![\"Joseph](\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Joseph-Figueroa-219x300.jpg\")
<\/a><\/center><\/p>\nSo, this creep, Joseph Figueroa has been skulking around New York City in the above-pictured uniform, claiming to be an FBI agent as well as a former SEAL and Marine, mostly to get the ladies, according to the New York Post<\/a>.<\/p>\n The Inwood man\u2019s idea of dressing for a date involved strapping a gun to his waist, studding his shirt with an array of badges and pins and ironing a US-flag patch on each shoulder.<\/p>\n The only problem is that he is not a federal agent.<\/p>\n His title of \u201cfederal task force agent for abused females and kids\u201d is totally made up.<\/p>\n \u201cThis guy has been impersonating police\u201d to meet women, a source told The Post of Figueroa, 54, who lives with his mother and was arrested at their Dyckman Projects home on Wednesday.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The truth is that he worked in bodega. Part of his actual dating preparation included pointing his gun at the ladies, because that works all of the time – but that’s how he ended up in court this last time;<\/p>\n [W]hen she tried to call it quits, he began stalking her \u2014 showing up at her place and even bothering her friends, the source alleged.<\/p>\n \u201cHe was popping up at their homes at night, unannounced, telling them he was \u2018the law\u2019 and they can\u2019t get rid of him,\u201d the source alleged.<\/p>\n \u201cAt one point, he pulls up to her job and, in front of everyone, pulls his gun out and points it at her while in this fake uniform \u2014 which is why he was collared.\u201d<\/p>\n Figueroa was arraigned Thursday night on charges of harassment, forgery and unlawful surveillance. He was released on $1,500 cash bail \u2014 posted by his mother.<\/p>\n \u201cYou f-?-king morons!\u201d Figueroa shouted at a Post reporter and photographer outside court. \u201cYou want to go to the hospital? Try taking another one of me, motherf-?-ker, you!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Such a sweet talker. But, you know, stolen valor is a victimless crime.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"