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<\/p>\n
I wrote this a while back, but now, it’s even better, ’cause fake news gets better all the time.<\/p>\n
– you keep telling people you\u2019re male\/female and you\u2019re straight, and they ask \u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n
–\u00a0 you realize that some day, you\u2019ll be able to use longhand (cursive) writing as a secret code.<\/p>\n
– you wonder when in the blue-eyed world Common Sense took a vacation and didn\u2019t tell you.<\/p>\n
– the minute another Earth-type planet is announced, you start wondering if you could move there.<\/p>\n
– the media people who use the suffix \u2018-gate\u2019 for every dumb idiot thing possible, including shutting down traffic lanes as a spiteful move, weren\u2019t even alive when Richard Nixon got fired for his approval of the Watergate Hotel break-in.<\/p>\n
– people think it\u2019s okay to let illegal immigrants on welfare into this country and give them stuff<\/em>, while legal immigrants spend almost forever achieving citizenship and become role models without sponging off taxpayers.<\/p>\n – you realize that your dog or cat is smarter and better educated than a lot of college grads you\u2019ve met.<\/p>\n –\u00a0 you go to a movie theater, see a \u2018Gun Free Zone\u2019 sign and decide to go home and watch the movie on Netflix or Amazon instead.<\/p>\n – people take selfies at accidents before they call emergency services, or they make up an offense that didn’t happen, call 911, and then get hammered for it instead of getting paid for it.<\/p>\n – a pregnant woman about to deliver her baby can\u2019t cross the street to her hospital because some conceited politician\u2019s cavalcade of cars won\u2019t let her.<\/p>\n – criminals video themselves committing a crime and post it on YouTube, or people video the crime but don’t report it.<\/p>\n – the tabloids at the checkout line have fewer stupid stories than your newspaper.<\/p>\n – the only thing worth reading in your newspaper is the list of farmer\u2019s market dates, the advice and horoscope columns, \u00a0and the comics.<\/p>\n – you\u2019d rather watch shows on the Antenna TV network than the current offerings. “Leave It To Beaver” doesn’t seem so dumb nowadays.<\/p>\n – when the news comes on, you\u2019ve already found more info online than the anchors have in front of them, and you know now that 3\/4 of what they say is made up out of dust bunnies, soggy napkins and empty peanut butter jars.<\/p>\n – you find a news story on a foreign news service that says US troops had mustard gas launched at them, but nothing on the stateside news, and nobody does anything about it. Instead, it’s mustard gas lobbed by our troops at the Bad Guys and it’s Trump’s fault.<\/p>\n – the headline in the news, and two full minutes\u2019 worth of media attention, is that a couple of overpaid so-so actors have decided to get a divorce because one of them can\u2019t keep his pants zipped and his wick dry, but a gas or rocket attack on US troops gets 15 seconds of air time, if that.<\/p>\n – the TV weather forecaster says there\u2019s a storm on the way to your area but it will break up before it reaches you, and 15 minutes later there\u2019s a downpour on your street, and the rain lasts all day; and then the “weather reporters” show up after the rain is gone and post videos of themselves in ditches while people are walking behind them on concrete with water 1\/2 inch deep.<\/p>\n – there are six different forecasts for the winter ahead, and you sincerely wish the weather people would just admit that they don\u2019t really know.<\/p>\n – it takes longer to get through the security check-ins at airports than it does to fly or drive to your destination.<\/p>\n – some douchebag braindead media twit says it\u2019s a good thing that a jihadist used explosives instead of guns in his efforts to kill people.<\/p>\n – a bunch of stank ass hippies and hyper-rich gasbags think that the population on this planet should be reduced from +\/- 7 billion to about 1 billion, but when you say \u2018you first\u2019, they give you horrified looks and sputter in protest.<\/p>\n – you get an e-mail from your subscription service to an earthquake reporting group that says North Korea set off a nuke, creating a seismic event that registered 5.3M, with a 20 to 30 kiloton explosion, but it’s ignored by the media until they’re forced to acknowledge it.<\/p>\n – you wake up one morning and realize that the Cold War Triad (USA, China, Russia\/USSR) has been revived and the threat of nuclear war has raised its ugly head again, but this time it includes Iran, Syria, Turkey and maybe North Korea (maybe not), and now you wonder if your friends with the underground bunker are really as nutty as you thought they were.<\/p>\n Those are just a few items. I\u2019m sure you all have more.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"