OK, we\u2019ve weeded out those that were \u201cNO GOs\u201d, the near misses, and those that were “saved by the bell” due to having some kind of redeeming factor.\u00a0 Now it\u2019s time for the TAH Playlist From Hell.<\/p>\n
These are the audio and\/or video clips that are truly, remarkably bad.\u00a0 They’re the ones bad enough to make you want to pour bleach in your eyes and jam a pencil in both ears after you\u2019ve seen them.<\/p>\n
I must say I\u2019m a bit surprised that no one suggested Frankie Goes to Hollywood\u2019s \u201cRelax\u201d (especially the original video version that was filmed in a gay S&M bar and which no one would screen because it was so hugely disturbing \u2013 it\u2019s out there on YouTube) or Nine Inch Nails\u2019 Ah, the hell with it.\u00a0 There are probably a bunch of others out there that are just as bad (or worse) that I didn\u2019t think of either.\u00a0 In any case, I think what follows is a worthy Playlist From Hell.<\/p>\n No rank-ordering of items here is intended or implied.\u00a0 They\u2019re pretty much in order of submission.<\/p>\n And they\u2019re all . . . bad.\u00a0 Really, really bad<\/em>.<\/p>\n Without further fanfare, I give you der W\u00fcrst<\/em>:\u00a0 the TAH Playlist From Hell.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by TSO:\u00a0 Winny Puhh – “Meiecundimees \u00fcks Korsakov l\u00e4ks eile L\u00e4tti”<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=2dllo85ZSUk&feature=player_embedded<\/a><\/p>\n There was absolutely no way this one wasn’t making the list.\u00a0 It’s a complete WTF moment, both visually and musically.\u00a0 Absolute Playlist From Hell material.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Twist:\u00a0 Banana Song<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=f1INy7UZ1kI&feature=player_embedded<\/a><\/p>\n Bad.\u00a0 Just freaking bad.\u00a0 PHF, here I come.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Hondo:\u00a0 Neanderthal Man – Hot Legs (older live version)<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=YGWaP7Q5vCI&feature=player_embedded<\/a><\/p>\n My personal candidate for worst piece of crap I\u2019ve ever heard on US radio in my lifetime – and maybe the worst ever to hit the US airwaves.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Blanka:\u00a0 Peanut Butter Jelly Time<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=9ekIzGfJkBs<\/a><\/p>\n Yeah, that\u2019s bad enough for the Playlist From Hell.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Devtun:\u00a0 Tiny Tim \u2013 Tiptoe Through the Tulips<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=N_PLWqnfFgU<\/a><\/p>\n It\u2019 freaking Tiny Tim\u2019s \u201cTiptoe Through The Tulips\u201d<\/i>.\u00a0 \u2018Nuff said.\u00a0 PFH.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by LCDR M(Ret):\u00a0 unknown amateur band \u2013 \u201cCocaine\u201d<\/p>\n https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=IvZaOJA_BO8&playnext=1&list=PL08D6B24ED6D286EB&feature=results_main<\/a><\/p>\n Even incredibly bad audio can\u2019t disguise just how horrible<\/i> a cover of J J Cale\u2019s classic \u201cCocaine\u201d this is.\u00a0 Ugh.\u00a0 PFH.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by LCDR M(Ret):\u00a0 Mr. Trololo!<\/p>\n https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=oavMtUWDBTM<\/a><\/p>\n PFH, no question.\u00a0 More Soviet exports like this might have changed the course of the Cold War by ending the West\u2019s will to live!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Old Tanker:\u00a0 (anonymous Japanese artist) – Ah-Eee<\/p>\n http:\/\/youtu.be\/vs1CA5hFdd4<\/a><\/p>\n AIEEEE! is right.\u00a0 This sucks Honorable Emperor-sama\u2019s Imperial Wazoo.\u00a0 Playlist From Hell all the way.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by rb325th:\u00a0 artist \u2013 Friday<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0<\/a><\/p>\n Yeppers \u2013 PFH material.\u00a0 Thoroughly and completely 100% died-in-the-wool bad.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Heidi:\u00a0 Trio – Da da da ich lieb dich nicht du liebst mich nicht aha aha aha<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=0Cl9C19u2Yc<\/a><\/p>\n Before seeing this, I did not know that German-techno-rap-folk-salsa fusion existed.\u00a0 After seeing this, I wish I still<\/i> didn\u2019t know that genre existed.\u00a0 Clearly PFH material.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by USMCE8Ret:\u00a0 TACO \u2013 Puttin\u2019 on the Ritz<\/p>\n https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=OG3PnQ3tgzY<\/a><\/p>\n A thoroughly bad cover of a classic song, coupled with a thoroughly bad and rather incomprehensible video as well.