{"id":7927,"date":"2009-02-17T17:38:43","date_gmt":"2009-02-17T22:38:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=7927"},"modified":"2009-02-17T18:00:06","modified_gmt":"2009-02-17T23:00:06","slug":"aar-my-trip-to-texas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=7927","title":{"rendered":"AAR- My Trip to Texas"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>
\nStatue of man on chair with cactus head and duck head penis on left, WAY too hot\/young for me girlfriend on right.<\/em><\/p>\n

OK, so more than 1 person has sent me emails and text messages questioning where I am. A sampling:
\n1) Dude, where the [fiddlesticks] are you? Are you dead?
\n2) How much money do you need for bail?
\n3) Did you finally realize your dream and run off with a traveling troupe of transvestite troubadours?<\/p>\n

No, I am alive and well, and have returned from St Cupids day with my gal. So, some rapid fire stuff on stuff I would have posted had I been here.
\n
\n1) Dahr Jamail remains my favorite comedian. Dude is an assclown without peers amongst the lunatic fringe. Which is why this HuffPo post demolishing him has me crying tears of mirth.<\/a><\/p>\n

2) A Challenge to Lefties. One of my weekend activities with my lass was volunteering at the USO on Sat and Sun. The ladies there are awesome, if a bit huggy. (TSO doesn’t really do hugs.) But they were wonderful, and made me feel good to spend time with them. But the challenge to the lefties is this: USO will always take volunteers to greet and send off the troops at the airport. You lefties need to go do that. You support the troops, so go and actually talk to them. I don’t know what abberation occurred at DFW this weekend, but the memo that our troops are broken and dispirited somehow didn’t get to them. I talked to a colonel working Detainee issues (JAG, but in MP company) who quit his private practice to volunteer. He thinks Congress doesn’t grasp the concepts involved. He was of course correct. I talked to an Engineer who builds bridges. He’s from Oregon, but attached to an Arkansas Guard unit. That dude single handed encouraged me on the “rightness” of what we are doing, and we never even talked politics. Anyway, go talk to the troops, then if you still believe we are wrong, I will at least give you a tip o’ the hat.<\/p>\n

3) Speaking of the USO- When I was on Bagram we had a USO tour come through to open the Pat Tilman USO center, and they brought Warrick Dunn, who is a class act, and the guy who has always been one of my favorite little-known football players, special teams guy for the Patriots, Larry Izzo. Small guy, lots of heart. Not many people knew who he was, but I did, and I appreciated the fact that he came over to talk to us. He wasn’t a super-star like Dunn, just a guy doing his job, like we were. Which is why news today that Izzo will be testifying against Barry Bonds and allegedly admitting to steroids usage has me feeling low. Why Larry? Why dude? I’m older than you and it still broke my heart. Love you for coming over there, but you let us down…. On a similar note, is Johnny Damon retarded? I can’t believe I ever liked that guy. If you get a chance to see him on ESPN today discussing A-Roid, tell me the guy doesn’t ride the short bus to practice.<\/p>\n

4) JFK conspiracy theorists- what am I missing? I went to the book depository building this week in Dallas, and it’s like all of 80 meters to where he hit Kennedy. And moving target is a load of crap, the car wasn’t ducking and weaving behind cover. I’m pretty sure a drunk monkey could have hit him with 5.56 rounds shot from a slingshot. Maybe I totally missed something, but in person everything didn’t look that difficult. That’s the last time I take anything Oliver Stone says as the gospel truth.<\/p>\n

5) Psyche- This may be the best show on TV. My Irish Gal made me a lasagna and loaf of garlic bread and we vegged and watched like 20 hours of that show this weekend. Can I get an Amen for that being the best show on TV?<\/p>\n

6) Art- My loathing of art has been moderately well documented, which is why the lass plied me with coke made from pure cane sugar before she dragged me into some art place this weekend. Now, the cactus head, duck penis thing I thought was a stroke of genius, really making me feel the artists longing for flying south in winter or something. I mean, he could have gone with cactus penis and duck head, but that would have told me nothing at all about the internal struggle which man strives to overcome. However, I did find an artist I like. And I emailed that guy today, and he responded that “I’m not really an “artiste” I just like to make cool looking shit.” <\/p>\n

So, any of you with like $1500 laying around, I need Barry Kooda’s work to place in my foyer.<\/a> I also need a foyer, so anyone who can get me a house, a la Henrietta Hippo Hughes, it would be appreciated.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nTSO: And Mr. President, I need my own house, my own kitchen, and my own Barry Kooda masterpiece to greet people coming into my palatial villa begotten of stolen tax funds…<\/em><\/p>\n

BTW- Thanks to SFC Buntz for the totally awesome V-Day gift idea of Sham Wows. When a girl gets a gift like that, its just puts her in the luvin’ mood. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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