{"id":71799,"date":"2017-05-01T13:00:32","date_gmt":"2017-05-01T17:00:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=71799"},"modified":"2017-05-01T11:38:16","modified_gmt":"2017-05-01T15:38:16","slug":"for-our-readers-amusement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=71799","title":{"rendered":"For Our Readers’ Amusement"},"content":{"rendered":"

Well, I hope most<\/em> of our readers will be amused – though I’m reasonably certain that humorless ideologues won’t be.<\/p>\n

Gee.\u00a0 That’s too bad.<\/p>\n

But since today is the\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Communist<\/del>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 “Progressive” High Holy Day called May Day<\/em><\/a>, these just seem apropos.\u00a0 (smile)<\/p>\n

Backstory:\u00a0 longtime readers know I’m into music and am also a somewhat sardonic individual.\u00a0 Sometimes a\u00a0 “modified” lyrical phrase will get stuck in my head – eventually forcing me to complete the tune’s conversion in semi-Yankovician<\/em><\/a> style.\u00a0 (smile)<\/p>\n

Without further ado:\u00a0 in the tradition of both “Weird Al” Yankovic and Rocky & Bullwinkle’s “Fractured Fairy Tales”<\/em><\/a>, here are two more “rewritten” popular tunes of yesteryear for your reading pleasure.\u00a0 If you’re unfamiliar with the originals, they can be viewed\/listened to here<\/em><\/a> and here<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Enjoy.<\/p>\n

. . .<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Poodle Logic<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Well I\u2019m crisscrossing my homeland <\/em>
\n In the Useful Idiot show <\/em>
\n Now I\u2019m resting here in Berkeley <\/em>
\n Fellow Traveler Central, yo<\/em><\/p>\n

And I’m preachin\u2019 to proles daily, but they just laugh <\/em>
\n They say I sound just like stuck phonograph <\/em>
\n Claim Marx is gone forever <\/em>
\n Gone such a long time ago, oh yeah<\/em><\/p>\n

I have never met Mao Zedong<\/em>
\n But I plan to find the time <\/em>
\n And I\u2019ve never met Joe Stalin<\/em>
\n Another true hero of mine <\/em><\/p>\n

‘Cause he looked so fine on Kremlin hill <\/em>
\n I say they both were Great Men, they\u2019re Great Men still<\/em>
\n No need to fear the commie<\/a><\/em>
\n Forget all the millions they killed, oh yeah<\/em><\/p>\n

I stepped up on the platform <\/em>
\n They forced me to my knees<\/em>
\n \u201cYour usefulness has ended son <\/em>
\n Time to face the steel breeze <\/em>
\n Your soul must ride the breeze\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Please tell me you\u2019re just joking, that\u2019s just for show? <\/em>
\n I\u2019m really quite superior, why don’t you know?<\/em>
\n Wait, what? I\u2019m<\/span> done forever? <\/em>
\n Usefulness ended long ago? Oh, no . . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Reordering the House<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Reordering the house<\/em>
\n Now Trump\u2019s the POTUS<\/em>
\n Pelosi’s gone to pieces and collapsed in pain<\/em><\/p>\n

Reordering the house<\/em>
\n Progs now duck and cover<\/em>
\n Their future journey\u2019 will be over rough terrain<\/em><\/p>\n

Reordering the house<\/em>
\n Real-world wisdom<\/em>
\n Leftists all punch drunk, staggering around<\/em><\/p>\n

Reordering the house<\/em>
\n There’s a new, brand new sheriff<\/em>
\n And the new guy in charge is gonna turn the whole thing \u2019round<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s brash and outspoken<\/em>
\n Don\u2019t like it? Well, boo hoo<\/em>
\n Just what did you expect<\/em>
\n He\u2019s a Noo Yawker through and through<\/em><\/p>\n

Reordering the house<\/em>
\n For the Left, hurts like flame<\/em>
\n Even the Vermont Commie seems to feel ashamed<\/em><\/p>\n

Reordering the house<\/em>
\n Now maybe we\u2019ll get lucky<\/em>
\n And the Earth will open and swallow up the 4th estate<\/em><\/p>\n

Clintons got their paycheck<\/em>
\n Now maybe they\u2019ll both go away<\/em>
\n They can go to Paris or to Fiji \u2013 and maybe there they’ll stay<\/em><\/p>\n

Home again of the brave and the land of the free<\/em>
\n And much better off now without Hillary<\/em><\/p>\n

Reordering the house<\/em>
\n Plans didn\u2019t work out<\/em>
\n Libs sprawled across the davenport of despair<\/em><\/p>\n

Reordering the house<\/em>
\n If you can\u2019t stand your losses<\/em>
\n Then keep your word, and get the hell out of here<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Appropriate apologies to Walter Becker, Donald Fagan, Jorge Calder\u00f3n, and the late Warren Zevon for the above satirical modifications to their original lyrics.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well, I hope most of our readers will be amused – though I’m reasonably certain that … For Our Readers’ Amusement<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":623,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,170],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-71799","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blather","category-who-knows"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71799","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/623"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=71799"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71799\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=71799"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=71799"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=71799"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}