\u00a0 It\u2019s got nowhere near enough camp humor to make the \u201credeeming qualities\u201d list.\u00a0 PFH material.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by NHSparky:\u00a0 William Shatner – Rocket Man<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=L77R2eJ279k<\/a><\/p>\n I really debated this one \u2013 it seemed to be more an example of really bad beat poetry reading than a song.\u00a0 I finally decided it was just too damn bad to keep off the PFH.\u00a0\u00a0 So it goes here.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by MCPO NYC USN (Ret.): Yoko Ono performing at MoMA<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=HdZ9weP5i68<\/a><\/p>\n Playlist From Hell.\u00a0 Had to think about this one for a while, too.\u00a0 I finally decided that this qualifies as music even though it’s wordlessly lyrical, much like \u201cThe Great Gig in the Sky<\/a>\u201d by Pink Floyd.\u00a0 But unlike<\/span> the Pink Floyd tune (which is IMO absolutely excellent), Ono\u2019s \u201csong\u201d here is absolutely butt-ugly God-awful bad<\/span>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Country Singer Says:\u00a0 Reelin\u2019 in the Years – Donny and Marie Osmond<\/p>\n http:\/\/youtu.be\/GDeVAF58jPg<\/a><\/p>\n PFH, no question.\u00a0 Donnie and Marie Osmond covering a freaking Steely Dan<\/span> classic<\/em>?\u00a0 \u2018Nuff said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Country Singer, Claymore:<\/p>\n Anonymous crackhead\u00a0 – Amazing Grace (I think)<\/p>\n http:\/\/youtu.be\/jOHCQ7EmmyA<\/a><\/p>\n So bad that words fail me.\u00a0 PFH all the way.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Twist:\u00a0 Afro Circus (10 min)<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=_aELcXyjpts<\/a><\/p>\n PFH \u2013 barely.\u00a0 I almost tossed this for being too long a repeating loop, and probably should have.\u00a0 But it\u2019s just so<\/span><\/em> freaking annoying!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by MCPO NYC USN (Ret):\u00a0 I wanna love you tender \u2013 Vikko Sammi?<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=YPnGPIMUnus<\/a><\/p>\n PFH.\u00a0 Monumentally bad music and video.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Heidi:\u00a0 Mc Einar – Arh d\u00e9r<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=ugKQvPJXC0Y<\/a><\/p>\n PFH.\u00a0 Really, really bad.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Country Singer:\u00a0 Touch My Body (mercifully unknown karaoke singer)<\/p>\n http:\/\/youtu.be\/G7oGx2dImE8<\/a><\/p>\n Yep, PFH.\u00a0 It really is that bad.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Heidi:\u00a0 Mr. T \u2013 Treat Your Momma Right<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=xhZRqPPTNjE<\/a><\/p>\n PFH.\u00a0 Mr. T trying to sing?\u00a0 \u2018Nuff said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Heidi:\u00a0 Baltimora \u2013 Tarzan Boy<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=v8pYwJ8fKMY<\/a><\/p>\n PFH all the way.\u00a0 Truly crappy song; even worse video.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Twist:\u00a0 Pee Wee Herman – You\u2019re My Special Chair<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=bMzduCJG6OU<\/a><\/p>\n That\u2019s just bizarre \u2013 and disturbing – enough to make the PFH.\u00a0 And I do hope that wasn\u2019t the chair from the theater where Pee Wee got busted for . . . well, never mind.\u00a0 (smile)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Veritas Omnia Vincit:\u00a0 Denise Richards \u2013 \u201cTake Me Out to the Ballgame\u201d<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=54fsrgLIc9E<\/a><\/p>\n Wow.\u00a0 PFH, right next to<\/p>\n Submitted by Hondo:\u00a0 Mike Ditka\u00a0 – \u201cTake Me Out to the Ballgame\u201d<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=hAXTbPCcGNM<\/a><\/p>\n Mike Ditka \u201csinging\u201d. \u00a0\u2018Nuff said.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by MCPO NYC USN (Ret.): Moon Unit Zappa \u2013 Valley Girl<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Qb21lsCQ3EM<\/a><\/p>\n I had to really think about this one for a while.\u00a0 I finally put this in the PFH.\u00a0 Moon and some of the others in her video are easy on the eyes, but the song – and her valley girl “OMG\u201d and \u201ctotally\u201d and \u201cfer shure\u201d – are even worse than the screech of nails on a chalkboard.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by MCPO NYC USN (Ret.):\u00a0 Minny Riperton \u2013 Loving You<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=kE0pwJ5PMDg<\/a><\/p>\n Bad enough to deserve PFH status.\u00a0 But if you’re male, I understand it can be useful \u2013 just turn the volume way up and stand next to the speakers during some of the high notes.