The best sleep I\u2019ve had since coming home from A-Stan was when I was back there as a reporter. And my stress level over there was significantly less than it is here at home.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
For the most part \u2013 yeah, pretty much the same here.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been back to either Iraq or Afghanistan.\u00a0 But most of the time, I slept like a baby while deployed – better than while here in the US, I think.\u00a0 Except for the few nervous\/scary moments, work-related stress was pretty damn easily handled.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m guessing I\u2019m not alone.\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019m guessing many if not most people who’ve deployed to a shooting war probably feel similarly.<\/p>\n
As Mark noted, that\u2019s counterintuitive as hell.\u00a0 Why, then, is it the case?<\/p>\n
I dunno, really. \u00a0But I can hazard a guess.<\/p>\n
Standard disclaimer:\u00a0 I\u2019m not a shrink, so I might be way off base in what follows.\u00a0 But it makes sense to me.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m also writing this from a soldier\u2019s perspective.\u00a0 I presume things are much the same for those deployed at sea, or with the Air Force.\u00a0 But I can\u2019t really speak for them.<\/p>\n
Deployment:\u00a0 Life Reduced to Essentials<\/span><\/p>\nAs Mark noted \u2013 life while deployed is life reduced to the basics.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s one reason why many of us miss it.<\/p>\n
Our lives are full of \u201cstuff\u201d \u2013 much of it self-generated.\u00a0 All of it creates demand on your time and energy.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s almost always more to do than there is time.\u00a0 Balancing all of that imposes complexity \u2013 and stress.<\/p>\n
And, frankly, much of what we have in our lives is not strictly necessary.\u00a0 Seriously:\u00a0 in the great scheme of things, does it really matter that much if the car is shiny, or if the lawn is freshly-mowed and edged?\u00a0 Or where you\u2019re going or what you\u2019re making for dinner?\u00a0 Or if you\u2019re going to buy groceries today?\u00a0 Does anyone\u2019s life depend on the answer to those questions?<\/p>\n
In a combat zone, things are different \u2013 and simpler.\u00a0 You have what you have \u2013 and not a bunch of extraneous stuff distracting you.\u00a0 Many decisions are made for you.\u00a0 In general, the \u201csmall stuff\u201d just isn\u2019t there.\u00a0 You worry about really two things:\u00a0 doing your assigned job, and staying alive.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re a leader, you have a couple of other concerns.\u00a0 One is keeping track of your people.\u00a0 The second is keeping them sharp, on their toes, and doing their jobs.<\/p>\n
That’s about it.<\/p>\n
Further:\u00a0 unlike many civilian jobs, what you\u2019re doing is generally well-defined (albeit sometimes a head-scratcher).\u00a0 And agree or not, the intent is usually clear enough that you can fill in the missing gaps.<\/p>\n
The essential things you don\u2019t do yourself are done for you \u2013 generally, quite reliably.\u00a0 And when you get right down to it, there just isn\u2019t all that much left that\u2019s truly essential.<\/p>\n
Bottom line:\u00a0 life is both fairly simple and fairly binary.\u00a0\u00a0 BS games and nonessential things are relatively few and far between.\u00a0 So, it\u2019s easy to focus on what\u2019s important.<\/p>\n
Civilian life often just isn\u2019t like that.<\/p>\n
High-Stakes Gambling \u2013 For Body and Soul<\/span><\/p>\nI\u2019ll say this up-front:\u00a0 no human experience really compares to being deployed to combat.\u00a0 Going to a place where you know there\u2019s someone else out there who wants to kill you \u2013 and who will, given the chance \u2013 is simply very different than anything you\u2019re likely to experience anywhere else.\u00a0 That part\u2019s true whether or not you actually get shot at.\u00a0 LE officers engaged in a \u201cbust\u201d are perhaps the only ones I can think of that might experience anything close.<\/p>\n
Even then, there\u2019s a second factor:\u00a0 nothing compares to getting shot at.\u00a0 Until that happens \u2013 either by direct fire or indirect (mortars, rockets, artillery) \u2013 \u201cbuying the farm\u201d is merely a theoretical concept.\u00a0 Once that happens the first time, whether or not anyone is hit . . . you know damn well now it\u2019s real.<\/p>\n
That experience is truly make or break.\u00a0 Most handle it.\u00a0 A few can\u2019t, and break under the stress.<\/p>\n
In a way, being deployed to a bona fide combat zone (that is, one where there\u2019s actual hostilities \u2013 even if sporadic) is gambling for the ultimate stakes.\u00a0 It\u2019s the ultimate \u201cadrenalin rush\u201d.\u00a0 It brings one the highest highs I can think of- if not the<\/em> highest – and can bring the lowest lows known.<\/p>\nIt\u2019s the ultimate self-test as well.\u00a0 Even if no one else sees, you can’t hide from yourself.\u00a0 You know if you \u201cmeasured up\u201d or not.\u00a0 And that tells you a lot about whether you will in the future.<\/p>\n
