Thank God the DoD is all over this like Oprah on a ham:<\/p>\n
“A freshly-prepared standard detainee halal meal was provided to the
\ndefendant by the Joint Task Force during the lunch recess. The defendant
\ncomplained that his lunch did not include condiments such as olives and
\nhoney.”\u00a0 This is attributable, on the record, to US Navy Capt. Robert
\nDurand, Director of Public Affairs, Joint Task Force Guantanamo.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nAin’t that some bullshit? Dude, I’ll do you one better. \u00a0The DoD is torturing me as well, and I intend to file suit. \u00a0Everyday they have a PFC come around and ask us if we want Subway. \u00a0So I filled out this onerous form to get my sandwich (Roast beef, tomoatoes, hot peppers, onions, sweet onion sauce.) \u00a0And today, because of the mental torture, I forgot to check the box for 12′ sub, and only got a 6 inch sub.<\/p>\n
Now, earlier I had suggested that the dude deserved an AAM for excellent delivery of Subway sandwiches to the needy bitch dude in teh media room. \u00a0But now….dude brought me a 6 inch. \u00a0That’s right, a 6 inch sub. \u00a0What man do you know that ever ordered a 6″ sub? \u00a0Do I look like Jared? \u00a0Look PFC, I’m going to die young, and I’ve come to peace with that. \u00a0Bring me the 12″. \u00a0I have half a mind to march down there and demand he take me to Subway. \u00a0But I won’t. \u00a0Mostly because we still seem to occasionally discuss bowel movements in this case, and the only thing I like more than the SyFy channel is good bowel movement discussions in open court.<\/p>\n
If you think I’m not adding “olives and honey” to my Subway order tomorrow, I’ve got a non-halal punch for your face.<\/p>\n
Torture indeed.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"