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be \u201cshooting blanks\u201d for a couple of weeks. \u00a0(smile)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by PortDawg:\u00a0 Jan Terri \u2013 Losing You<\/p>\n http:\/\/youtu.be\/hLqvQUoxLFI<\/a><\/p>\n PFH.\u00a0 And I really do need bleach for my eyes now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Veritas Omnia Vincit:\u00a0 Fat People Dancing<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=L8Ilpm5n4iU<\/a>\u00a0 (NSFW)<\/p>\n PFH.\u00a0 Holy crap, where is that damn bottle of bleach!\u00a0 Does it work on memories, too?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by CC Senior:\u00a0 Mrs. Miller – A Lover\u2019s Concerto<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=8t_tDsYd7Rg<\/a><\/p>\n Oh my God.\u00a0 PFH with a bullet!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by CC Senior:\u00a0 Klaus Nomi \u2013 You Don\u2019t Own Me<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=d-Yrg9xNSS0<\/a><\/p>\n Yeah, definitely PFH material.\u00a0 A truly bad cover of a modern standard with a really bad video to match – and an even worse \u201cbackstory\u201d concerning the artist (yes, the pun in the choice of words there is intentional).<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Detn8r:\u00a0 Roseanne Barr \u2013 Going to the Doctor<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=vfPxkuJMrjw<\/a><\/p>\n PFH.\u00a0 Be thankful – at least we didn\u2019t see her \u201cplay doctor\u201d with anyone in the video.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Twist:\u00a0 Jan Terri – “Excuse My Christmas”<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=C5Ng1HbOAKs<\/a><\/p>\n PFH.\u00a0 Ye gods \u2013 that\u2019s bad.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Aysel:\u00a0 Leek Spin<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=1wnE4vF9CQ4<\/a><\/p>\n Yep, PFH material.\u00a0 Tune\u2019s catchy for about 20 seconds, then rapidly thereafter gets annoying as hell.\u00a0 And the video is absolutely lame.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by EdUSMCleg:\u00a0 He Man \u2013 What\u2019s Up (What\u2019s Going On)<\/p>\n https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=itvJybdcYbI<\/a><\/p>\n At 2:07, that\u2019s PFH material.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Just Plain Jason:\u00a0 Aqua \u2013 Barbie World<\/p>\n http:\/\/youtu.be\/ZyhrYis509A<\/a><\/p>\n God, I\u2019d managed to forget that truly awful piece of\u00a0 . . .\u00a0 junk.\u00a0 PFH.\u00a0 Damn you, Jason!\u00a0 (smile)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by SGT Kane:\u00a0 Alice Cooper, Clones<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=6xgow_GbXhk<\/a><\/p>\n Discussion:\u00a0 Added to the PFH due to multiple reader recommendations to add it.\u00a0 Alice Cooper did some great stuff – but this one wasn’t anywhere near one of his better efforts.\u00a0 It’s pretty damn bad.\u00a0 (I will say that the studio version of the video has some great<\/em> eye candy, though.)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Twist:\u00a0 David Hasselhof \u2013 Du<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=yT5rqKMaHAg<\/a><\/p>\n Discussion:\u00a0 When ladies who grew up in Europe start telling me it’s crap, that enough of a tie-breaker for me.\u00a0 PFH.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Submitted by Hondo:\u00a0 Alien Sex Fiend \u2013 Attack<\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=FHTn-vw3g64<\/a><\/p>\n Discussion:\u00a0 I thought it was bad enough for the PFH \u2013 and most who gave inputs about it agreed.\u00a0 So it goes on the PFH.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n OK, there it is.\u00a0 The TAH Playlist From Hell, in all its “glory”.\u00a0 I’d say “enjoy”, but I don’t really think that’s possible with this list – and I never did like hypocrisy.\u00a0 (smile)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Special mention:\u00a0 the Beach Boys self-spoof submitted by AW1 Tim was indeed god-awful bad.\u00a0 But the freely-viewable version got taken off YouTube, apparently for legal reasons.\u00a0 And all other versions of it seem to require YouTube login.\u00a0 I’m putting the link to one of the login-required versions here for anyone who wants to see it, but I can’t really put it on the PFH under these conditions.\u00a0 But yeah – if it were freely available, I’d probably have put it here.\u00a0 It was really God-awful bad, even considering it’s a self-spoof.<\/p>\n\u201cLike an Animal\u201d<\/del> “Closer”.\u00a0 Or maybe Michael Murphy’s “Wildfire” or Gerry Rafferty’s “Baker Street”.\u00a0 Or something from Pat Boone’s “In a Metal Mood”.\u00a0 Or . . .<\/p>\n