{"id":39182,"date":"2014-01-06T16:53:35","date_gmt":"2014-01-06T21:53:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=39182"},"modified":"2014-01-07T21:24:04","modified_gmt":"2014-01-08T02:24:04","slug":"william-derek-church-the-round-ranger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=39182","title":{"rendered":"William Derek Church; the Round Ranger"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Derek<\/a><\/center><\/p>\n

I’ve been giggling like a little girl since I sent this guy to Mary a few weeks ago. He’s like “The Round Marine<\/a>” and Paul Tillson<\/a> rolled into one. But his name is William Derek Church (he goes by Derek Church) and these are pictures from his wedding, I guess. He’s on Facebook somewhere, but I can’t find him. You can tell he’s legit because he doesn’t care that his Ranger beret is dressed over the wrong eye, and he wears the full-sized Purple Heart on the wrong side of his uniform. <\/p>\n

He’s a steely-eyed killer who can’t be bothered with details like getting his drawers tailored. Yes, that’s a Ranger scroll with no tab on left shoulder;<\/p>\n

\"Derek<\/a><\/center><\/p>\n

I almost didn’t bother to get his records, because he has 8TFU written all over him. but we got his records today. He spent about 18 months in the Natural Guard (don’t blame me, blame the NPRC) and over a month on active duty. But he made it to PFC.<\/p>\n

\"William<\/a><\/p>\n

\"William<\/a><\/center><\/p>\n

And see how the Purple Heart is on the left of his other medals that he’s wearing wrong? Well, that’s because he remembered that the highest medals are supposed to go closest to your heart – but that only counts when you wear them on the left side of your uniform, dingus. It took me forever to disabuse privates of that notion when we got the Valorous Unit Citation to add to the Presidential Unit Citation. They kept trying to put the PUC to the left of the VUC. Privates suck, just ask this guy.<\/p>\n

ADDED: Here’s his Facebook<\/a>, by the way.<\/p>\n

Added by Sporkmaster.
\nIt seems that he has another friend who faking along side him<\/a>, because he was “there”. Also I like how his friend threatens to send the 75th Ranger Battalion on people. As if. <\/p>\n

\"Double<\/a><\/center><\/p>\n

Added by Sporkmaster<\/p>\n

Also it seems that we are finding out more about him from his local community<\/a>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve been giggling like a little girl since I sent this guy to Mary a few … William Derek Church; the Round Ranger<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39182","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-phony-soldiers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39182","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=39182"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39182\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=39182"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=39182"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=39182"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}