I’ve heard some funny stories in my day. Lots of them. There was one PFC in my unit that casually told a story one day about the time “me and some friends dug up a gentleman’s head to take him out for a good time.” That story was disturbing funny. I had another dude who had a great story about coming home from weekend drill to find that his then-wife had stolen everything from the house, including the dirty clothes he’d left in the washing machine. (This same chap had a series of stories that all ended with use of ether and a victim waking up to an erect man wearing only the upper half of a Batman costume.)<\/p>\n
And I’ve seen comedians I love. Dennis Miller is hilarious. I love Bill Burr for his sarcasm and wit. And of course the late great (and all time TSO favorite comic) Patrice O’Neal. And I’ve never laughed as hard as I have with my friend, and the world’s funniest human being, David Bellavia. He has stories that he would tell and my sides would ache for days everytime I thought about how hard I laughed. He has one story about being a Match.com moderator that if I even think of it I start giggling.<\/p>\n
Now, that said…..I was going through all the posts today, and came across a nugget on a post that got 5 comments. Which is ridiculous, because a post last week about masturbation got over 200. Now, I’m not saying Lilyea is in the league with the others for comedic delivery, but I nearly shit and drove off the road when he told me the story that he casually dropped into a post:<\/p>\n
Yeah, I know Carcel Modelo [prison] pretty well, but my stay there was measured in days rather than months. I was there for kidnapping, but when the Canal Zone Provost Marshall told the Panamanians that the person who I supposedly kidnapped was in custody in the CZ, they let me go. But, it\u2019s not a very friendly place. My toilet was a quart-sized milk carton, my bed was a couple of sheets of newspaper spread out on the concrete floor. Breakfast was a small roll and a cup of warm brown-colored water that they called coffee. Lunch was usually fish head soup, with real a fish head to prove it. So I have a sense of the conditions that Colonel Ruffer confronted. It was pretty scary and I wasn\u2019t an undercover spy or anything.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Now granted he isn’t telling the whole story here. But for the love of Spongebob, how can your author drop a little nugget about spending time in a Panamanian Jail on kidnapping charges, and not a one of you said “Um, Bro, WTF?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"