My biggest issue through out my life has been my ability to focus and concentrate on one path or goal. Whatever it is that I pursue I go all in on it…at first. I have a hard time seeing things through to the finish line, either because I get scared (fear of success and failure simultaneously), or I just get bored.<\/p>\n
Once I’ve mastered something or it no longer becomes challenging I lose interest. On the opposite end; once it gets too challenging and I’m unable to master it, I’ve done the worst thing and that’s quitting. <\/p>\n
This all or nothing mentality has been a huge limiting factor for me in the most important of things; personal relationships.<\/p>\n
It’s hard for people to trust you if you don’t deliver on your promises. Even your most sincere efforts may be viewed as dishonest, since there’s no trust available to put faith into. <\/p>\n
My biggest mistakes in life and the ones that led me to a point where I was willing to quit on the most important thing (life); was my selfishness in expending my time and effort into the things I WANTed to do and not the things I NEEDed to do.<\/p>\n
These self imposed failures ultimately made me feel that that was what defined me. I lose sight often of the good things I’ve done; I married the best woman I’ve ever met and became a father, the rehabilitation of two suicidal troops and the emotional support to a third following a miscarriage. Each one of them has told me several years later how much impact I had on their lives but…somehow even those things couldn’t make me happy. I was ready to quit for good. But that’s the permanent solution to temporary problems and contrary to common sense. <\/p>\n
Going forward I’m looking to bolster my strengths with achieving goals. Starting with every day making a list of goals and sticking to them. If I struggle with interpersonal skills; my goal will become being a good co-worker that day, or sitting quietly in a meeting even if I know my input is valid but because it may not be the right time.<\/p>\n
But ultimately I hope these daily goals will contribute to my overall goal; being a good father.<\/p>\n
My path now is to learn as much about sleep, diet, exercise and neuroscience as I can. I want to help people live longer and have more time on this earth with their loved ones. I’ve wasted enough of people’s time talking about myself so I’ll try to write about the things I’ve learned along the way and what I’m learning now. I’ve met some amazing people in this life and I can write about them and give them credit for how they’ve influenced me. By playing to my strengths and turning my wants into my needs, I aim to create a constructive cycle of positivity and happier times.<\/p>\n
The biggest obstacle that stands in my way is how easily I get distracted and how much I care. I care so much about the mistreatment of other people and have spent a lot of time reflecting on the ways that I’ve mistreated others in the past. It made me feel guilty and depressed and it’s something I struggle with daily. I can’t care enough for someone else and I can’t make anyone care about me. I can try to be better and will do my best to acknowledge my failures a bit more privately than I have been. Hopefully this will lead to more positive outcomes and impact my ability to be a happier person. Endorphins are great for that so I’ll stick with the exercising.<\/p>\n
The goal I have for my writing now is to write about common problems and common sense solutions. I’ll inevitably draw parallels to my own life but I view that as a way I can teach others from my mistakes and also what works. I’m not a doctor or a health care provider but I will be consulting with professionals and referencing my sources appropriately. In no way should my advice be taken in favor of a more competent professional. These are mainly just competent hypotheses that make sense to me. <\/p>\n
I’ve tried to search for the quote to avoid plagiarism, but this is something that is keeping me motivated: “I may not have the strength at the moment; but if it is within the compass of man it is within me.” -Unknown<\/p>\n
More to follow. – Kilo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"