I believe that adrenalin \u201croller-coaster-ride\u201d – bored out of your skull for the most part, punctuated by periods of sheer crazy excitement\/terror – is a huge part of the reason we miss being deployed sometimes after we return.\u00a0 People do dangerous, high-risk stuff “for thrills” all the time.\u00a0 What\u2019s more dangerous \u2013 and more compelling – than going \u201cmano-a-mano\u201d with literally your life on the line?<\/p>\n
With one possible exception, the most intense moment in life you\u2019ll ever know is that moment you realize you might not see another sunrise.\u00a0 The possible exception?\u00a0 When you\u2019ve made it through a crisis and realize \u2013 thankfully \u2013 that you will indeed live to see another day.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not life in the \u201ccivilized world\u201d.\u00a0 Part of us craves order and civilization.\u00a0 But I think there\u2019s a part in each of us that secretly craves a disorderly struggle, too.<\/p>\n
In short:\u00a0 it\u2019s simultaneously incredibly thrilling and terrifying.\u00a0 And it\u2019s addictive as hell.<\/p>\n
War Is Terrible . . . and Seductive<\/span><\/p>\nLee said it best:\u00a0 \u201cIt is well that war is so terrible.\u00a0 Otherwise, we would grow too fond of it.\u201d\u00a0 God help me, but I indeed understand exactly what he meant.<\/p>\n
War is indeed a terrible thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s destructive.\u00a0 Things get broken – many things.\u00a0 Land is spoiled, sometimes for years.\u00a0 People are injured and maimed; all too many die.\u00a0 The waste and suffering is immense.<\/p>\n
And yet . . . war has its own compelling attractiveness. \u00a0War may indeed be hell \u2013 but dear Lord, at times it\u2019s a magnificently beautiful<\/em> hell.<\/p>\nAircraft popping flares.\u00a0 Tracer rounds at night.\u00a0 The nighttime flashes of artillery you can barely hear backlighting structures and landmarks.\u00a0 The zooming whoosh of an incoming rocket.\u00a0 The burned-but-not-quite smell of jet or turbine exhaust.\u00a0 Hearing – and feeling<\/em> – a close explosion.\u00a0 The click-clack of a round being chambered.<\/p>\nYeah, they\u2019re all scary things.\u00a0 And they\u2019re all simultaneously and eerily beautiful, too.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s an incredibly seductive attraction in being part of a massive, effective, destructive “green machine”.\u00a0 The power of the equipment and armaments used \u2013 and the people wielding them \u2013 is simply amazing.\u00a0 It has to be seen to be believed.<\/p>\n
Whether you\u2019re the one in charge or simply a role-player, you feel that power \u2013 and that incredible attraction.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s also another beauty – an internal, and very human one.\u00a0 For a time, you\u2019re truly an integral part of something larger than yourself.\u00a0 Very literally, you\u2019re engaged in a life-and-death struggle on behalf of your nation with your brothers- and sisters-in-arms.<\/p>\n
That experience itself is amazingly fulfilling and rewarding.\u00a0 Couple that with the seductive beauty of war and well, yeah.<\/p>\n
Lee was right.<\/p>\n
. . .<\/p>\n
Am I glad I\u2019m back in the US now, and no longer deployed?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Every day I\u2019m thankful for that.\u00a0 And yet . . . .<\/p>\n
Honestly:\u00a0 yes, fairly often I miss being deployed.\u00a0 And I think I likely always will.<\/p>\n
Playing for keeps is damned addictive.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Thanks for listening.\u00a0 Hope you weren’t bored.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
TSO wrote a short article the other day that got me to thinking.\u00a0 And when that … Playing for Keeps<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":623,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[84,118,170],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40339","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-military-issues","category-veterans-issues","category-who-knows"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40339","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/623"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=40339"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40339\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":102275,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40339\/revisions\/102275"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=40339"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=40339"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=40339"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}