{"id":39233,"date":"2014-01-09T16:35:47","date_gmt":"2014-01-09T21:35:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=39233"},"modified":"2014-01-09T16:52:33","modified_gmt":"2014-01-09T21:52:33","slug":"who-knew-atomic-wedgies-kill","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=39233","title":{"rendered":"Who knew; atomic wedgies kill"},"content":{"rendered":"

I saw this yesterday, but I thought it was an Onion article or something, but I guess not<\/a>;<\/p>\n

Pottawatomie County deputies say a man killed his stepfather by giving him an atomic wedgie. Brad Lee Davis, 33, is now behind bars accused of murder.<\/p>\n

Court papers show Davis admitted to pulling Denver St. Clair’s underwear over the his back and head — allowing the elastic band to wrap around St. Clair’s neck.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Apparently, Davis, a former Marine, called 911 to report his crime and stuck around to talk to police before he was hauled in. there’s probably ore to the story than just an atomic wedgie, though. The article says that there’s blunt force trauma involved, too. <\/p>\n

Maybe Davis should have given St. Clair the less-lethal wet willie, or an Indian rub. But these crimes need to stop, so I’m going to write my Congressman and urge him to support legislation to ban tidy whities – boxers don’t have the elasticity of briefs for men and probably couldn’t have been stretched over St. Clair’s head. No one needs an elastic waistband that large. If you can’t get the crotch wedged into a man’s ass crack with boxers, you have no business giving wedgies.<\/p>\n