{"id":57286,"date":"2014-12-23T08:29:58","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T13:29:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=57286"},"modified":"2014-12-24T07:15:31","modified_gmt":"2014-12-24T12:15:31","slug":"excremental-eight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=57286","title":{"rendered":"Excremental Eight"},"content":{"rendered":"

RESULTS:
\nWEST: Forwalt def. DeCare: 74-26
\nWEST: Church def. Davis: 55-45
\nNORTH: Chevalier def. Gimbl: 77-23
\nNORTH: Korfhage def. Kleyla: 55-45
\nSOUTH: Visconi def. Lawler: 81-19
\nSOUTH: Rahn def. Banks: 58-42
\nEAST: Bernath def. Stern: 90-10
\nEAST: Colyer Def. Yetman: 55-45<\/p>\n

WEST REGIONAL<\/strong><\/p>\n

1) Nate Fornwalt, Lemonade Stand Stealing Phony, Embellisher<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Fornwalt_Nate\"<\/a>
\nCLAIM<\/strong>: Wounded veteran with numerous purple hearts, Marine Special Ops.
\nTRUTH<\/strong>: Iraq vet with no purple hearts, no Special Ops.<\/p>\n

Before becoming famous for stealing money from a kids lemonade stand, Fornwalt the Forlorn here was making snowmen “spattered with red paint, fake blood, symbolizing the blood he, and others, had shed in defense of their country, blood from his wounds that left his body, and mind, scarred, and have forced him, at 33, to face his own mortality.” Of course then he put all the medals and rank he didn’t earn on the snowman, because that’s what you do. But he builds snowmen because…”Being an adult, we forget we were kids at one point,” he said. “I try to keep in touch with that child, that 13-year-old boy inside.” Yeah, I like to stay young by stealing kids money too. Shitdick.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

2) Derek Church, The Real Unslim Shady, Embellisher<\/strong>
\n\"Church_Derek\"<\/a>
\nCLAIM<\/strong>: SSG, Ranger, 82nd, Infantry, Straight.
\nTRUTH<\/strong>: PFC, 18 months as a nasty girl then a quick exit.
\nIt’s pretty obvious how this guy made it this far, I mean, just look at him. He looks like the physical manifestation of the Sumerian<\/a> deity Gozer<\/a>. (\u201cIt just popped in there. . . I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft!\u201d) But besides the awesome look he is cultivating, my favorite thing is his sockpuppet friend Will Chamberlain who warned that “I suggest you all get off his damn back before you wind up with the entire 75th ranger regiment on your fucking door step!!” Really? The entire regiment? They’ve got nothing going on so they are all gonna fly in from Washington and Georgia to set us straight on this fat body? I’ve known a 75th guy or 10 in my day, so if they really are coming, you might want to stock up on booze.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

NORTH REGIONAL<\/strong><\/p>\n

1) Dennis Chevalier, Seven Wives and Counting, Valor Thief<\/strong>
\n \"Chevalier_Dennis\"<\/a><\/strong>
\nCLAIM:<\/strong> LTC, US Air Force, Pilot
\nTRUTH:<\/strong> PFC, Texas State Militia, 20 Glorious Days in Texas National Guard<\/p>\n

Chevy is well know to all, but his website is straight fire, especially when he attacks us.<\/p>\n

“When you expose bad guys for the low-life\u2019s they are, they will retaliate with everything they have in their little pea-sized brains. They will lie, cheat and steal. They will manipulate anyone and everyone of weak minded constitutions. I and others have exposed the internet terrorist “This Ain\u2019t hell site” as being military rejects, military want-a-bees and felons. They were exposed with public records written by others on their lack of self-control and criminal behaviors so they manufactured lies against me and others that have exposed their antics.”<\/p>\n

Straight fire!<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

2) James Korfhage, Threats Schmets, get in your car already, Embellisher<\/strong>
\n\"Korfhage_James\"<\/a>
\nCLAIM:<\/strong> Army Ranger
\nTRUTH:<\/strong> 21 Days at basic.
\nKorfhage was leaving Georgia on September 4, and was going to kill Jonn and his family, after a little torture session. He still hasn’t made it. If he took I-81 to Jonn’s house, it would be 670 miles. The only guy to move slower than this is a Purple Heart Parachutist LRRP Ranger Special Forces Guy that lives in Florida. That dude has been on his way for over 2 years now. Maybe they can carpool?
\n