{"id":35485,"date":"2013-05-07T09:25:44","date_gmt":"2013-05-07T13:25:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=35485"},"modified":"2013-05-07T09:25:44","modified_gmt":"2013-05-07T13:25:44","slug":"i-knew-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=35485","title":{"rendered":"I knew it!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.duffelblog.com\/2013\/05\/report-finds-air-force-vast-conspiracy-to-recruit-hot-chicks\/\">The Duffel Blog<\/a>, that satire website run by our own StrikeFO, seems to be the only news source reporting that which I&#8217;ve suspected for decades &#8211; the Air Force is intentionally recruiting all of the hot chicks from high school (present company excluded, of course);<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Some examples found by the congressional report include:<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Following young girls home from cheer-leading practice.<br \/>\n\u2014 Forging notes and passing them in classes under more popular students\u2019 names.<br \/>\n\u2014 Leaking embarrassing information to unattractive candidates\u2019 boyfriends and parents.<br \/>\n\u2014 Investigating the lives of pop-singers seen as most influential to prospective candidates.<\/p>\n<p>In addition, investigators said the activities included painting the other services as ugly, rough, dumb and only for the \u201cbutch\u201d and \u201clesbian\u201d girls.<\/p>\n<p>Law enforcement officials said the best example of the targeting was the secret recruitment of pop-singer Justin Beiber, who included lyrics such as \u201cfly high with me baby\u201d and \u201cyou are my wings\u201d in every one of his songs to aid the Air Force. Air Force Recruiting Command, however, repeatedly denied the allegations stating Justin Beiber was just a bad writer and his repeated use of the same lyrics were strictly coincidence.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Of course, the hotties that come here and aren&#8217;t in the Air Force were just smart enough to resist the obvious focused marketing of the Air Force recruiters.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Duffel Blog, that satire website run by our own StrikeFO, seems to be the only &hellip; <a title=\"I knew it!\" class=\"hm-read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=35485\"><span class=\"screen-reader-text\">I knew it!<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[92],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35485","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35485","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35485"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35485\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35485"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=35485"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=35485"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}