarantee that after they\u2019re gone you will kick yourself, repeatedly, for not having told them what they mean to you on a regular and recurring basis when they were around to hear you tell them.<\/p>\n . . .<\/strong> <\/p>\n Yeah, a particular song spawned this article. It was one written by a successful singer who had a rather difficult relationship with his father.<\/p>\n The original version was written while the singer\u2019s father was dying a protracted death. The author reportedly sang that early version at his father\u2019s funeral.<\/p>\n It was later recorded, with some changes; it was released over a decade ago. It was awarded multiple Grammy awards.<\/p>\n If you choose to listen, since you now know the tune\u2019s background maybe having a tissue handy might be a good idea. Those who\u2019ve recently lost someone close, or who are having difficulty coming to terms with a past loss, IMO really<\/u> should pass on listening.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n