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On a bright, clear Monday morning, a large group of military chaplains gathered together at the headquarters of Michael Weinstein to protest the mischief being done by the self-appointed RAHIC through his insistence on removing Christian religious symbols from military bases.\u00a0 They noted that he has been targeting just about anything that even vaguely resembles a cross, including two sticks blown down in a windstorm, while completely ignoring other denominations.<\/p>\n
Deeming it gravely unfair to focus on one religious group alone, they have formed a Syneaudde Premarius to get signatures on a petition to force him to acknowledge all branches of religious persuasions or give up his campaign and stop whining.<\/p>\n
A group at a roundtable discussion included the following indignant dignitaries:<\/p>\n
Rev. Vic Vickers, the Vicar of Viccmoor Parish<\/p>\n
Rev. Juan del Bautisto, Eglisia de los Muertos<\/p>\n
Rabbi Shlomo Herschell<\/p>\n
Dr. D. B. Cooper, DDV<\/p>\n
Asriel Biegattmie, Pagan Society\/Wiccans United<\/p>\n
Corbyrne Maelwrydd, Thornborough Druidic Campagne<\/p>\n
Deogredde de Mantua, Knights of Malta<\/p>\n
Sprig Musumba Diego, Nicenian Pastafarians<\/p>\n
Dilbe Agnew, High Priestess, Isle of Lesbos Temples<\/p>\n
\u201cWe feel that he\u2019s discriminating against less well-known sects like ours,\u201d said Her Priestessness Dilbe Agnew. \u201cIt\u2019s unfortunate that, in these times of open societies, someone like Michael\u00a0Weinstein is picking on one group only, the poor old Christians who\u2019ve been picked on for 2,000 years. Even the Romans gave us the occasional nod, y\u2019know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019d like to point out that focusing on a single view of divine\u00a0divinity\u00a0is unfair to the other orders,\u201d said Ms. Bigattmie, waving her wand around. \u201cWe witches have had our share of misery, but it\u2019s all fluffy bunny stuff now, and it\u2019s because of him and his obsession with crosspieces. He probably pickets factories that put crosshairs in targeting scopes, too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Thornborough Druidic Campagne spokes-Druid Maelwrydd agreed while he was handing out leaflets about portable stone circles. \u201cWe\u2019ve been hanging mistletoe on every base at winter solstice for years, and he\u2019s never once shown up to picket the bull sacrifice. It\u2019s the only time of year we eat a lot of meat, too. His negligence is noted. We don\u2019t think he\u2019s even remotely earning that nearly half-million big ones\u00a0 that he gets as a paycheck. That money could buy a lot of bulls and oak groves, you know.\u00a0 Maybe our stuff isn\u2019t so spectacular, but we\u2019re open to everyone. Those stone circles are everywhere. We just build a fire, sing some songs, roast wienies, and chase away the Dark Forces at Hallowe\u2019en. How cool is that? And he\u2019s ignoring us. It\u2019s\u00a0 completely unfair.\u201d<\/p>\n
What the group of protesters is looking for is fair representation in Mr. Weinstein\u2019s campaign of snubbing, picketing, and dissing religious preferences.<\/p>\n
\u201cEither it\u2019s all of us, or he stops his exclusive targeting now,\u201d Sprig Diego said. \u201cWe Pastafarians welcome everyone at the table, especially on Pasta Carbonara night. We\u2019ve sent invitations to him to join us and hear our side of the plate, but he\u2019s ignored all of us. That hurts our feelings.\u201d<\/p>\n
When asked for an opinion about Mr. Weinstein\u2019s preference for sniping at crosses and wanting those images removed, Vicar Vic Vickers speculated that it may have had something to do with not getting as many toys during the holidays as he was expecting when he was 10 years old.<\/p>\n
Rabbi Shlomo Herschell seconded that opinion, reflecting that \u201ca lot of adult angst has to do with not getting that pink Barbie bicycle you were expecting.\u201d He added. \u201cIt\u2019s sad, but true. Must have hit Mr. Weinstein the hard way.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"