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As Ex-PH2 alluded to in her “Knock Yourselves Out” post, TAH is akin to a watering hole where Vets meet and greet, and swap fables known in the Navy as “Sea Stories.” I’m certain the nautically challenged services have similar. A fairy tale starts with “Once upon a time” but a Sea Story always begins with, “Now this ain’t no shit.” So post up your favorite Sea Story or their equivalent. Here’s one of mine.<\/p>\n
Now this ain’t no shit…
\nSo there AWANEd was, onboard Naval Air Station Jacksonville, FLA (NAS JAX, or just JAX) on Day 2 of Rescue Swimmer School. The same morning PT regimen was conducted, including the Hospital Run, and we broke for lunch. (Day one was pretty brutal, and we lost about 30% of the class right off the bat, exactly as the instructors planned). <\/p>\n
Much different choices for chow today among the now wiser remaining SAR candidates, I had soup and a salad, because we were hitting the pool for the first time.<\/p>\n
It was called a Practical Evaluation, where the instructors would see if any of us could actually swim. Which is kind of key to become a Helicopter Rescue Swimmer.<\/p>\n
An aside, passing SAR School was really not an option for me, as we were told if failed, our next stop would be ship’s company as a non-rate, meaning get familiar with deck grinders and paint brushes, or aircraft chocks and tie-down chains, depending. You can pick the ship’s color as long as its haze gray; they’ll pick the number. Neither option charmed me much.<\/p>\n
So, after chow we mustered at the pool in our shorts and tee shirts, now stenciled with a number and name. No fins or dive mask allowed. The swimming pool, OK, training tank, was 50 yards in length and 12 feet down, everywhere. No splishy splashy shallow end. 12 lanes were described by dark tiles. The eval itself was one lap (up and back, 100 yards) of breast stroke, side stroke, and elementary back stroke, where your hands never break the water’s surface, easy.<\/p>\n
I had been on swim teams since I was 8 years old, and raced for our high school’s team. We got to State level, but were crushed by a team of mutants who I swear had webbed toes and gills. Really cute young ladies, though, which had a big input on my swim team participation. <\/p>\n
Anyway, my turn in the tank. This is a timed event, too, so just finishing doesn’t mean you pass. It means you MIGHT get another shot.<\/p>\n
I jumped in, and started, making good time with the breast stroke (I used to race the 100 and 200 meter breast events) the went to the side stroke, which was easy, but nothing I’d spent a lot of time doing in the past, and then the elementary back stroke, sort of a breast stroke, flipped. Boring. I was well ahead of the clock. Then it hit me, I could impress the instructors with my swimming expertise by finishing the last 50 yards doing the butterfly, a fast double overarm stroke with a dolphin kick. So I did.<\/p>\n
What a bad mistake. <\/p>\n
“What the F do we have here? Mark F-ing Spitz??!!”
\n“Why are you F-ing up MY Navy practical eval, AWANED? Are you a F-ing commie??!!”
\n“I think Mark F-ing Spitz here needs to meet the Blue Baby!”<\/p>\n
Oops.<\/p>\n
I had managed to single myself out for special attention by the instructor cadre, not a good thing. I got the Blue Baby.<\/p>\n
The Blue Baby is a 10 pound dumbbell weight, and cannot get wet. Doesn’t sound like much, until you have to swim with it. I was “awarded” 100 yards with the Blue Baby, and a ridiculously short time to complete the swim. I opted for the now not so boring elementary back stroke, and completed the 100 yards well passed the allotted, impossible time.<\/p>\n
So, up on the deck for some extra PT because I didn’t meet the Blue Baby time, and repeat the Practical Evaluation, because I “contaminated” the first one with an unapproved swim stroke. I didn’t opt for the butterfly finale, this time. And I did pass just fine. Lesson learned. <\/p>\n
The rest of the class were kept busy with push-ups and flutter kicks and what not while I swam. They weren’t especially happy with me, but the instructors would have found another reason to PT them.
\nIt was going to be a long eight weeks.<\/p>\n
And guess what my nick name was for the duration.<\/p>\n
F’n Mark Spitz.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"