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<\/p>\nNever Say Never<\/p>\n
Two things I used to teach my subordinates working in Intel; never say never and never say always. If you avoid making absolute declarations it makes it more difficult for you to be proven wrong. Nothing always or never happens on the battlefield or in life, because of change. Change is constant and ever present and really one of the few things that you can say honestly, is always happening.<\/p>\n
Our knowledge of what occurs on the battlefield is based solely off of our own perception and what we know, what we hear, see, and read about. Our perception is our reality, our reality is our truth.<\/p>\n
Spirituality came up a lot in the comments of my suicide post so I\u2019ll take the time to acknowledge and share about my personal experiences and current status on the topic since I\u2019m mainly writing to focus on the story of my recovery in hopes that it will inspire others. Maybe it will save a life and give someone the gift of time. Time being our most precious resource as it cannot be replaced and our lives are recorded by how we spend and invest our time.<\/p>\n
After my parents divorce we moved in with my grandparents John and Ruth (they say you die twice, when you exhale your last breath and the last time someone says your name. I won\u2019t let them die in my lifetime; I will say their names). They were truly exceptional people; devout catholics and active in all things church and religion. I idolized my grandfather, he was my paternal influence and I wish I could seek his guidance and advice daily. Two of my aunts are sisters in the catholic church and phenomenal people as they are 2 of 17 of my grandparents children. That\u2019s right, 17 kids. One was adopted as my mother is the eldest of the last three girls. There was an age gap between her and her older brother so, not wanting her to grow up without female companionship, they adopted my aunt Deb (another great person). Shortly after they were blessed with my aunt Suzie (the namesake of my daughter\u2019s middle name who passed when I was 5). We lived with my grandparents from the age of 4 until he suffered a simultaneous stroke and heart attack (he had arrhythmia and could not serve unfortunately) when I was 7.<\/p>\n
I was home schooled by my grandmother for a year and a lot of my development and academic success is likely because of that year. Some of my fondest memories as a boy are from riding in the truck with my grandfather doing newspaper vending machine deliveries and listening to NPR and classical music.<\/p>\n
So; devout Spanish, Irish and Finish Catholics tend to have large families and we have a huge one (no reality show though thank goodness). Catechism classes were taught in our house and I dominated the prayer memorization competition in my own Catechism class. I was raised to be an altar boy and was baptized catholic. Fast forward to high school and I start running track and cross country meeting a great friend named Jimmy. Dude was awesome; we had similar tastes in music, cars, and faith. He drove a BMW 318is that was lowered and had a stereo and wheels. Awesome car with a lot of great memories made. We went to church together and I found a place for my musical ear. I got into doing audio mixing and set up and tear down of the band equipment. I\u2019d show up to practice on Wednesdays and church on Sundays (usually after a sleepless night at the street races or skating) and worship and pray. It got me through some of the toughest times of my teenage years and kept me focused on my future and out of trouble (I always seem to find trouble regardless). I went to Christian Camp at Hume Lake after my senior year and even considered applying for a position doing audio mixing and set up and tear down of band equipment there.<\/p>\n
I joined the military 6 months after high school and went to church a few times and even a prayer group with my former supervisor and mentor Grayson (Veteran, Suicide).<\/p>\n
I just can\u2019t stand the tainted image of the lord in the eyes and words of man. I\u2019m not really an atheist, just often confused and ashamed of the conduct of mankind and the way he uses god, religion, and faith as an excuse for deplorable actions towards our fellow man. I don\u2019t care for miracle mongering and the preaching of fear of eternal hellfire and damnation.<\/p>\n
I currently prefer a mixture of eastern and western philosophy and find stoicism quite appealing. My reading list is quite full at the moment but I have read the bible (King James NIV). I have a tattoo of a cross on my back and my dog tags list Christian as my denomination.<\/p>\n
From Marcus Aurelius: A Guide for the Perplexed<\/p>\n
Book by William O. Stephens<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not the biggest fan of memes but this one raises some pretty important questions about Christianity:<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not going to say I\u2019ll NEVER be religious or more spiritual than I currently am or have been in the past. I\u2019m just learning and listening to dissenting points of view and thinking critically about what I believe in. I\u2019m evaluating the sources of the information and I value the virtue of truth.<\/p>\n
I am not and will try at all costs to avoid belittling people of faith or their religious preference, as it\u2019s simply too incendiary and I don\u2019t know enough to be considered a credible source on the topic.<\/p>\n
Whether this is directly attributable to Marcus or not is irrelevant to me, I like it:<\/p>\n
“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but…will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”<\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n
The closest thing to that in my copy of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations is this:<\/strong><\/p>\n
“Now departure from the world of men is nothing to fear, if gods exist: because they would not involve you in any harm. If they do not exist, or if they have no care for humankind, then what is life to me in a world devoid of gods, or devoid of providence? But they do exist, and they do care for humankind: and they have put it absolutely in man’s power to avoid falling into the true kinds of harm.”<\/i>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n
\u2014Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.11<\/strong><\/p>\n
Source: http:\/\/undeniably-atheist.blogspot.com\/2011\/10\/fabricated-marcus-aurelius-quote.html<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
If god created man in the image of himself, are we all not then fallible gods capable of godliness but stopped by our own fears and manlike vices and behavior? Can we not all be god like?<\/p>\n
I was taught by my grandfather that can’t mean’s won’t. Many of you have been taught this same tenet. I believe we can be who we want to be (and possibly destined to be) if we eliminate irrational fears and selfish ego driven behaviors.<\/p>\n
More to follow. -Kilo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"