{"id":54904,"date":"2014-09-01T11:34:56","date_gmt":"2014-09-01T15:34:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=54904"},"modified":"2014-09-01T11:34:56","modified_gmt":"2014-09-01T15:34:56","slug":"happy-monday-yer-labor-day-funnies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=54904","title":{"rendered":"Happy Monday: Yer Labor Day Funnies"},"content":{"rendered":"

In honor of the holiday, I thought I\u2019d post a few employment-related jokes from the road.\u00a0 These were shamelessly cribbed from the book 777 Great Clean Jokes<\/span>, by Jennifer Hahn. (Recommended, particularly if you need an occasional source of jokes for mixed\/polite company.) Enjoy.<\/p>\n

Bakers work hard \u2013 they knead the dough.<\/em><\/p>\n

How various occupations describe business climate:<\/em><\/address>\n
Tailor: \u201cSo-so.\u201d<\/em>
\nElectrician: \u201cPretty light.\u201d<\/em>
\nAuthor: \u201cAll right.\u201d<\/em>
\nFarmer: \u201cGrowing.\u201d<\/em>
\nAstronomer: \u201cLooking up!\u201d<\/em>
\nElevator operator: \u201cHas its ups and downs.\u201d<\/em>
\nTrash collector: \u201cPicking up.\u201d<\/em><\/address>\n<\/p>\n

One day I want to work in a watch factory. Then I can get paid for sitting around all day making faces.<\/em><\/p>\n

Farmer1:\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cQuite a storm last night.\u201d<\/em><\/address>\n
Farmer2: \u201cAyah.\u201d<\/em><\/address>\n
Farmer1: \u201cAny damage?\u201d<\/em><\/address>\n
Farmer2: \u201cDunno fer sure. Ain\u2019t found my barn yet.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/address>\n
Employee: \u201cWhy can\u2019t I have a raise? I\u2019ve worked here for 20 years and never asked for one!\u201d<\/em><\/address>\n
Employer: \u201cWhy do you think you\u2019ve worked here for 20 years?\u201d<\/em><\/address>\n<\/p>\n

A small businessman has two competitors on either side of his business. One puts up a sign that says, \u201cGreat deals!\u201d The other puts up a sign that says, \u201cLowest prices.\u201d After thinking for a few minutes, the small businessman puts up a sign of his own over his door, bigger than either of his competitors\u2019 signs: \u201cMain entrance\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

Sign on first barbershop: \u201c$7 haircuts.\u201d Sign on barbershop across the street: \u201cWe repair $7 haircuts.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Electricians are the world\u2019s best informed people. They always keep up with current events.<\/em><\/p>\n

Astronauts find their job a blast.<\/em><\/p>\n

How did the chemist invent mosquito repellant? She started from scratch.<\/em><\/p>\n

Carpenters have an odd occupational hazard: bad teeth. Comes from chewing their nails.<\/em><\/p>\n

And, finally, since TAH is a milblog:<\/p>\n

After World War II, a young vet is interviewing for a job.<\/address>\n
Interviewer: \u201cLast employer?\u201d<\/address>\n
Vet: \u201cUS Army.\u201d<\/address>\n
Interviewer: \u201cLength of employment?\u201d<\/address>\n
Vet: \u201cThree years, 11 months.\u201d<\/address>\n
Interviewer: \u201cLast position?\u201d<\/address>\n
Vet: \u201cSupply officer.\u201d<\/address>\n
Interviewer: \u201cReason for termination?\u201d<\/address>\n
Vet: (thinks for a moment) \u201cWe . . . won.\u201d<\/address>\n<\/p>\n

A very Happy Labor Day to all our TAH readers.\u00a0 And for any current or former Army Aviators out there:\u00a0 Mother Rucker sends her regards.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In honor of the holiday, I thought I\u2019d post a few employment-related jokes from the road.\u00a0 … Happy Monday: Yer Labor Day Funnies<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":623,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,170],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-54904","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blather","category-who-knows"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54904","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/623"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=54904"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54904\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=54904"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=54904"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=54904"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}