{"id":34811,"date":"2013-03-29T06:30:13","date_gmt":"2013-03-29T10:30:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valorguardians.com\/blog\/?p=34811"},"modified":"2013-03-29T06:36:14","modified_gmt":"2013-03-29T10:36:14","slug":"gimme-yer-worst","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/?p=34811","title":{"rendered":"It’s Friday – Gimme Yer Worst!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Well, TSO\u2019s non-update update on the great USO brouhaha<\/a> got me to thinking.\u00a0 And you know that means I\u2019m about to wander off the reservation – again.\u00a0 (smile)<\/p>\n

The “music video” – if you can call it that – that TSO provided in his non-update update about the USO brouhaha was one of the worst pieces of . . . musical junk I\u2019ve ever seen or heard<\/a>.\u00a0 (WARNING:\u00a0 most of the links in this paragraph are to video clips of songs so bad they may spoil your breakfast.\u00a0 Viewer discretion advised.<\/em>)\u00a0 But so was Twist\u2019s \u201cBanana Song\u201d<\/a>.\u00a0 And I humbly submit that the \u201cblast (of flatus) from the past\u201d<\/a> I provided was God-awful-bad, too \u2013 as was the even worse-sound but apparently later video by the original artists<\/a> (in spite of the eye candy in the newer video).\u00a0 And there are a couple of other . . . interesting items in the comments, too.<\/p>\n

So I\u2019m asking for TAH reader input here.\u00a0 What in your opinion is the absolute worst<\/strong><\/em> song you\u2019ve ever heard – or seen and heard on video?\u00a0 I’m talking stuff that is want-to-put-bleach-in-your-eyes-and-jam-a-pencil-in-your-ears-after-seeing-the-video God-awful bad<\/span><\/em>.<\/p>\n

Some ground rules:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 A representative video or audio clip of the song must be available on the Internet.\u00a0 A verbal description of bad just is not sufficient.\u00a0 Everybody needs to be able to hear and\/or see for themselves what bad looks like.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Provide a link to said audio or video clip.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 Be at least semi-serious.\u00a0 Don’t get “cute” and post links to a sister-service’s song (Anchors Aweigh\/Off We Go Into the Wild Blue Yonder\/The Army Song\/The Marine’s Hymn), a rival school\u2019s alma mater<\/em>, the former Soviet national anthem, or anything like that.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking about really bad songs<\/i>, irrespective of politics or rivalries.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 Multiple submissions are OK.\u00a0 But if you put more than a couple of links in a single comment, the spam filter may flag and filter it.\u00a0 Best to go with no more than 2 links per comment.<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0 Foul language alone doesn\u2019t qualify a song, nor do lame lyrics.\u00a0 So don’t send in something just because its lyrics are foul\/lame\/obscene – unless it\u2019s just so bad overall as to qualify as being musically<\/em> obscene as well.\u00a0 Ditto marginal or even bad performances of an otherwise decent song – it needs to be spectacularly<\/span> bad in that case.\u00a0 (And if you do post a link to something with foul language or nudity, please<\/em> include a “NSFW” warning).<\/p>\n

6.\u00a0 Submissions must be generally accepted as actually being music.\u00a0 Bad verbal monologues, comedy bits, sound effects, or non-musical acts don’t qualify.\u00a0 This means some of Pink Floyd’s early work (and similar things) won’t qualify; an example would be “Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving With a Pict<\/a>“.<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0 Finally:\u00a0 bad covers of The Star Spangled Banner<\/em> are off-limits.\u00a0 Yeah, there have been some legendarily bad<\/em> covers of the national anthem, and yeah \u2013 the melody possibly isn\u2019t the finest, musically speaking, on earth.\u00a0 But IMO as the national anthem it has a special status and is deserving of a bit of respect.\u00a0 So don’t submit any covers of the national anthem – no matter how bad.<\/p>\n

. . .<\/p>\n

OK, those are the rules.\u00a0 Gimme yer worst!<\/p>\n

And who knows – if the resulting “playlist from hell” turns out “good” enough, maybe the folks at Leavenworth can put it on a continuous loop on the TVs in Hassan’s and Manning’s cells. (smile)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well, TSO\u2019s non-update update on the great USO brouhaha got me to thinking.\u00a0 And you know … It’s Friday – Gimme Yer Worst!<\/span>Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":623,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,170],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34811","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blather","category-who-knows"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34811","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/623"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=34811"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34811\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=34811"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=34811"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.azuse.cloud\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=34811"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}