{"id":67242,"date":"2016-08-02T11:35:34","date_gmt":"2016-08-02T15:35:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=67242"},"modified":"2016-08-02T10:38:49","modified_gmt":"2016-08-02T14:38:49","slug":"do-not-try-this-at-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=67242","title":{"rendered":"Yer Midweek Funny: Do NOT Try This At Home"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/del>Here\u2019s a stunt you do NOT want to attempt yourself.<\/p>\n

Man encases genitals in plaster, gets stuck<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Why not, you ask?\u00a0 I mean, what\u2019s wrong with making a cast of your . . . self for posterity?<\/p>\n

Well, it\u2019s like this.\u00a0 Plaster generates additional heat as it cures.<\/p>\n

The \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 dumb ass<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 individual doing this had already warmed the plaster to around 158 F before applying it.\u00a0 That\u2019s fairly hot to begin with \u2013 and as the plaster cured, it got considerably hotter.<\/p>\n

As the man began to experience literal bratwurst<\/em>, he attempted to remove the plaster.\u00a0 Unfortunately, by that point in time the plaster was rather well hardened.\u00a0 He was desperate, though \u2013 resorting to using a hammer and chisel<\/em>, a saw<\/em>, and even a power drill<\/em> to free his trapped appendage.<\/p>\n

He did eventually end up extricating his family jewels from their artificial stone prison.\u00a0 However, as he put it, \u201cMy (groin was) so hot, I thought they would turn into charcoal.\u201d<\/p>\n

The individual in question is a Russian blogger who goes by the name of \u201cBoroda Dead\u201d.\u00a0 He\u2019s damned lucky that he doesn\u2019t have to change his online moniker now to \u201cJohnson Dead\u201d.<\/p>\n

Dolbo’yeb<\/em> here apparently made a video of his ordeal, which has now reputedly gone viral.\u00a0 Sorry, folks – you’ll have to search the Internet yourself to find that video if you want to watch it.\u00a0 I’m not going to look for it.<\/p>\n

Sheesh.\u00a0\u00a0 Looks like\u00a0we once again have more proof that the Refreshments were right<\/em><\/a> 25+ years ago.\u00a0 But tell me:\u00a0 who’d have guessed that that famous aspiring rapper \u201c1-DMF\u201d had relatives in Russia?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s a stunt you do NOT want to attempt yourself. Man encases genitals in plaster, gets … Yer Midweek Funny: Do NOT Try This At Home<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":623,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[209,177,236,271],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-67242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-teh-stoopid","category-dumbass-bullshit","category-wtf","category-ygbsm"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67242","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/623"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=67242"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67242\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=67242"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=67242"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=67242"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}